gatsby, say nick

what- gatsby

-i love you

-thanks, old sport

- y ou know how you feel about daisy

his eyes narrow

don't you fucking bring her into this

nick sighs

thats how i feel for you

WHERES THE FUCKING GREEN LIGHT NICK

gatsby screams WHERE IS YOUR LIGHT NOW

you don't have a light says nick

YOU HAVE YOUR HOUSE LIT UP LIKE ITS A FUCKING FIRE

oh

says gatsby

why thank you

you think daisy notices it from her dock?

yeah…. nick agrees. she has a dildo

OH MY GOD says gatsby

THATS HOT

fuck yeah says nick

but y'know what

what says gatsby

its not as hot as you says nick

gatsby nods

i know

nick looks off into the distance you know what i want

me says gatsby

well yeah that'd be nice… but, you know what, and he turns and whispers, old sport, would be really nice?

what? asks gatsby

suddenly tom bursts in with apples. everyone screams.

tom says nick. what the fuck?

i'm sorry. he says. he takes a bites of the apples. i was so hungry for something

apples? says gatsby. he shakes his head.

no… oranges. but we ate them all. he sighs unhappily and continues to eat his apples. gatsby shakes his head.

well, i'm sorry about the oranges.

if daisy bitched about the oranges, you'd get more. tom says angrily, biting into a third apple. he kept taking a bite of each apple and then tossing it aside. so far, two apples, each with a bite taken out of them, sat at his feet. he dropped the third and reached for the fourth.

you like her, gatsby says tom.

you'd get her oranges says tom. tom spits.

YOU WOULD EAT HER ORANGES.

oh no. stop that. says nick. thats gross. she's my cousin.

gatsby glares at tom. i could buy her a fucking orange forest. i could supply her with many oranges.

but he shakes his head. alas. she has a man with apples

she actually like strawberries says nick. idk what you all are talking about with these apples and oranges.

then he turns to gatsby

GATSBY

WHAT says gatsby.

SUCK ME OFF.

gatsby looks between the two of them

nick says gatsby

what

they're onto you

who? says nick

the apples. they're everywhere. and then he shakes his head. dammit, no, that's not what i meant. like, my people.

people?

yes, people says gatsby.

you're already cheating on me?

yeah, i'm sorry. he looks to tom. c'mere you dickwad

tom drops the apples and sails into gatsby's arms. twenty apples sat at his feet.

gatsby? says tom, looking him in the eye, happier than ever.

yes? says gatsby.

tom leans forward, lowering his voice for gatsby's ears only.

suck me off.

gatsby wipes a tear from his eye and nods. okay.

they leave nick with twenty apples. each with one bite taken out of them.

nick kicks one angrily

dammit

i should've brought oranges

gatsby looks over his shoulder as he and tom sail into the sky, and solemnly nods.