A Demon's Fate
Irina Romanoff was taught that being normal sucked. It didn't stop her from dreaming about a normal life, or as normal as she could have. She wanted to have ordinary friends, go to High School and fight with problems like who to go with to prom.
However, her real life was HELL with a capital H. They kept her locked up somewhere in a Russian spies' base for almost 300 days. She was counting every single moment she spent there. It meant that her old life, where she was living with her grandma, was over. Why did they take her? How long would she be kept there? Will they kill her? What will happen next? These questions kept repeating in her head constantly. She was there so long she almost reached the point of insanity. Maybe she was insane, since the day she discovered what she could do. Irina looked hesitantly at her own hands. Hands that can kill and be brought back to life, literally. Something in the back of her mind, a quiet voice whispered "it is why they want you". She was terrified and alone. She wanted to go home and bury herself under her blanket to sleep. Just sleep as long as it was possible. Perhaps, they would not kill her…. She knew what happened to her older sister Natasha.
She was merely a thirteen year old girl, but still it was impossible to forgive her sister for leaving Irina and their grandma alone. She never allows herself to think about it, but now she has plenty of time.
They were outside the house, playing hide and seek. Irina was not only younger, but also smaller, so it was easy to hide in a place where no-one else would be. She heard Tashka. Her older sister was making a lot of noise for a purpose, which was still a secret to her. The little girl put a hand on her mouth, to stifle a giggle that was in her throat. They kept playing that, since they moved to their grandma's house. They used to live in Siberia, with their parents, but when they died… Irina quickly lost her good mood. She was very small, but still remembered the day, when her mama died…. Tashka hugged her for almost fifteen minutes before, she said that mama joined their father somewhere in heaven. She just nodded and asked when they would meet again.
"Soon, Irinka, very soon." This was a stiff reply from her sister.
Irina shook her head in attempt to get these memories out of her mind. It was not like, they were unhappy here. No, it was just that…. They thought she was too small to understand it… She saw how her grandma keeps counting their money (or what was left) or how Tashka checked the surrounding every time they went away from home. She heard that in Russia many people died, because they didn't have money to buy food. She was so deep in thought, that she didn't recognize her sister's footsteps quite close to her hideout. In the next moment, the little girl was picked up from the box, that stood next to west wall of their home, and was put on Tashka's shouldesr.
"Got you, little monster" her red-head sister was always smiling for her. She had a beautiful smile that shone with love and happiness, even in those hard times. Grandma said that Tasha was the most beautiful young woman she had ever met, and Irina would be too, when she grow up.
"Tasha, let me go!" she screamed, while trying to struggle from her grip. She was laughing out loud for the last time in her life. Because then two men in weird looking uniforms came with their grandma. Something deep inside Irina twisted with fear and she caught Tasha's hand in grip. In a moment she was in grandma's arms and those men took her older sister. But what was more painful was she didn't even turn when Irina screamed for her.
Irina hated those memories. That day had only shown her how weak and pathetic she was. From that day forward she never allowed anyone to be as close to herself as Tasha. She'd never asked grandma why she allowed them to take her sister. Well, to be honest, she almost never spoke to her at all. In Irina's eyes she was dead. The girl hugged herself and brought her knees closer to her body. This cell, where they put her, was a cold place. She was hungry and tired and in addition to that. She suspected they wanted to break her this way, which was well-known everywhere. However, it didn't make any difference to her. She was half dead for at least ten years. She jumped when the cell's door opened and a man in a Russian army's uniform came.
"Irina Romanova?" he asked her.
And who do you suspected you got? A ghost? Or the president of USA? She gave him her best sarcastic smile, and got up. She knew her clothes were dirty and creased and she desperately needed a shower, but confidence was important in a nonverbal war. "Yes, that is me."
"Daughter of Dimitri Romanov and Vasilissa Ivanowa?"
"Yes" she stuck to short replies that didn't reveal too much. Living in Russia had taught her that everything she said or did (as a matter of fact) can be used against her. So, she learned how to keep quite about herself and at the same time get as much information from others as possible without them noticing it.
"After your sister joined, we kept a close eye on you Miss Romanova. It is a big surprise to us that you manage to slip from our radar and keep yourself in hiding. Quite impressive I must say." The man looked at her with a hint of interest, which made Irina felt sick.
"Is that a compliment?"
"Yes, Miss Romanova, you can consider it as such" she rolled her eyes at that "We know that you have an interesting ability. A real blessing from heaven."
"I would rather call it a curse" she replied.
"Oh, no. It is a real gift. And we are quite honored to help you to control." Now she was quite near to panic. So, one question answered. Irina wished she never knew about it.
"And what if I won't join you?"
"Well… you don't want to be responsible for the death of your own sister, do you? Because you have two choices: one you will join us, and we will leave your sister to have her little life in America or two, you both will die." It was not like she had a choice at all. She may hate her sister, but she could never allow them to kill Tasha. Irina was thinking about a way out of it, but that damn voice in her mind whispered that she lost this battle. She was Irina Romanoff for God's sake! She find a way to win, just maybe not right now. "What will you ask me to do?" she said those words quietly and they tasted like poison on her tongue.
Years later.
She was now twenty-one. Many things have changed since the day she agreed to join them. She was carefully prepared by her trainers. Now she is a perfect killing machine, without higher feeling or regrets about taking life with her touch. She's forgotten that little girl, who was concentrated on finding her older sister and had a happy family. She was a spy. The best of the best, in truth. That's why they sent her to America. She was there to kill, but she still didn't know who yet. It's not like she really cared about. She was sitting on the edge of a building, near the Avengers' Tower, just looking at them. Did they suspect that someone was here? She didn't think so.
Her sister was here. Tasha was the infamous Black Widow, the one that worked for some organization called S.H.I.E.L.D. In her eyes she was a traitor. She was close to the man called Hawkeye, who just like Irina uses a bow when he was working. The two of them seems awful close in her eyes, but there was a bigger betrayal. Her teacher, her only trusted person in the world, turned out to be one of them. The Winter Soldier a perfect weapon of Soviet's genius was one of them. James was the only man she desired but she never slept with him. In truth, she only felt lust in his presence, and it was what made her angry. They left her there, without looking back, like she didn't mean anything.
„Романова?"*
„Да?" as always it was short and without hesitation.
"Разрешение, чтобы сделать снимок"
„Кому я должен убить этого времени? А может, просто дать им предупреждение?" She really didn't care what they wanted her to do. It was not like she will suffer from that. After all she was a Russian Demon.
„Убийств Зимний Солдат. Убедитесь в том, что он мертв. Существует нет места для ошибок." In fact she was not surprised.
„понятый" careful to not make any noise, she took one arrow and placed it on the bowstring. She was good at her work; she would not want to be caught. She loved to feel how her bow worked when she prepared to take shot. Irina checked that James didn't move from his spot, and let the arrow flow to its target.
As soon as she took the shot, she tried to (key word tried) to sneak out of reach. Unfortunately, she or her boss forgot that the Avengers were actually superheroes. It was a matter of minutes until she would be caught. However, she still had this childish hope to escape before they would start looking.
It was around midnight or so when Natasha Romanoff stepped out of the interrogation room. She was desperate to find a solution which will help her to bring the real Irina back. Problem was that she doesn't know what to do. The Black Widow never felt so helpless.
"Natasha?" Clint's quite voice brought her back from her thoughts.
He was a handsome man. Pale blue eyes were sharp, just like the world's best marksmen should have. His dark blond hair was loose and looked like he just took a shower. His muscles were well shaped and she knew he was a deadly person. Still, he one of her best friends. Back in that room was her past, which never stopped haunting her no matter how much she tried. She never got relief from her guilt.
"She is my little sister Clint. She was… is…Irina. I left her there and never came back. I should have! Maybe if I did, she would have never been their…." She trailed off not knowing how to name what her sister did. Natasha always knew about Irina's ability. She really wished that no one would notice it then Irina could have a normal life.
"Thinking about what would happen if you did something never helps Tasha." The gentle tone of Bucky's voice made her look in his direction. "I'm as much to blame as you. I taught her everything I know about killing. We never looked back at her. We… I was too scared what would happened. It was easy to sacrifice a young girl instead of myself" Steve put a supporting hand on his friend's arm.
"You are so pathetic," a cold voice that belonged to Irina Romanova, the Russian Demon, rang out in the hall. She was looking at them with so much hate that even the other Avengers gave a step back. "Just listen to yourself. The fearless Black Widow and Winter Soldier pitying one girl they left behind. So pathetic!"
"Irinka…" Natasha tried.
"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT! That child died a long time ago. You killed her! I gave everything I had: my own word, my freedom, to make sure you would be safe. And you just go here and have your little happily ever after. You make me sick!" Her words were cruel just like she wanted. However, the tears that threatened to fall made her more furious. "I wish you were dead actually." And with that she let Agent Coulson take her away.
They all stood there for five minutes in silence. No one dared to look in the direction of Natasha or Bucky. Only Pepper gave them a glance which made them feel even worse. She saw what happened and was furious. If those two knew that Natalie's sister was there why the hell didn't they do anything to help her? Weren't they fucking heroes?
"She needs our help" Tony –Fucking- Stark's statement made them look at him with surprise. He never actually cares for anybody besides Pepper or maybe Phil and Rhodney. "Guys don't look at me like that. She is a damn good spy, even better than Natasha and Cap's best friend put together."
"I think what Tony wants to say," Steve gave him a warning glare, "is that we should help her, because she needs it. She is still a broken child somewhere deep inside her. She didn't do anything to deserve this. And they use her just because of her ability"
"Exactly what ability are we talking about?" asked Bruce cleaning his glasses.
"She can kill with just a touch or bring people back to life" Bucky said looking in the direction she left in. "She was a most useful weapon in Soviet's army. When they know that no one else can make it they send her. She always succeeds."
She spends a month in the cell, but this time she gets some clean clothes, food and a sense of having something private. Natasha kept coming just like Bucky, but she couldn't listen to their reasons why they left her and how sorry they are. After two weeks, she asked Agent Coulson (who spent most of his time with her) to forbid them from coming here. Irina wanted to stick to her hatred towards the only two people she ever trusted. But it was almost impossible. One night she woke up from a dream about the good times with James and Tasha. The rest of the night she was screaming in rage and they had to call Coulson to calm her. She felt like she was in a cage (literally and metaphorically) and there was nowhere to go.
One day they send that other red-head to speak with her. Her name was Pepper and she was nice. She didn't judge her for her wrongdoings. Pepper told her something more about that new Natasha and what she had done to Stark. Irina was smiling with pity for her stupid sister. That was not how a good spy should work. If she stayed in Russia she would be dead by now. On another day they send Captain America. He was so naïve sometimes, yet she liked him. It was him that made her leave the cell she occupied for the last month and start training again. He was a good partner to spar. No matter how much she tried she couldn't do any more damage to him than few bruises. She never thought about using her ability on him.
"Irina? Can I ask you a question?" that caught her by surprise but she slowly nodded her head. "Well, two to be honest. Why do they call you a Demon and how do you feel when you use your ability?" he made a wave of the hand indicating her own hands.
"I wasn't something normal" she said slowly carefully choosing her words. "They were afraid of me. That's why I always had someone watching me, to make sure I didn't try to kill them. After some time, when I knew that my allies had left me, I stopped even thinking about killing my bosses. And my ability? It's a curse. I didn't want it, yet I could…. I don't know, I could never get rid of it. That scared the shit out of me. When I bring someone back…. It's an amazing feeling! But when I'm using it to kill… I don't feel anything" she looked through the window. "I just feel empty."
"But you sometimes deny orders that you get, right?"
"It didn't end well for me when I did. They are not like you. When I said "no", they just tortured me. Sometimes it was just a day, sometimes even longer. It never bothered me. I was blank at that point. Everything that was one Irina Romanoff was destroyed."
"It doesn't mean she could not come back" he said gently and hugged her.
"You don't understand Captain Rogers, I'm like a broken doll no one needs or wants. I was useful, that's all." She let him hold her. Irina really didn't feel anything. She put herself in a protective shell and now she didn't know how to get out.
"When you think that you let them win," the harsh tone in Clint Barton's voice made her flinch. He was different from the other Avengers, like he had his own demons. She looked at him carefully wondering what he saw in her. She was not tall same as her sister, but her hair was golden like their mother. Natasha and Irina had the same eyes though. Big, blue eyes too innocent to see everything they saw in their lives. She was a well-trained spy; her body was built with muscle that would help her survive. Yet, there was something… something about her he could not quite put his finger on. He can't stop himself from feeling that she needed him; needed him in a different way than Tasha. And what was more important was that he for the feeling he needed her aswell. It was impossible to get rid of.
"And what should I do? Forgive them and live a happy lovely-dovely life with them like nothing happened?" she asked with a hint of fury.
"No. I don't tell you to forgive them. I asked you to stop thinking about yourself as an object" Steve backed away to let those two talk in peace.
It was three more months before she acknowledges that she had feelings for Clint. It was something different than with Bucky. She was feeling the lust toward Hawkeye but she also still needed him. It was like… like her parents' relationship. Irina was scared shitless because she was not good in those. But she couldn't stop herself from being with him. After some time she started talking with Natasha, but it would never be like before. There was too much anger, too much had happened since the last time they were together.
Well, with Bucky she was talking normally. It was not his fault in the end. She could understand him; understand that he wanted to run from there no matter what. They didn't try to program her into something. She knew that her boss thought she would better work with her own free will (to some extent).
Still at night she couldn't sleep well. After she woke up from another nightmare she simply never went back to sleep. Usually around five a.m. she would get some company. Sometimes it was Bruce (he tried to be calm just like her and she really appreciated it), sometimes Pepper or Steve, but never Clint. She never told him about her nightmares. She didn't want to look pathetic in his eyes. Today was no exception, so she put on some clothes: black tank top and black shorts. JARVIS helpful as always played some Adrian von Ziegler music and she nodded in a thank-you way.
"I was interested when you would tell me that you don't sleep well" she jumped when she heard Clint voice. When he was saying anything to her he was always using this gentle and warm tone, the tone that made something melt in her heart.
"It is my problem, not yours"
"You don't get it, huh? I told you everything about you is my problem" she saw lust deep in his blue eyes. She moved closer without noticing. His arms snaked around her. She felt safe for a first time in her life. Something about Hawkeye made her felt loved and calm.
"You should never be close to me. I destroy people I care about" she whispered, broken.
"Irina, look at me." The order in his tone made her initiate eye contact. "You are my everything, don't question that. I… want you by my side."
"I don't understand," she looked like a lost child, so fucking desirable that Clint had to stop himself from throwing her on the couch and taking her right here and now. The man softly touched her hair and brought her closer to his body. She felt herself melt into him, just like she wanted for so long.
"I love you Irina Romanoff, the Demon of S.H.I.E.L.D. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know that I'm older than you and I would understand if you wanted someone younger humph…." He never finished his speech because she kissed him. Clint never felt so much passion, so much desperation in his life. It was her unwilling gift for him. The archer picked her up and carried her to his room.
Irina broke the kiss for a moment to catch her breath, which left her as soon as he claimed her lips again. It was something she never suspected from this man. He always seemed so calm and collected, like nothing could make him lose control. But in this moment he was really close to it and she felt amazing. Clint put her softly on the bed and rests his forehead against hers. "You're sure?" he asked panting. "Like never before in my life!" she answered while trying to free himself from his vest. He smiled and pulled off her tank top and bra before she could throw his shirt across the room. It was quite funny, how they fought to get the other naked and kept kissing. She gladly gave him dominance in their kisses, letting her hands touch as much of his skin as possible.
Clint was very careful, he didn't want to scare her or crush her under his body. It only made her angry so she flipped them so she was on top. She caressed every scar on his body and he couldn't stop himself from moaning. Irina loved the control she had. But then it was him who had the control over her and she was moaning and whimpering under him. She was afraid like never before, yet so excited. Clint couldn't help himself, so he put a condom on and asked her "Ready my little demon?" "Always" and she brought his mouth back to hers. The kiss successfully mutes her scream when he broke through the barrier of her innocent. "You were…?" he couldn't finish it. "Is that a problem?"
Was she kidding? It was the best gift. He was her first and only one lover. "I love you" he whispered in her ear. "Like I love you?" she teased smiling. He laughed and brought her to a powerful orgasm. She saw stars, literally.
When everything calmed down he collected her into his arms. He was calm and happy, very happy. And if the look on her face was any indication, she was as well. "You know what?" She asked sleepily. "No." He replied.
"I think that the gossip about destroying The Demon of the Soviets was true" she came closer to his heat. "And I like the new one."
"Yeah I love the S.H.I.E.L.D. Demon as well."
They laughed together and went back to a peaceful sleep. They didn't know that up in Tony's workshop JARVIS informed Tony, Bruce and Steve what happened between them. (Without details but still, most people would be furious if they know). That was the reason why Bruce turned to Tony and said grinning "You lost. Pay." Tony muttered something about the annoying archer that destroyed all his fun, and the pain in the ass Russian spy, but willingly handed over the money. Yet, Barton and Romanoff were unaware that almost everyone in the Tower made bets about their love life.
The author note:
Some of you may notice that it is a corrected version of "A Demon's Fate". I have to say one thing: THANK YOU KevlarKitten! About story: the title is taken from a song "A Demon's Fate" by Within Temptation. What else? As I say, I really hate any romance stories between Clint and Natasha (sorry people!), cause it's almost impossible for me to imagine the two of them in a long term relationship. Ok. Irina is my own OC, and I only own her (sadly) and other characters belongs to Marvel (wish it was me).
Suggested soundtrack (by me):
www .youtube watch ?v= Ll1gydPS9qg
Skin -Alexz Johnson
Doors open from both sides- Avengers soundtrack
Silent Moon- Adrian von Ziegler
One more thing:
English is not my native language. I'm dyslectic, so it's the main reason why I need Beta. I'm still looking for one, but I have a silent hope I may find one if not and someone is willing to help, then give me PM to know. So, I think that is it. Hope you would like it and review. And forgive me for posting the same story again^^. Love you all!
Ris
Translation: (from Russian)
Романова?- Romanova?
Да?- Yes?
Разрешение, чтобы сделать снимок- Permission to take the shot.
Кому я должен убить этого времени? А может, просто дать им предупреждение? - Who should I kill this time? Or maybe just give them a warning?
Убийств Зимний Солдат. Убедитесь в том, что он мертв. Существует нет места для ошибок.- Kill The Winter Soldier. Make sure he is dead. There is no place for mistakes.
Понятый- Understood
