A/N Inspired by Evanescence "Bring me to Life", Salser's amazing story "Forever as One" and my own loss… Title inspired by Garbage's verse from "My Lover's Box."

Shout out to Blackdeer, Theodur, Acevolker, Fempire, Rae D, Tayg, N.Q., Melaradark and Salser. You ladies (gents too maybe?) for making FF the best place to come for FemShep/Liara comfort after the fail ends we got… ya still no blue babies and I'm f*&^ing pissed.

Here goes my first thought out fic… because I want my blue babies.

Bioware owns all, I just make them cry.

Piece By Piece

She stood in front of the vast array of monitors. Blank. The reminiscence of the galaxy at her finger tips. She was amazed at how many agents survived, all giving her reports about every species left in the galaxy.

Communication had just been re-established in the Sol system, despite the Normandy's emergency landing, thanks to the quantum entanglement communications put in place before the Reaper War. She had confirmation of Admiral Anderson's death, although details where sketchy. Some rumors had him obliterated during the push for the conduit; others had him dying on the citadel. As of yet, however, there was no news on the intel she had most devoted herself to tracking.

Goddess, Shepard. Goddess. You can't be gone, you promised.

Given the levels of destruction throughout the galaxy, encompassing the relays and the Citadel, the Normandy crew had called a makeshift memorial at 1600 hours. It had been a week after all, and no news about their beloved Commander was forthcoming. Even then, no one knew when they would be actually able to leave this goddess forsaken planet they had crashed on.

Liara left her office and proceeded to the Normandy's memorial wall where she was greeted by the soulful and piercing eyes of those left behind.

I can't do this. You said you'd come back.

Lieutenant-Commander Williams steps forward and salutes her.

Goddess, this is it…

Liara reaches out and takes the cold plaque. She tears up as it reads "Commander Shepard". She turns to the wall and blankly reads the names of the lost. Mordin, Legion, EDI, Kaidan… among the many.

Holding the plaque in her hands Liara gently caresses the letters.

This can't be happening. You are my everything. We won.

She is lost in thought as she stares at the homage to the short love of her life.

Am I hallucinating? Goddess I've been trapped for days… I must be hallucinating. What has Mother done? Thank the Goddess you got me out.

You're back. Are all humans so brazen? You are fascinating though. You've been touched by the Protheans! Goddess, what am I feeling… should I tell you what I'm feeling? I take that risk, and much to my delight you return my feelings. I knew it!

Ilos. The Council. I find you scowling by your locker. Goddess those eyes. I want to hold you close, tell you everything, my everything.

I pull you up off your feet. You stumble… Your hands catch my shoulders as you fall… Goddess your touch is intoxicating. I feel your breath on my face. So warm. I'm home. Goddess you're so close. Joker!

This is it. We will reach Ilos in a few hours. My heart pounds as I stand outside your cabin. Courage. I put on my bravest face and walk in.

'I've never been more sure of anything in my life'.

Your lips brush against mine. Your touches light me on fire, make me feel things I never imagined possible. You awaken desires and wants I never realized I needed. As we explore each other's bodies you have undeniably touched my essence; this is something I can no longer live with out.

The battle was brutal. You nearly died, I thought myself lost at the thought of being without you. We found you, buried under the rubble. Your cocky grin, lop-sided yet so beautiful as you are Goddess-damned bleeding out. You are so infuriating sometimes.

A cough, a sob, sniffling. Liara is startled back to reality. A cold reality. A metal plaque adorning her bond-mate's name. Their crew, their friends, those who fought and bled beside them, all waiting.

"Just… just give me a moment." Liara looks up at the space above Anderson's name. Tears stream down her face as she once again runs her fingers over her name.

Goddess I can never get enough of your body. Your scars are beautiful. Your hair is mystifying; I have never touched anything like it. Your eyes, that smile uniquely for me, I have never felt so wanted or loved. I trace my fingers along your body, I love the sounds you make as I do so. I press my body against yours as I kiss you with every fiber within me. This feels so perfect. Everything is so right, you with me, your arms wrapped around me, your lips on mine, on my body, ever exploring, ever defining your love for me, my love for you. Athame has truly blessed me, blessed us.

'Get everyone to the escape pods NOW Liara!'

I can't bear to leave you. But I do. Goddess-damned Joker won't leave the cockpit. My soul shatters, my mind goes blank as I watch the Normandy be obliterated by an unknown attacker. I can't breath. I hear Joker's screams. I am dying with you.

'If you so much as change a hair on her head Miss Lawson I promise to kill you, with my mind, I will do so slowly, you will wish you never met me.'

Two years. My intel says you're alive, Goddess, Cerberus did it. You're alive. But are you really you? The woman I love with my whole being? Can I do this again? Is it really you? Would you still love me if you knew the things I've done… Such terrible things… How could you ever love me again?

A gentle hand on her shoulder brings her out of her reverie. Looking over her shoulder she sees the comforting eyes of her friend Garrus, king of the bottle shooters, Shepard's drinking buddy and best friend. The final meld before the conduit push had allowed Liara to further see the connection her bond-mate had with him, everyone else and more so with me.

The Shadow Broker is dead. I kiss you, but instantly am confused and lost again. I have spent the past two years hating, angry and plotting revenge. How can you still love me when I hate myself… I can't do this to you, I won't do this to you, I love you too much…

You kiss me and it's my undoing. I find myself in you but I'm still scared. Afraid of myself, of losing you and of the monster I am without you.

We're in your cabin. I'm anxious. Afraid. All I want is you. That grin, your charm, your uncertainty… I want to hold you, tell you everything will be ok. I'm afraid of myself; I ask you for a reassurance. You hold me and tell me that you want marriage, old age, and lots of little blue children. I weep as I hold you tight… I am found in you. And only you.

'I never stopped loving you Shepard, never stopped believing you'd come back to me.'

You gently push me back on the bed after shedding both our clothes. Your kisses are like drops of rain in the desert sands. I've missed you so much, have done so much to selfishly have this again.

"Liara… I'm so sorry. She was a sister to me, my best friend… I can't even imagine what you're going through…" Garrus solemnly says.

Why, why did the galaxy put this on you? Why couldn't our ship get lost? Why did it have to be you?

She didn't answer instead turning her head to face the wall and taking a step forward. She once again looks down and runs her hands over her.

Goddess I can't do this… We have no body, no confirmation. I refuse to believe…

"I can't… I… I just… " She then drops the plaque and covers her face as she sobs. "This can't… it just can't…"

TBC if there's interest in this story, if not I just wanted to get my own pain out at not getting my blue babies…. Please review and let me know if I should keep going.