Nurrr. I'm writing, weeeeeeeee.. ^_^

-Do. Not. Own. Any. Thing. Yup.-

I realized something today. I realized something very important. something I wish I had known long ago.

I realize what it is to be truly human.

Perhaps I really did know it, but couldn't see it. perhaps it's just been hidden inside of me all these years. I know now I'm not a monster. I'm not evil. I'm just. human. Like them. Like. him.

Being. me was never easy. I don't think I was supposed to end up like this. but it was just too much for me. All the things I was, I am, I would have given away in an instant to be. to be normal. Inhuman beauty, untold of strength, none of it amounted to anything in the end. Nothing.

When I think of what I should have been, what I might've done. I feel such regret, such cursed anguish at the actions I took. I should have been something different.

Perhaps it was the monster inside of me. that which I could not find a way to rid myself of. perhaps it was thinking that's what I was. or perhaps, it was simply because, I was alone.

Yes, that's it. I thought that no one cared. No one wanted me for me. Everyone I knew wanted me for my power, my status, or. or my beauty. Not one of them wanted me for who I really was.

Except for Zax. Zax and. and him.

It doesn't matter now. I'm fading. I lost my chance. I lost it when I found out what I was. what I was thought to be.

Maybe. maybe he'll leave me here. alone. I must help him somehow. This planet's life cannot end, not while he is so young. he has a life to live.

A life I wish I could have shared with him.

I'll help him. I'll repair what I did. I'll help that girl.

She loves him too. I always knew she did. I know why now.

I know. I know and it hurts.

I can rest now though. I can rest knowing he is going to be safe. He will be safe and I will not have to worry. I won't have to ache any longer because I care for him and don't know if he cares back.

I know now. I wish I could return. change the past. make it better.

But I cannot. Perhaps, someday, the planet will give me another chance.

For now, I will rest. I must rest, so he can go on.

I know.

I cannot have him.

It hurts.

I will let go.