A/N: Hey guys! So I moved recently, and I didn't have internet for a few weeks. Which, of course, means that instead of getting to read all of the beautiful work here, like usual, I had to resort to writing my own. This was the product of internet withdrawals and maybe some lack of sleep, but I think it'll make sense. If it doesn't, let me know and I'll fix it! Thanks!
Just to be sure, here's a disclaimer for you: I don't own Glee, Phantom of the Opera (not even a DVD), and this plot has probably been done before. But I enjoyed writing it. Anyway...
Now. Everyone and their mothers know that our good pals Kurt and Blaine should be an item. Except, of course, them. Kurt and Blaine are completely clueless when it comes to the sexual tension between them (You know, the one that's so thick that it's becoming opaque? The one that's becoming hard to walk and talk through? That one.)
In order to cut through that tension — the cause of all of our discomfort — I Wes Hughes, with the help of my best friend David Sullivan, decided to arm the pair of us with tension-slashing machetes. So we devised a plan, but it failed. We brought out the big, tension-blasting guns (so to speak) and came up with a new plan, this time complete with slow-motion hallways and rubber ducks, but even that failed.
But how could that fail, you may ask? We didn't think it was possible. Nothing could beat both the machetes and the big guns. I mean, right? Anyway. We were on our way to Warblers, debating on this week's song, when it came to us. Of course — show-tunes! There's nothing more romantic than a good show-tune, especially when it came to our two best friends. But we had no idea what.
See, here was our main issue: usually, Blaine automatically gets the leads. But if we picked a show-tune, Kurt would fight for the solo. And we wanted them to fall in love, not murder each other. We could pick a duet, but that wouldn't be very subtle, now would it? So. That made another plan failed before it even happened. Shucks.
So we gave up on that one, and threw in the towel for the day. Looks like today's Warblers would be show-tunes-free and full of longing looks (I know, right? I didn't think they were real either until I saw them in action). So me and my buddy David walked into the choir room, borderline depressed, and sat down at the head table sullenly. When the rest of the group filed in and stared at us expectantly, I realized that we still didn't have a song for the week. Crap. I am a horrible council member.
Then, suddenly, it came to me. I've been told that I have this manic gleam in my eye sometimes, and I suppose it must be true, if the looks on everybody's faces say anything.
"So here's my brilliant plan, ready?" I whisper to David. "Show-tunes! Just wait. This'll work," I add when he looks at me like, we-just-went-over-this-Wes. So, turning back to the room at large, I say rather pompously, "Ready, guys? I'm sure last night's viewing of Phantom, courtesy of Kurt here, has refreshed your memories a little? Yes, well, today, we're going to start piecing together the song "All I Ask Of You." Not the reprise, mind you. The sweet one." Screw subtlety. And so with a gesture of my hands, everyone began humming.
This was my favorite part of being a Warbler – we do all our own stunts. We pick our music, we arrange it to suit us, and we do our own choreography. When I waved my hands again, after about five minutes of synchronizing, everyone fell silent. "Just like usual, boys. If it sounds amazing, keep going, and we'll write it down. If it sounds like crap, keep going and we'll figure it out later." And with that, the humming picked up again, this time together with the opening bars of the song.
When we all turned to Blaine, he began, "No more talk of darkness. Forget these wide-eyed fears, I'm here — nothing can harm you, my words will warm and calm you."
When David realized what I was getting at, he turned to me and smiled brilliantly.
"Let me be your freedom. Let daylight dry your tears, I'm here, with you, beside you to guard you and to guide you."
Then he stopped, knowing it was a duet and not being able to reach the next part anyway. Only our resident counter-tenor can reach that high.
And when the room finally came to the same conclusion I had, we all turned towards Kurt, who was hiding a smile at the solo.
"Say you'll love me every waking moment."
At this, Blaine whipped his head around to me, and all I could do was give him a smirk and a wink. Seriously, I sucked at subtlety.
"Turn my head with talk of summertime. Say you need me with you now and always. Promise me that all you say is true. That's all I ask of you."
They were staring at each other now. Everything was working perfectly.
"Let me be your shelter, let me be your light. You're safe; no one will find you. Your fears are far behind you."
"All I want is freedom, a world with no more night. And you always beside me to hold me and to hide me."
"Then say you'll share with me one love one lifetime. Let me lead you from your solitude. Say you need me with you here beside you. Anywhere you go, let me go too. That's all I ask of you."
David turned to me and whispered, "How'd you pick a duet so freaking perfect on such short notice? This could so be about Kurt following Blaine to Dalton after that butt face at McKinley."
I, still smirking, quoted our favorite movie, "I'm brilliant. Shhh!"
"Say you'll share with me one love one lifetime. Say the word and I will follow you. Share each day with me; each night, each morning. Say you love me—"
"—You know I do."
"Love me, that's all I ask of you. Anywhere you go, let me go too. Love me, that's all I ask of you."
While David was dismissing everyone, I was silently praising myself. I mean, I am such a freaking genius. Have you realized that yet? I am a great council member. They're so going to fall into each other's arms and ride off into the sunset on a glittering unicorn. Singing more show-tunes. And of course, there has to be rainbows. And then—
But then my thought train was derailed and ended up exploding when all that happened was — after an awkward pause — them looking away, clearing their throats, blushing a little, maybe some nervous chuckling, then … nothing. NOTHING. No kissing. No sunset. No unicorns, even. They weren't staring at each other anymore. Hell, they weren't even looking at each other anymore!
Everyone was gone. They had all moved on. But not me — I was still sitting there, gaping. David was tapping me on the shoulder. "Wes? Wes, man, I'm sorry. Come on, dude. Wes-miester? Wes-ley? Westopher. Come on. Listen, some things don't happen as they should. Some things, even though everything was perfectly set up…" And that's when I lost it.
"EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT! EVERYTHING WAS THERE. THE TENSION, THE LYRICS, THE ROMANTIC HUMMING IN THE BACKGROUND, THE STARING AT EACH OTHER. WHAT HAPPENED, DAVID? W-What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this? I feel so… betrayed." And I broke down.
So it was that Plan Perfect, as we ended up calling it, was added to the list of failures. But I still refuse to believe that it was the plan's fault. It was clearly Klaine's fault. Both of them. I was a little touchy about it for a while. They didn't understand why I was angry with them. The next day at lunch, for example, I slammed my tray on the table, and silently glared at my pasta. When Blaine asked me what the hell was wrong, I was prepared, both with music, and costume:
"I gave you the music, made your song take wing. And now, how you've repaid me, denied me and betrayed me. He was bound to love you when he heard you sing…YOU WILL CURSE THE DAY YOU DID NOT DO
ALL THAT THE WES-STER ASKED OF YOU!"
It was really dramatic and awesome. Especially the part where I stormed out. Did I mention the part where I was even wearing a cape? I'm such a genius. I literally swooped out of the lunchroom. It was great.
Now, if I were anyone else, I would've given up after Plan Perfect didn't work out. But no. Failure only makes Wes and David more determined. We will get them together whether they like it or not — if it's the last thing we do.
A/N part 2: So. I think Wes has a bit of a flair for the dramatic, don't you? Let me know what you think, please!
