Title: Decembrist
Fandom: Kantai Collection
Genre: Historical, Angst
Focus: Hibiki/Verniy
Comment: Expect lots of feels, history rarely has a happy ending. Also, hope for some constructive reviews
Weapons of war.
That's the way we are intended to use, that's what we will always be.
"Destroyer Hibiki is damaged!"
We have no feelings, no opinion, nor constitutions
Our purpose is only to be used, by our creators, our owners.
To sink others. Our enemies.
Until we ourselves are sunk.
"Hibiki, are you alright?"
What I hear, what I feel.
"I'm alright Ikazuchi"
Is no one's concern.
Yokosuka, July 1942.
I sat alone
Watching over this supposed metallic body of mine.
I don't know why I am conscious, nor why am I aware.
I'm supposed to be only a destroyer.
A ship, a weapon. A non-living being
The workers scramble as they repaired the damaged parts of mine.
"Hibiki!"
Akatsuki came to me, always appearing out of nowhere.
"Akatsuki, why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be with Inazuma and Ikazuchi patrolling Kiska?"
"My commander has ordered my crew for maintenance"
"…I see"
Last month, our commander has apparently won a campaign and attained new territories at the north.
Although they also have lost huge casualties in the southern campaign.
A huge number of ships have sunk.
And they said to be important ships with high capabilities.
"I wonder if we'll sink as well"
Hearing my exclamation, Akatsuki unexpectedly laughed
"Hehehe, Hibiki" she smiled at me, always looking satisfied "You're unexpectedly pessimistic".
"I'm just wondering…."
"Well, it's just a matter of time" she exclaimed "Either if it's tomorrow or next year, or even 50 years, if it's time to sink, then…we sink"
"…you're taking this quiet lightly, Akatsuki"
"Well of course I'm not going to sink easily!"
"You trust our commander a lot, do you?"
"W-well, of course we have to trust him" she flustered "He supposed to be competent after all!"
"…that's right"
We are in the same division, after all.
Akatsuki, Hibiki, Inazuma, Ikazuchi.
We both had participated together ever since the start of the war.
As they are my sisters.
"Also, I've been assigned to escort Zuihou-san and Unyou-san with Ikazuchi!"
"I see.…"
They probably had already been assigned on new missions.
While I'll still have some repairs to do. Which means it still a long time till I can sortie again.
"You won't be lonely, do you?" Akatsuki tilt her head sideways as she stared at me being lost in thought.
"…I won't"
We aren't supposed to feel loneliness. We're just ships after all
"Don't worry, we'll definitely sortie together again"
"…That's up to the higher ups though"'
"We're sisters, of course we'll be together for most of the time."
Her pinky held mine as she swung my hand up and down
"It's a promise~"
I just smiled as she does that.
"Okay"
And that's the last time I'll ever see Akatsuki.
On November 1942, Akatsuki sank near Savo Island.
My elder sister….our eldest sister.
Ikazuchi and Inazuma cried as they heard the news…but I only felt numb.
Do ships really have emotions? Why are they crying? Will I never meet Akatsuki again? Is she lost forever?
I stared at the tip of my pinky finger.
The promise has never been fulfilled the sensation of Akatsuki swinging my hand…
And whenever we sailed together…
….tightens my chest.
"She sunk in front of my eyes" Ikazuchi muttered.
Me, Ikazuchi and Inazuma sat on the harbor, waiting for our maintenance.
"I was there with her…yet…"
"Ikazuchi" Inazuma muttered "…it's alright, it was sudden, it can't be helped." ".…"
Yes…nothing can.
It was a matter of circumstances.
It's a war. It's sink or be sunk.
That's the purpose of our existence.
"Hibiki…" Inazuma mumbled "Are you alright?"
A loss is inevitable… and yet…
Tear flows down my cheek.
"Akatsuki…"
I could feel Inazuma and Ikazuchi's warmth besides me.
"Hibiki…it's alright…"
Ikazuchi patted my head and smiled brightly.
Tears came flowing down her eyes.
"It's alright Hibiki…that's why…"
Let us work hard.
On that day, I cried for the first time.
...
May 1944
It was the usual escorting mission, the waters were calm and the weather was clear.
It was the usual.
It was supposed to be the usual.
"The hull of Inazuma has been hit by torpedoes! Three o' clock! The direction is 3 o'clock!"
A disaster right in front of my eyes.
Inazuma's metal body exploded right beside me, without any warning nor signs.
Inazuma just sat there, watching her own body sink.
She just smiled bitterly as her own body sunk slowly beneath the abyss.
"Bring out the life vest! Save the survivors!" "The captain! The captain is not here!"
I just stood there, without any emotions.
"Hibiki-chan"
She smiled at me warmly.
"Are you sinking….Inazuma?"
"Yes, it seems"
"You don't look scared nor angry."
"…of course I am"
This is war after all, this is supposed to happen frequently.
I already saw a lot of other ships sink in front of my eyes. Allies and enemies alike.
It's already been our destiny.
"I'm sorry for going first, Hibiki"
"Why do you look satisfied?"
"It's because…." she smiled at me "I've saved a lot of people, even when I'm supposed to be a weapon to destroy"
"Thanks for saving my crew, Hibiki…Take care of Ikazuchi-chan, okay"
She disappeared into the ocean
And another sister of mine was sunk.
In the end, as I've went back to the main base, I've never met Ikazuchi.
She already sank in another operation.
And I became the only survivor of my class.
Even when I've never done as much as my sisters, since I always get damaged and get repaired in the docks.
The title as a phoenix isn't really for show after all. It's a proof of my uselessness
And then I was assigned on home waters.
Sitting on the ocean. All year long.
Just sitting on the ocean.
Never to be commanded.
And all of a sudden, they sent me north.
All up north.
Never coming back.
And it was at that moment that I realized.
That I'm really are alone.
And that...
It's alright to be alone
They've changed me into Verniy
These strange people, they talk different languages and look so different from my commanders.
"Faithful", they say the meaning of my name.
I don't know why would they name me that, nor do I know what they want to do with me.
I don't know if I have faith in anything, nor would I know if they have faith in me
But I know… that my old commanders doesn't need me anymore.
And these people need me.
And without me knowing, I've assimilated myself to these new employers of mine.
1953
I was finally retired from service, knowing that my role has been irrelevant.
My identity has changed
First as Verniy, then as Dekabrist.
Time moves on, as I lost my purpose, as the day of me being scrapped is imminent.
As I closed my eyes.
Akatsuki, Hibiki, Inazuma, Ikazuchi
Those names resounds in my head.
As the time for me to exist to is about to end.
I raised my hands to the sky, the sounds of my hull collapsing.
As I stared at the tip of my pinky finger.
I felt a warm sensation on the tips on my hands, as if someone's holding it tightly.
Akatsuki, Hibiki, Inazuma, Ikazuchi
Just for once, I hope the four of us…
To be together again…
