i. In Between Worlds
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Everyone knows that once that phrase or any variation thereof is uttered, everything will instantly take a turn for the worse
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"So, let me get this straight: no one can see you, even when you're standing right in front of them; no one can hear you when you speak; no one can feel it when you touch them." I checked each point by raising a finger, and waited for the blue-haired girl's affirmation. "I-I guess so." she replied nervously and fidgeted with her hands, looking up at me from where she sat on my bed.
"Well, it's clear then." I stated, and continued applying mascara to my lashes, utilizing the aforementioned fingers to hold the applicator. "What is?" the girl asked, clearly not catching on. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Sometimes they could be so difficult.
"You're d-", I stopped myself from blurting it out insensitively. "Well, you see", I tried again, turning away from the mirror to look at her, sitting miserably a few feet away from me. "You're kind of sort of...not that...alive anymore." She frowned. "So, what are you saying?" She inquired, her lower lip beginning to tremble.
I sighed. "Honey, hate to break it to you. But you're dead." "Dead." she echoed, her eyes probably a picture of what you would find if you looked up the term blank in the dictionary. "Yep, dead. Done for. Kicked the bucket. Bit the dust. Whathaveyou." I waved my free hand dismissively and the patted her shoulder awkwardly with it.
Contrary to popular belief, ghosts aren't insubstantial. At least, not when you have the ability to see them. There apparently exists a rule that says if you can see something, you can touch it. Or maybe I just unintentionally give off some vibes that make ghostly forms turn substantial. It's not like this job came with a manual. I'd be glad if it did, I assure you.
Blue-haired ghost girl seemed at a loss for words, presumably contemplating what I'd just said. It never ceased to amaze me how it always took them so long to get it. I mean, wouldn't you notice if you died? Or was it that I only ever got to deal with dumb ghosts? Being able to see and talk to ghosts was bad enough, but that I only get perverted, old or mentally challenged ones really took the cake.
To my utter horror, the ghost girl's lips began trembling excessively now and I repressed a groan, forcibly swallowing my annoyance. Great. I had made another one cry. Today was just not my day. And of course, this had to take place the day I happened to have scheduled a date. "Aww, sweetie, don't cry." I tried to sooth her but by now she had started sobbing uncontrollably. I immediately felt bad and went to sit next to her, making an effort to comfort her. I'm really not programmed for this kind of shit. I was way too...well, pragmatic probably wasn't the right word. Clumsy, maybe? Insensitive? Self-absorbed?
My point being, I made ghosts cry on a regular basis.
I kept on patting her arm awkwardly, but it didn't do much good. You'd think by now I'd be good at it too. Spending solace, I mean. But I wasn't. I really, really wasn't. I was simply too socially inapt. "Please, don't cry." I begged her, bordering on desperate now. "It's all going to be okay! I swear!"
"But how can it be? I'm dead!" she bawled, wailing, completely dissolved into tears. "Yeah well, a little birdie told me that being dead isn't all that bad. It's gets better once you, you know, cross over there. I know, it sounds cliché but that's the word around here. Crossing over is the thing. "You don't wanna stay around here, I mean, earth, and watch all your friends grow old and live long, happy lives while you stand on the sidelines, watching."
I came to regret my words a second later. That had been the wrong thing to say. Clearly. I cursed myself silently.
The girl decided she had wasted enough of my precious time, looked at me with glassy eyes and disappeared. Anticlimactic, to say the least.
"Huh, that went well." I muttered sarcastically under my breath. "What a surprise." I really wasn't the right person for this job. Hell, even my best friend would probably have fitted the job description of Ghost Whisperer better, and she was quite the icecube. At least she could handle diplomatic situations well.
"I hardly think my day can get any worse." I told my silent room, and shrieked loudly when the room answered.I wished I could take the words back the second I uttered them, because everyone knows that once that phrase or any variation thereof is said, everything will instantly take a turn for the worse.
And everything did.
In the form of Natsume Hyuuga, that is. My ghostly stalker. Anyone have a spare gun available, so I can kill myself?
Natsume Hyuuga was everything that was wrong with my life. For one thing, he was a ghost and a stalker at once. Two nuisances at the price for one. For another thing, he loved to annoy and bully me. And last and certainly not least, he claimed he loved me to boot. That is to say, if he was to be believed. Which I didn't think he was. Mostly. Kind of. Part of me didn't, at least. A small percentage. It sure sucked being stuck in between words––in between the world of the living and the dead, that is. I was way too young to be handling all these traumatizing encounters with equally traumatizing and fucked up ghosts, most of them a few bricks short of a dozen, if you get my meaning.
"I really don't know who recommended you for this job." he announced, while materializing into the room, next to my bed, looking bizarrely out of place with his dark cloak in my pastel-colored room. "I really don't know who asked you for your input." I retorted, acerbic.
He smirked. I threw my hair brush at him. Sadly, it didn't hit him. Once again, anti-climactic.
"It's not even that the job's that hard.", he mused. "It's just that you are too useless, insensitive and silly to do anything right." "Gee, thanks for the praise. You look especially lovely today as well." I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest defensively. Why, our relationship was all about balance and affection. Not. Cruel honesty was Natsume's middle name.
"You made that poor lass cry. Thank God you have me around to right all the wrongs you make." he gloated and stepped closer to me. I scrunched up my nose. "Lass? Man, Natsume, we're not in godforsaken Ireland, okay? Next thing you know, you'll be calling me bairn. Ugh." I shook my head in mock disappointment.
Natsume sneered his trademark sneer. I gave him the finger.
"You're so sexually frustrated, it's not even funny anymore." Natsume commented smugly. "You volunteering, or what?" It was my turn to sneer when he didn't negate my question. "Sacrifice myself, more like." he taunted me. "Before I let any part of you near me, you will have to tie me to a chair and cut my hands off, or something else will be cut off." I spat, arching a brow and lowering my gaze suggestively.
"The tying up part sounds doable." I narrowed my eyes; in turn, Natsume narrowed his. "Sounds like you're pretty desperate to get laid, huh, Natsume?"
For a moment, I though he looked taken aback, but I must have been mistaken because a moment later he said "I stand corrected. It is kind of funny seeing you hide the fact that no boy in the whole universe is even remotely interested in you." Ignoring him, I checked the time and cursed inwardly when I realized that I was wasting it. "Not even aliens could be interested in a freak-of-nature such as yourself. I, on the other hand..." he trailed of, grinning cheekily.
I groaned. "Ugh, not this again."
He winked. "I've always had a bit of a soft spot for you, you know." "Well, if that's the way you treat a girl you're trying to woo, I don't want to see you dealing with a girl you hate." Natsume just smirked.
"I hate you." I sighed and stepped away from him. "No, you don't." he countered smugly. "Oh yes, I very much do." I disagreed, and took another step back as he continued gaining on me. "I beg to differ.", Natsume scoffed. "I know, as a matter of fact, that you are very much in love with me."
"Whatever. Don't flatter yourself. No use talking to you today. A wall is more responsive." I declared, stepped around him, averting the arms he extended in my direction, and picked up my cloak.
Natsume watched me as I freshened up my lip gloss, and I saw his reflection narrowing its eyes. "Where are you going?" he demanded, and now it was on him to cross his arms over his chest. "Out." was my curt reply. This really wasn't any of his business. Why did everyone feel the need to meddle into my love life?Wait. Let me rephrase that: For fuck's sake, why couldn't Natsume just stay the hell away from me and stalk someone else? "With?"
"Stop being so possessive, Natsume! By the way, you're sounding like my mother. We––that is to say, you and me––are not a couple, so I can go out with whomever I please." His eyes flashed with anger and I could tell I had succeeded in riling him up. I smirked triumphantly. Natsume might be getting under my skin, but I sure as hell got under his as well.
Looked like I was good at something after all.
"Oh yes? And what about that one time we-" he started, but I didn't let him finish. "Look, Natsume, you are a ghost. I am not. Since you can't rise from the dead, and I don't feel particularly inclined to die, we will never have a future together. With the emphasis on never. Hell, there isn't even a we. How often do I have to explain this to you?" I told him, exasperated. A muscle in his jaw flexed. "That didn't seem to bother you when we-"
"Stop it, Natsume. No means no. Go haunt someone else. I bet there are enough females willing to succumb to your abundant charms." Air quotes accompanied my last words.
Natsume frowned darkly, and kept watching me as I put on the last touches of my make up. "Mikan." He said, seriously, and I repressed a shiver as he said my name in that way. All earnest, quiet, and passionate. I took a deep breath to compose myself. "I'm trying to lead a normal life here, don't you see, Natsume?" I exclaimed, throwing my hands into the air in desperation.
Natsume truly brought out the worst in me.
I checked the time and realized I really had to get going. I tried to brush past Natsume but one of his arms shot out and snaked around my waist, efficiently stopping me in my tracks. His body next to mine (which was warm despite his death, ironically enough), his breath on the soft skin of my neck, and his arms around me, nearly crumbled all my reserve.
"Mikan." he breathed. "I understand." He lowered his eyelids and released me. "Go, if you need." Intense pain shot across his features and the vulnerability he showed really did me in. I swallowed, and caught his intense gaze.
I couldn't move, and we were only inches apart. Close enough to kiss. Close enough for me to go to heaven for a few precious minutes. Close enough to succumb to the temptation that was Natsume Hyuuga. Close enough to almost touch my lips to those of a ghost. Close enough to screw my life up even more than I already had. Close enough to make the biggest mistake of my life.
A/N: Decided to give the 120 one shot challenge a try. I will probably update very sparsely. Sorry, I know I suck when it comes to commas. Most of my one shots are probably going to be more on the drabble side and the setting will be AU, because I suck at canon-verse. Sorry for any mistakes, please review if you liked it. For the title, I was inspired by the album with the same name by Augustana.
Future one shots might be bordering on M, but won't include any explicit contents because I can't write lemons. They are probably going to be implicit and suggestive.
By the way, Natsume comes across as really arrogant. Arrogant, vulnerable guys might be nice in fiction, but I can assure you, in real life a boy is so not desirable if he's all over himself. Ugh.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice. Wouldn't dream of it.
