A/N: I have no idea where this came from. I can only apologise.
It works best if you grew up with Peter and Jane.
Otherwise… it probably won't work at all. Sorry.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.
Ladybird Books: Peter and Grace
By Joodiff
Peter and Grace are playing in the bedroom.
Peter likes Grace. Grace likes Peter.
Peter and Grace are having a very nice time.
Peter is a policeman. He has a big truncheon. Grace likes Peter's big truncheon.
Grace is a doctor. Peter likes playing doctors and nurses.
Peter and Grace are tired. They are lying on Peter's bed. Peter has a big bed.
Grace is playing with Peter's truncheon. Peter likes letting Grace play with his truncheon. Peter is very kind.
Peter has handcuffs. Grace likes Peter's handcuffs.
"Peter," says Grace, "Please may I play with your handcuffs?"
"Yes," Peter says. "That would be a jolly game."
Grace puts Peter's handcuffs on Peter. Peter is happy.
Grace plays with Peter's truncheon again. Peter is very happy.
"Gosh, Grace," says Peter, "I am very happy. Are you very happy?"
"Yes, I am very happy," Grace says. Grace is happy because Peter has a big truncheon.
"That is good," says Peter, "I am glad you are happy as well."
Grace likes to pretend that Peter is a bouncy castle. Grace likes bouncing up and down on Peter.
Peter likes Grace to bounce up and down on him.
Peter and Grace are out of breath because they have done so much bouncing.
Peter is happy. Grace is happy.
Grace says, "Oh, dear. I cannot find your handcuff keys, Peter."
Peter is cross.
- the end -
