CONVERGENT

Hey. My name is Olivia Butler, and and I've had some pretty amazing experiences. I am writing this because I'm about to have my memory erased. I want to hide this under my shirt so that I can remember some things about myself before I lose part of myself. Oh, don't get me wrong, I chose to be in this position. I am volunteering to do something that I never would have done before I knew that I jwas Divergent. (And, yes, I am Divergent, future me. You might not even know what that means anymore, anyways.)

I hope that this journal is not discovered and confiscated, otherwise I will know nothing about myself when I become a completely new person. Here goes nothing:

I pinched my cheeks, trying to bring color to the lifeless things on my face. My skin felt tight, and my feet were numb from sitting still so long. I was at the choosing ceremony which was held in a giant old building called the Hub. Hundreds of sixteen year olds were waiting for their turn to cut themselves and drop blood into one of five bowls. I shuddered at the thought of blood oozing out of my hand.

Finally-FINALLY-it was my turn to make the decision that would change my life forever. Shakily, I stood up and started making my way to the wide podium. The five bowls seemed giant from up here. There was Abnegation for the selfless, Dauntless for the brave, Amity for the kind, Erudite for the intelligent, and Candor for the honest. For generations my family had been in Candor, and that was the faction that I was choosing to join today.

Suddenly I became self-conscience of my appearance. I was wearing my favorite black skinny jeans and a white t-shirt with a fading black heart on it that hadn't been washed in weeks. When I had put it on, it hadn't looked dirty, but now I was noticing little ketchup stains. Oh, well. At least when I got home I would be able to put it in the wash. My black lace-up boots looked shabbier than ever, but at least I had remembered to brush my light brown hair.

Jeanine Matthews, (a leader of Erudite), handed me a knife. Her face was cold and unforgiving. She inclined her head to me as I accepted the knife. For a second, we made eye contact. Her eyes were like icicles. Just looking at them sent shivers down my spine. I turned away and tried to concentrate on the knife in my shaking hand. Even though I had seen many of my friends and family do it, I was still afraid to dig the knife into my own skin. I walked over to the Candor bowl which was filled with glass. The bowls next to it had hot coals representing Dauntless, grey stone for Abnegation, water for Erudite, and earth for Amity. As I approached the Candor bowl, I noticed that there was no blood in the bowl. I had kind of expected it to have bloodstains here and there, due to the fact that a LOT of kids had dumped their blood into the bowl. Nervously, I glanced at my kind-faced mom in the audience. She grinned, and I smiled back at her.

I was only with my mom today at the Choosing Ceremony, because my dad was taking care of my 3 year old toddler brother, whose name is Toby. Technically, my dad was also babysitting my two 19-year-old twin brothers, whose names are James and Daniel. Everyone knows that James and Daniel are too immature to handle looking after Toby. Once, they nearly burned down our house trying to see what would happen if you put balls of tinfoil in the microwave! So that's why my dad is home with the two of them, and Toby. Three years ago, I decided to go with my mom and dad to watch them pick Candor in the choosing ceremony. Mom was pregnant with Toby back then. It didn't seem intimidating at all when I watched James and Daniel stand in front of hundreds of people. But then, I wasn't as shy as I am now. I was only thirteen years old. But now, I am a 16-year-old woman, who is ready to make the biggest decision of her life.

Carefully, I slit my own wrist and waited for blood to gather in my palm before holding it out over the Candor bowl filled with broken glass. Eventually the blood seemed to drop in slow motion down to the glass below. Pink stained the sharp edges and smooth surfaces, but then it seemed to be sucked up by a drain. I stood on my tiptoes and peered into the bowl. Nothing out of ordinary seemed to be taking place, but I sensed that something was wrong. I saw a flash of red light deep down inside the drain of the bowl, and Jeanine Matthews looked grim, but excited. Meanwhile, The Candor people erupted into cheers, and I went to go sit down by my mother, exhilarated after taking the first step to becoming a true Candor member. I still had to pass initiation. My best friend Ana would be there by my side throughout the entire process, though.

I have known Ana since we were little kids, not worried about a thing in the world. We had met one day in 3rd grade. It was everyone's first day being in classes with mixed factions. It was a new thing that our leaders were trying out. Usually, all of the factions were kept very separate. For some reason, they had chosen to join the kids together, but only during school. We were all separated again by the time we were 16, though, because that's when we chose what faction we wished to become a part of. It was the first important choice that kids made on their own. Well, anyways, When a teacher asked me whether I had done my homework or not, I very boldly said yes. I had lied. I did not have my homework, and everyone who was Candor in that room could tell. They all had gasped dramatically, and looked at the teacher expectantly, probably waiting for the teacher to punish me for lying. The teacher didn't know anything was wrong, due to the fact that she was an Erudite.

The Erudite teacher said, "Well, then, Olivia, I'll just collect it from you, if you please."

I was caught in a tough spot. The Candor part of the class was waiting for me to tell the truth, and everyone who wasn't in Candor was looking at me strangely, probably because I had frozen up and they didn't know why.

That's when Ana came to the rescue.

She gave me a look that said, "You totally owe me", and slipped a piece of paper under her desk (which was right next to mine) and into my hand.

It was a completed copy of the homework! I gave it to the teacher, relieved. The Candor students didn't say anything at the time, but after lunch they cornered me as I was trying to escape their scoldings.

I endured several people saying, "Olivia, why did you lie!?", Before Ana grabbed my arm and we slipped away from the angry students.

After that, we became immediate friends.

Anyways, Ana picked Candor right before me in the Choosing Ceremony. That was too bad, because I wanted to tell her to look down the drain of the Candor bowl. For some reason, the red flash of light and Jeanine's expression nagged at the back of my mind. There were lots more people after me, so I busied myself by practicing a complicated hand game that took lots of time to perfect.