Good morning, AOS fandom! This is my first foray into the Marvel Universe, and I very much hope I do it justice. Agents of SHIELD had emotionally tramatized me, and I'm only halfway into Season 2. But 1X21, "Ragtag," was especially bad for me. The scene between FitzSimmons and Ward was exteemely painful, and I just had to wonder what Ward was thinking when he dropped them. I had to write about it, and this fic was born. For some reason, agnst is my area of strength, so this is going to be very drepessing. I'm sorry in advance.

Enjoy!

-Marcelle


"I need you to do something for me."

Garrett's words are strained, but you hear them just the same.

"Yeah, anything."

You don't need to think about your answer. If John gives you an order, you follow it.

No questions, no doubts. Only compliance.

"Put down Fitz and Simmons."

Or so you thought.

"It's not a weakness, is it?"

This time, you hesitate. It's only a second, but it gives you enough time to push away any trace of guilt before it reaches you. Garrett wants them dead, and that should be enough. Leo and Jemma-no, Agents Fitz and Simmons-mean nothing to you anymore.

"No."


They're running through the halls of the Bus when you find them. You're not sure how they made it past the guards, but you don't dwell on it for long. After all, it doesn't matter how they escaped. They have nowhere to go.

Simmons screams when she sees you climbing down the ladder, and soon Fitz is pushing her into a pod, dashing in behind her. He shuts the door before you can reach them, their faces staring out at you from behind a thick pane of glass, terror and betrayal written like ink across their features.

"Open the door, Fitz."

But he doesn't. He only takes a step closer to the glass, placing his hands against it almost like a gesture of surrender.

"Ward, please."

His eyes are wide and pleading, a look of childish naivety that is almost enough to make you want to turn away.

"I need to understand."

Because Fitz is innocent, always has been. And then you remember.

No.

He tried to kill Garrett. Garrett may still die. Leopold Fitz is not innocent anymore.

"You need to accept the truth, Fitz. He doesn't care! About us, about anything!"

Now it's Simmons that speaks up, her voice hard and hurt. You know she doesn't want to believe this any more than Fitz does, but at least she chooses to reject ignorance. It almost shouldn't make sense, you think. Jemma was the one you saved after she jumped out of a plane, and now your mission is to dispose of her and her best friend. She should be screaming at you, not worrying about Fitz. She should be trying to hurt you in any way she can,. But she doesn't. All she has is words.u

"No. I don't believe that."

Fitz jumps to your defense as he continues to stare at you with those wide eyes, his breathing heavy as his mind clearly fights to keep you in good standing. But you don't want him to defend you, and you don't need him to. Everything you've done has been done in the service of John Garrett, the man to whom you owe your very life. You are repaying a debt. You are justified.

"We're friends. Aren't we?"

Fitz gestures between the two of you as though trying to convince himself that you are connected, that this connection will spare him. You agree with Simmons; he is deluding himself. He and Simmons are liabilities, and they need to go.

"We've been friends, we've had laughs together!"

But now you look away, unable to watch Fitz struggle any longer. Because you do remember those laughs, those times when you forgot your mission just long enough to see Fitz and Simmons as friends. As family.

Fitz, a curious little brother who sometimes reminded you of Thomas, who would believe anything you said to him simply because he trusted you.

Simmons, a brilliant little sister who you saved from certain death, who has looked up to you ever since then.

Can you really watch them die? Can you pull the trigger?

"I know that you're a good person, Ward."

You almost shot Buddy point-blank that day, and you would have if you had not been so weak. Garrett had warned you never to get attached, and you had tried so hard to listen. At first, it had been easy to view them all as targets, as pawns in your game. But then they had managed to win you over, and now you're left trying to cut the strings that tie you to them. It's almost as though Fitz sees this weakness in you now, exploiting it for all it's worth. But you can't let him do that to you, not when Garrett's life is hanging by a thread that could snap at any moment.

You look back up at him, wondering if he really believes what he's saying. How can he truly know anything about Grant Ward, HYDRA spy? What do any of them really know about you?

"And you can choose right now to be good! It's a choice!"

Fitz almost smiles as he speaks, and you know he thinks that he's going to get through to you, going to change your mind merely with his words. A part of you wants to let him talk you out of this. You want to believe that the choice is still yours to make. After all, you almost refused Garrett. You tried to talk your way of this yourself. But then you picture John lying somewhere on the Bus, suffering and slowly dying, all because of Fitz. All because he and Simmons couldn't just give in.

And you know you can't afford to be weak anymore.

"I got my orders."

You think you can hear their hearts dropping.

"Open up the door."

"No."

Simmons refuses you as Fitz stands speechless, looking as though he may start crying at any moment. But then he glances at Simmons, her face a reflection of his, and you see a wave of defiance rush over him. He finally steps away from the glass.

"Not a chance."

Simmons gives you one last withering look, trying to reason with you just with her eyes. But compromise has never been your strong suit.

"Okay. Have it your way."

You back away from them slowly, turning your back on the inseparable FitzSimmons and facing the control box. You begin to initiate a command, trying to block their voices from reaching your ears.

"Wait, what are you doing? Fitz..."

Confusion.

"Okay, wait..."

"What are you doing?"

Realization.

"No...Ward, just think about this!"

"Okay, Ward, okay, wait! Wait, wait, wait!"

Fear. So much fear.

"Ward, just turn around!"

They have run out of options, and they know it.

"Don't do it, Ward, you don't have to do this!"

"Ward!"

They repeat your name over and over again as though it will remind you, as though it will save them.

"Ward, look at me!"

But you don't. You can't.

"I know you care about us, Ward!"

Fitz still doesn't understand. Caring has never been part of the plan. And yet...

"You're right. I do."

Silence.

"It's a weakness."

And you pull the lever.

You watch them now, letting these last moments punish you. Fitz and Simmons's terrified faces as they begin to move away from you, Jemma finally allowing tears to fall as Leo screams your name one last time. You let the pain whip around you as the wind ruffles your jacket, reminding yourself that this is the price you pay for caring. This is the price of weakness.

The pod falls backwards out of the plane, and you stare through the now empty space. You've completed your orders. Fitz and Simmons are gone.

The strings have been cut, and their descent marks the start of your own.

Gosh, that was hard for me to write...but I really hope this pulled on your heartstrings as much as it did mine. Don't forget to review, and if you have any AOS or Marvel prompts, I would happily accept them! Thanks for reading!