Torn
Summary: It's the first year Hogwarts has been open since May 2nd 1998. A young girl is left broken hearted when the love of her life- her lobster- is killed. Her best friend is jealous; her dead boyfriend/fiancée left her a single parent and she is back in school. Meet Merida Stark-almost Weasley, and this is her story.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. The three friends are my characters and I got this idea from someone who reviewed my other Harry Potter story Kailey and Her Wild Adventures. Please enjoy! ALSO THIS IS AN OC BASED STORY. But there will be mentions of canon characters and things like that.
PS: There will be mentions of pairings and such, so OC X HP-characters. Warning! Don't like, don't read.
Chapter 1: After
Fred,
Today is September 1st. Today is the first day Hogwarts is being reopened and I'm nervous. You won't be there and I wish you could be. I miss you. Things haven't been the same since you died. I wish you could be here with me, laughing and teasing me like you always do did. I still can't wrap my head around that yet. You're dead.
I know things will get better with time, everyone's told me so. But I can still see your face in my head and it isn't okay. I need you like I need air and why? Why did you have to be dead? Alaska keeps telling me I need to get over it. You were just my boyfriend- a fling if you will. I mean, I get that I'm two years younger than you and the same age as your brother Ron but what we had was real. It was real to me, and it was real to you. . . . Right…?
I miss you Fred. Why did you have to go and die on me? I love you. You were it, you were my lobster. You are my lobster! Please don't forget me in heaven. Please.
Merida
~x~
Merida finished writing her letter quickly, not wishing to look at it any longer. She hadn't been able to write much more to it, tears were already rolling down her cheeks and she was fighting to hold her screams of agony in. She tucked her letter into her carry on bag and then curled up beside the window. It was raining, the first rain Merida had seen in awhile.
She closed her eyes as she sat in her usual compartment, holding her knees to her chest as she tried to comfort herself. She hadn't been able to get a proper education last year and was coming back to Hogwarts to repeat her seventh year. Her usual long chestnut brown hair (it reached her mid back) was pulled back in a messy bun. Merida's eyes were worn in having seen too much death in her short eighteen years of life and the usual sparkling green eyes were now sunken in and always red.
Merida was a fairly normal sized girl. She however, over the past few months, had lost a lot of weight. She barely weighted a hundred pounds and even that was pushing it. She used to be curvy but instead had lost most of it to depression. Merida had slightly large breasts, a tiny bum and fairly nice hips. She had long legs that Fred use to love and her arms were covered in scars. Along her face from her left temple to her chin, three long pale scars run over her skin.
Merida had been fighting against Fenrir Greyback during the war; she had been protecting some innocent students from his attacks when she had gotten the scars. Following these scars became Merida's worst months of life. Not only did she lose her boyfriend, but Merida also became a thing of nightmares and now was a werewolf. Merida was one of the unlucky ones but she still pushed through it all.
But, as she sat in her compartment, imagining Fred's arms around her and comforting her (like he had done so many times before his seventh year); Merida was hit with a thought. She was still alive and could move on.
Hell, she even had her son. Yes, Merida had a son. Before the war, Merida had fallen pregnant by Fred, and she had given birth shortly before her seventh year. Fred's mother Molly had decided to look after Merida's son Aston Fredrick Weasley. Molly didn't want anyone around Aston, claiming that he was one of the last things she had to remember Fred by.
You could easily say that Merida was very protective of Aston.
Aston looked a lot like Fred. He had the Weasley hair, with bouncy curls; his eyes matched his mother's with a sparkling green and he had pale skin, freckles covering a lot of his body. Aston had just turned one and was a brilliant baby.
Stop thinking about him! Merida hissed into her mind.
It wasn't 11 o'clock yet but Merida had wanted some time alone before she left to go to school. She wanted to be better for her son Aston. She wanted to be more. She closed her eyes to block out the rain.
The door to the compartment slid open but Merida made no move to greet whoever had entered. She figured it was Alaska and Jesse. "Merida?" That was Jesse.
She opened her eyes and was greeted by her two friends staring at her. Jesse was a tall lanky bloke, with dark black hair that was messed up, pale gray eyes and a squared jaw. Jesse was pale and had turned eighteen shortly before the War in April. Her other friend, Alaska, was a beauty. She had long blond hair that was always been styled in bouncy beautiful curls, baby blue eyes and slightly tanned skin. Alaska was a medium height while Jesse towered over both Merida and Alaska.
"Hmm?" Merida hummed in response. She never much cared for talking, expect to Aston and George.
Jesse and Alaska share a look but Merida barely noticed. The three friends had decided to redo the year together. Mainly Jesse and Alaska thought Merida couldn't be without them so there they were.
"This reminds me of our first year," Jesse said gently. That brought a sad look to Merida's eyes. How she longed for that moment, to see Fred again once more. Alive and well….
~x~
1991, September 1st.
Merida was bouncing with excitement. She had always felt different than the other kids her age. She was more carefree and loved getting dirty. She was not a girly girl by any means and loved to get down and dirty. However, now that she had been told she was a Witch, Merida felt more like she belonged somewhere.
She had just said goodbye to her parents (Tony and Kaitlynn Stark). She hopped onto the train and looked for somewhere to sit. She found an empty compartment and sat down, taking a seat beside the window and began waving wildly to her parents. They waved back just as wildly. Her father was a muggle while her mother was a very powerful witch.
Merida smiled brightly however, when a small blonde eleven year old entered her compartment. "Do you mind if I sit with you?"
"No not at all!" Merida gushed, "My name's Merida! What's yours?"
"Alaska,"
"Like the place?"
"Yeah," Alaska said blushing slightly. "My parents always wanted to go Alaska. But they couldn't afford it so they brought Alaska to them."
The two girls became quick and easy friends. While enjoying chatting to each other, three taller boys opened the compartment door, talking about pranks. Merida stared at them. Two of them looked the exact same while the other looked different. The girls stared at the guys and the guys stared at the girls.
"Oi! What are you two girls doing in our compartment?" said one of the twins.
"Your compartment?" asked Merida, "I don't see your name on it!"
"Getting told off by a first year, eh Gred?"
What sort of name is Gred? Merida wondered.
"Oh shut up Forge!" hissed Gred. The other boy lost it laughing. "Shut up Lee!"
Lee continued to laugh. Forge shrugged, "Someone is grumpy. Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" Forge said.
Merida glared at the older boys. This caused the twins to laugh and hold their sides, the boy named Lee holding onto the wall to keep up. It was silly. Alaska looked uneasy. "Merida…maybe we should let them-"
"We were here first Alaska!" Merida pointed out. "The one thing my daddy told me was that this is a free country! We shouldn't have to move and give into bullies!"
"Bullies?" asked the twins, shocked by Merida's tone. "Now you just wait a second. Who are you calling a bully?" said Gred.
Merida crossed her arms over her chest. "You're bullying my friend and I just 'cause we sat here. Why should we have to move? We aren't causing trouble!"
"I like her!" said Forge with a laugh, "Right spitfire, eh Gred? I say we all sit together."
"But," gasped Gred, "They're first years! They're the same age as Ronniekins!"
The twins look at each other and whoever this 'Ronniekins' was, the twins did not overly like him. Merida didn't back down though. "Just 'cause we're the same age as this Ronniekins, does not give you the right to bully us into leaving this compartment. Savvy?"
Now Lee, Forge, Gred and Alaska were staring at her.
"Have none of you watched any pirate movies?"
"What's a movie?" Forge asked.
"I think it's a muggle thing." Gred said.
Alaska looked at Merida for a long time. Merida sighed and stood up on the seat so she was about roughly, the same height as the twins. She really was short. "Either we can share this compartment or you three leave. Understand?" Merida said firmly.
Somehow, that was how it went. The twins dropped onto the seat and Lee went to the bathroom, but also joined them. Alaska and Merida enjoyed the laughter they share because of how exciting the twins made them feel.
~x~
"Mere, earth to Mere!" she came back from the memory to find the worrying looks of her two best friends. It was Alaska who had spoken. She looked downright worried. "Are you okay?"
Merida blinked and then swallowed slightly. "I'll be fine," She said as she looked down. Her memories were painful for her. It always was painful. "Are we almost to Hogwarts?"
"We haven't left the station yet," Jesse said and this caused Merida to sigh. She looked out the window and spied Molly, Arthur, George and Aston standing close by. Aston was in George's arms cooing and playing with his uncle's hair. Merida smiled sadly. "Did you find Aston?"
"Yeah, he's in George's arms," Merida said turning to her friends. She sighed as she played with her hair, wondering if her baby boy would be okay without her. She hadn't been fully 100% there anymore, but she was trying. She and Fred had been planning to marry each other once she was out of school. Instead, things had taken a turn for the worst and now Fred was dead.
Jesse smiled sadly. "Hey, Molly says she'll look after him. Ash will be fine!"
Ash was the nickname Fred had given him after Jesse (whom was a muggleborn) showed him and George Pokémon.
"I know he'll be fine, I just worry. What if he misses me?" Merida pointed out.
"Professor McGonagall said you could go home every weekend to visit, remember?" Alaska said, sounding slightly jealous.
Alaska had always been sort of jealous of Merida's and Fred's love. She wanted that, she always had. Jesse had always been supportive but he didn't understand, not really. Nobody understood their love expect maybe George, but that was because Fred told George everything. Merida sighed, thinking about Fred made her heart hurt and made her want to give up. Alaska didn't understand Merida's feelings because she had yet to feel and experience the power of love. Merida and Fred had been lucky.
"Alaska," Jesse scolded gently. "Don't-"
"Don't what Jesse? Scold her? She's been sulking for the past five months!" Alaska huffed. "He's never coming back, Mere! Living in the past can't and won't bring Fred back!"
"Alaska!" Jesse gasped.
Merida turned to her so called best friend and stared. She blinked once and then twice. "I know it won't bring him back Alaska, and I'm sorry that I'm sad. I can't help it. I'm sorry that you're so jealous that I got to have that passionate consuming love that we read about in books before you did! Is that it? Is that why you're mad at me? Then be mad at me because I'm not going to forget Fred, not anytime soon." Merida stood up and glared down at Alaska. "Leave!" She pointed at the door.
"Why?" Alaska scowled.
"This is Fred's compartment and I won't let you disrespect him!" Merida snapped.
"Guys please!" Jesse begged.
Alaska stood up. "This was Fred's compartment Mere," She said snobbishly, "He died."
And with that, Alaska existed the compartment.
Merida didn't stay standing. Her body had gone weak and she was sitting in Fred's usual spot and she began to cry. Her whole body trembled as she covered her face. Jesse wasn't sure where he was supposed to do, but he made his way to Merida and took her into his arms, letting the smaller girl cry on him. "She didn't mean it, Merida." Jesse said softly.
"Of course she meant it," Merida said sadly, "I'm sorry I'm not over him."
She sniffled.
"I don't expect you to forget the love of your life, so soon. Especially when you two have a son together," Jesse said gently.
Merida nodded and buried her face into his chest, her body still shaking but at least she wasn't full on crying anymore. Jesse didn't say anymore and for that, Merida was very thankful. She needed the silence. She just held onto Jesse and her best friend let her. He knew she needed it and he wasn't expecting anything else form her. Merida closed her eyes and let out a broken sob. "I don't know what I'm going to do...he died there Jesse. Please don't make me do this alone."
"Never, Mere," Jesse kissed her forehead. "I won't leave you like you didn't leave me in our first year..."
"Thank you."
~x~
And that is Chapter 1. Would you mind terribly if you dropped me a review? This was very emotional to write. I hope you liked Merida, because I enjoyed writing her. I feel like she is rough emotion and I know I can relate to her somewhat. Not with having a child or losing someone I love like she did but feeling so helpless, you know?
Anyway, again thank you for taking the chance and reading this. Anyone who picked up the Friend's reference you are amazing! Can you guess what it is? ;) And the Avengers one too!
Nerdy~
Please don't forget to drop me a review!
