Fall, fall, and fall even harder.
The sun sinks outside my window. It sinks into the waiting ocean, the glistening ocean, the greedy ocean, all ready to devour, eat, swallow. And the sky is pink and purple and yellow, and there are so many colors so mixed together I can't even list them all or tell them apart.
And I'm looking out, and there's this pain in my heart. But the sun is so, so bright. I wish I didn't have the hole in my heart because the sight in front of me is beautiful. It should be beautiful if not for my black, black heart, void of…something.
I miss you.
I miss you so much.
You held me by the waist. Your grip stronger than ever, like you never wanted to let go but still so, so painfully soft. So soft I just wanted to melt in your arms, into your feather light touches. And your voice so gentle, rinsing my ear like velvet, brushing my skin like silk.
Those days. Those days when you would whisper into my ear, I miss them. Those days when you would take my hand and kiss each of my fingertips and brush all the fear away. I don't know how you did it, but you did.
My whole life, you were there kissing the fear away, kissing the love back into me, kissing the right into the world.
And me? I melt, melt, melt. I let my limbs go weak, I let my head roll back, I let my breaths come out evenly, expectantly. I fall into your arms, and you catch me; you catch me so well I never even felt like I was falling.
And I miss you so, so much. When I look at the beautiful, wavering sun, I miss you. The sun looks like it's melting from its own heat. Sort of like me, then. It's flickering in the sky, like a dying flame. A dying flame.
Blame me. Hurt me. I don't know. That dying flame cuts right through my heart, burns the skin, burns the surface just a tinge before it cuts right through. And then it's out, and it's cold, cold, cold. I shiver alone. And I wait for you because you come. You always come… You wrap me in your arms. You say, Shhh, shhh, everything's okay, and, magically, it is.
You are magic. That's it. The magic of my life. You make anything possible. Magic. That's the word. Magic.
