Author's note;; Hey! This is just a short one-shot I wrote to make up for a lack of anything new being posted. I know I haven't updated my main story in a while, I haven't had the mojo to do so in quite some time. Sorry guys, I'll work on it when I can!
T h e F i r s t O n e i s t h e W o r s t O n e
Julia's soft brown eyes had glazed over, her gaze currently stuck on the strikingly handsome boy before her. James Potter. The very same James Potter whom she had managed to snag as a boyfriend just last year. He made her so incredibly happy she was prone to ignoring all the questionable things he said or did. She knew now that was a mistake.
She could see his lips moving, but she could no longer make out the words. They were no doubt asking if she was okay, as she could feel her body grow weak with surprise and sadness. She could not handle this, not with him right in front of her after what he had just told her. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes; she could not let him see her like this, could not let him see her cry over him. Her legs acted quickly as her body did an unbalanced turn and then took off down the hallway. She stopped only when she was sure he had not followed her. She found herself so weak she had to put her hand on the wall next to her to keep her body upright.
James' words kept repeating in her head.
'Julia, I am so sorry….I have done something terrible. I have fallen in love with Lily, really fallen in love with her. I did not mean to lead you on…I truly did adore you, that was never a lie. I hope…we can still be friends.'
Julia was never the type to rely on words like 'forever' and 'always' but that hardly meant this didn't hurt her. She was so distraught by this, she did not notice the door to the Room of Requirement appear beside her and practically open on its own. She fell inside the room onto a very soft carpet; it was as if the room was trying to comfort her. Trying not to look too ridiculous, she pushed herself off the ground, closed the door, and planted herself on a comfy looking sofa. The room consisted of the fluffiest furniture she had ever seen and was packed full of tissues. She promptly made use of said tissues.
She had just gotten her heart broken for the very first time and it felt awful. She could finally understand all those crying girls she had seen in the girls' dormitory that were distraught over a breakup with their boyfriends. She could finally understand how they could act so ridiculously over something that seemed so petty at the time. Regardless of her realistic views on the matters of love, Julia still found herself crying for over an hour. Her mind processed the entire situation, all the reasons that this happened.
Julia had always known of James' encounters with Lily for they happened frequently (because he was always bullying one poor student or another). It was obvious from the start that he had a sort of childish fascination with the one girl that simply was not impressed with his antics. It also had to be noted that Lily was in Gryffindor with James, while Julia was a Hufflepuff. The distance between them physically had slowly influenced an emotional distance. All she could think was how obvious this should have been to her, how she should have known but no amount of knowledge could help lessen this pain.
After hours of sulking in the Room of Requirement, she scuttled to the Hufflepuff dormitory where it was already time for bed. It took a bit of effort to get to sleep because she kept getting worked up over the previous events.
The following week went by smoothly in terms of Julia's ability to stop herself from breaking down. She was determined to be okay. Determined to get over this heartbroken rut she was in. Being upset and snapping at people over petty things was not going to change a thing. However, there was one thing that bothered her; James had immediately asked Lily out the day after the breakup. The catch was that he used this offer of dating as a resolve to his habit of bullying Severus Snape. He just managed to repel Lily more, whilst Severus ultimately did something to end their friendship completely.
What Julia could not understand was how she could be so concerned for someone whom had just broken her heart; how she could care that, he in turn had gotten his broken as well. This drove her up the wall, as well as possibly deafened the ear of her closest friend, Emma. After much consideration, she decided she would talk to James. She had hope that facing the situation head on and dealing with it peacefully would give her some closure. She had not spoken to James since the break up, and he had not attempted to approach her either. One thing she did know was that she cared deeply for James and hated seeing him so down, even now. She decided she would approach him after her next class, potions.
She hurried to her class, hoping the class itself would feel her urgency and quicken. Alas, time never does listen to urgency and thus the class proceeded at its same boring pace. Moreover, imagine her discomfort when she was paired with Severus Snape for a project. Though she was not directly involved with the previous incident with James and Lily, she could not help but feel very awkward towards Severus. James had bullied him many times before even while Julia and he were together. They agreed to meet in the library later to work on their project.
Being that this was the last class of the day, Julia had all the time in the world to find James. It proved to be rather easy though, for she knew the areas the Marauders frequently inhabited. James seemed tentative when he first saw her but soon felt relieved when she explained why she was there. Julia forgave him (love was unpredictable, she could not blame him for following his heart), and even offered to remain friends. She felt as though this would be okay, that moving on did not necessarily mean she had to physically move away from him. She did not have to cut all ties with him. She wished him the best, and left to go to the library.
The satisfaction she felt was something that could not be explained to anyone around her, nor understood. Most people would have never done what she had. However, to her, this was something she had to do to make sure everything was clear in the end. She loved James enough that she was willing to let him go if that was what he truly wanted; no one ever said this had to end badly. Though there was a part of her that knew she would never stop loving him; knew that the aching in her heart would never fully stop.
Julia was currently sat across from Severus as they were contemplating the potion they would concoct for their presentation. It was now a week after her talk with James where they agreed to be friends (he had not really spoken to her at all though) and the third time Severus and herself had met in the library. She found that she was doing most of the talking however. Severus was not one for talking and when he did, his words were more than likely harsh. Furthermore, because they had still not come to an agreement on their potions project, his words had gotten even more spiteful. He seemed distracted and just plain difficult when it came to making a decision.
To make matters worse, Lily and James had just walked in and seemed to be having another loud encounter. They were always loud but for the first time Lily seemed to have found something James had done funny. Julia could not help the feeling of discomfort that overcame her at the sight of them. She hated this less than James being unhappy, but it still made her uneasy. Severus seemed to share her thoughts, as she heard a grumble from his direction.
"Let's get back to work; we need to decide on a potion." Julia quickly said, distracting both him and herself from Lily and James. It very vaguely worked.
"Is there a potion to stop the awful feeling caused by barely being noticed by the person you fancy anymore?" Severus voiced suddenly. Julia stared at him, wide eyed, and shocked at his sudden openness. He himself looked taken aback by what he had just said. There was a pause before Julia responded with,
"You too huh?"
