Act one, scene one
Loud booming voice: Its was a stuffy Sunday night and Ronald Weasley had left his homework to the last minute...again.
Hermione: Ron! Pay attention!
Loud booming voice: Hermione was...er helping him.
Harry enters stage.
Harry: tsk, tsk, tsk. Not done your homework again?
Ron:I-
Hermione: Yes! I can't believe him! Mark my words, he's going to be left behind!
Ron: Am-
Harry: Even I did my homework!
Ron: but I was-
Hermione: Harrassing Crooshanks! Grow up! Poor cat...
Ron: poor cat? Crooshanks...Poor cat?
Hermione: Yes!
Ron: Now look here-
Harry: You guys! Shutup!
Hermione: He's right! Ugh! Ron! You did Questions One to Five hundred and seventy three wrong! It said 'Quak the Quick'! Not 'Stak the Stick!'! Do it again!
Loud booming voice: and then...Ron had enough!
Small guitar solo starts playing
Ron:
I asked for her help, It was a Sunday night.
I got Pig, to get the feeling right.
We started working, Damn that idiot, Snape!
But then I kicked Crooshanks,
And thats about the time she-
Loud band starts playing
Ron:
-yelled at me.
Nobody likes you when your seventeen.
And are still attached to Fluer Delacour.
What the hell is ADD, Harry?
Harry: Like I should know,
Ron:
Whats my age again?
Whats my age again?
Loud booming voice: Ron jumps on table and does this weird sort of jig.
Dean, Seamus and Lavender enter stage
Ron:
Then later on, on the Knight bus,
I called his aunt, from the fellytone.
I said I was Sirius and I'd be dropping by,
Im gonna curse you for being mean to Harry.
And thats about the time that aunt hung up on me,
Nobody likes you when you're seventeen.
And are still amused by Weasley Wizard Wheezes.
What the hell is callers I.D, Harry?
Harry: Your askin' me?
Ron:
Whats my age again?
Whats my age again?
Parviti enters and does solo on piano
Ron:
And thats about the time she yelled at me,
Nobody likes you when your seventeen,
and you act like first year.
What the hell is wrong with me, Harry?
Harry: (under Hermione's glare) Now, I really dont care-
Ron:
Thats about the time she yelled at me,
That makes the total fights five thousand and three,
With five hundred years to fall in line,
Would you wish that on me?
Proffesor. McGonnagall enters stage
Ron:
I never want to act my age!
Whats my age again?
Loud booming voice: then he spots the old woman.
Proffesor. McGonnagall grabs his hear and pulls Ron out of the common room.
Ron: (whispers) Whats my age again?
Proffesor. McGonogall: Old enough!
Ron gulps
