I have my reasons for doing this.
Aside from a nostalgic interest in Teen Titans itself, I still feel bad for leaving this series unfinished. This is done partly to get closure on that, because it still nags me to this day. Also, I recently re-read the original story, and was appalled at how I ever considered that passable writing. As such, I decided to go back and completely re-do everything, removing the OOC-ness, the absurd author's notes/interjections, the plotholes, the spelling/grammatical errors, the MacGuffins, and hopefully raising it to a higher standard in general.
I've also found it difficult to concentrate on writing my own, original pieces. This is a way of measuring my own writing ability--a then vs. now thing--before I really commit. Sad to say, "Carson" and its sequels are still the best examples of my writing out there. If it's to be that way, then I'd rather they at least read better than they used to. I'd also like to get a better handle on my OCs, especially Carson and Cassius Pavayne, in the hope of someday using them in my own works.
I've already removed certain scenes and chapters altogether for storytelling's sake. The original first chapter, for instance, is gone. But don't take my word for it. See for yourself.
The standard disclaimers apply. Note that, yes, this is going to be BB/Rae, as was the original and its successors.
The door to the living room slid open with a soft, but audible, whir. In stepped Beast Boy, his eyes quickly adjusting to the otherwise impermeable darkness enveloping the room. It was a moonless night, the sky shrouded in a thick layer of clouds.
It was four fifteen in the morning, and Beast Boy was restless. Having once again tossed and turned in bed for the better part of the night, he'd once again decided to take a quick walk around the tower, in hopes of clearing his head. About halfway into his circuit, it once again occurred to him that the GameStation wouldn't be in use at this late hour, and he'd once again eagerly made his way to the living room, intending to vent his negativity on computer-controlled swarms of alien invaders. But now that he found himself there, Beast Boy found that, once again, he had lost all interest.
This was a phenomenon that was all-too common with him lately.
Instead of leaving the room, however, he continued his walk along the room's perimeter until he came to the front window and its normally spectacular view of downtown. Tonight, however, a heavy layer of fog hung over the bay. The lights of downtown peeked through the mist, but the city itself was hidden from sight, and what light there was could not illuminate the room he was in.
But the unyielding darkness was soothing to Beast Boy. The stillness of the scene allowed him to find his center, to focus his thoughts. In his mind's eye, a blonde-haired teenage girl materialized. He tried to picture her smiling at him, but his mind did not comply. She hated him, he knew that much, and he would never see her again. And this was how he was doomed to always remember her--face alight with fury at his perceived betrayal, eyes red with barely-suppressed tears.
"But I didn't tell anyone," he whispered to the night. "Why wouldn't you listen to me?"
"She never seemed particularly stable," said a voice from behind him. He jumped, caught completely off-guard by the unexpected company.
"You can relax." And he did; as the voice began to register, the sudden tension ebbed away, and the fight-or-flight reflex with it.
"Raven... you scared me," Beast Boy said shakily, voice cracking on the last syllable. He swallowed hard, and silently ordered his vexingly pubescent vocal chords to function properly. "Um... what are you doing here?"
"Meditating, before you barged in. Just as I was last night, and the night before." Raven replied, rising from her seat on the couch and moving to join him. "It surprised me that you didn't notice I was here on the first night, but now I understand why." She spoke directly to him, yet her gaze never wavered from the far side of the bay. "You were too preoccupied thinking about her."
Beast Boy turned to face her, but she kept her eyes on the city. She almost never looked him straight in the eye. Why is that? "Yeah. She..." He could hardly get the next words out. "She wouldn't even let me explain, Raven. She just left." He sniffled. The tears hadn't come yet, but he had faith that they'd make an appearance. "She hates me. There's no way she doesn't."
Raven was silent for a moment and Beast Boy doubted that he would get any reassurance from her. She surprised him, however. "Terra...clearly has something she needs to work through," said Raven, her tone diplomatic and her words carefully chosen. "Trust issues that run far deeper than you--than we can guess." Her head turned just enough so that she could meet his gaze, once again surprising him. "Give her time. I'm not saying it's for certain, but she may come back one day."
"And if she doesn't?" Beast Boy asked. His tone was practically pleading for something concrete, but Raven would not indulge him.
Her head turned back to the far-off city. "Then she doesn't. Life will go on, Beast Boy, with or without her. The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be."
Beast Boy sighed, tearing his gaze away from his blue-cloaked teammate and resting his forehead against the window. "That's not exactly what I wanted to hear, Raven."
"No, it wasn't," Raven conceded. "But it's what you needed to hear."
They were silent, as Beast Boy contemplated this. Raven was right; he was young, and there were plenty of fish in the sea. But Terra was special, made him feel worthwhile. Valued. Terra was someone he could see himself with, someone who would care for him, nurture him. And he could think of nobody else who met that description.
In his peripheral vision, he saw Raven's cloak rustle as she shifted her weight uncomfortably.
"Hey...Raven?"
"Yes?"
"Are we..." He was vulnerable, pensive and introverted right now, and could not think of a single valid reason as to why he was asking this. "Are we friends?"
He couldn't bring himself to look at her, and focused instead on the condensation forming on the window with every exhaled breath. Beast Boy regretted asking, couldn't fathom why he would throw such an absurd question at her. "I'm sorry, forget I said--"
"You're always trying to make someone laugh, to make their day worth getting out of bed over. Usually mine," she added wryly. "And you never stop trying, no matter what I say or do." There was warmth in her voice that he'd never heard from her before. "I'm glad to have you as a friend."
The warmth in her voice seemed to fill Beast Boy, relieving him of his troubles and fears. Truthfully, he'd known that Raven cared for him; his trek through her subconscious with Cyborg could attest to that. But he needed the reassurance. She seemed to understand that better than he did, and knowingly provided it. "Thanks. That means a lot to me."
"You're welcome." She swatted at his head playfully, and he smiled. "For future reference, Beast Boy, don't ask such stupid questions. If I ever stop liking you, then you can rest assured that I'll give you 24 hours' notice before declaring open war."
That didn't take long. He'd hoped the change in her behavior would last a little while longer, but she'd reverted to form without missing a beat. So much for a kinder, gentler Raven.
The alarm derailed his train of thought, shrieking rhythmically as a bright red strobe illuminated the room. "No rest for the righteous," Raven sighed, pressing a slender hand to her forehead. "There go my hopes for a peaceful morning."
"Uh...yeah, about that." Beast Boy raised his head from the window, idly tracing patterns in the moisture left by his breath with his fingertip. "Sorry. I know how important it is that you meditate all the time..."
"Oh, I meditated plenty before bed," she replied, talking over the klaxon. "And then for another half an hour before I came out here."
Beast Boy was flabbergasted. She'd lied to him! "Then what were you doing out here in the first place?"
The door at the other end of the room slid open once again. The klaxon and red strobe petered out, as the room's main lights blinked on, one by one. Robin stood at the door, wide-awake and dressed for combat, a grim expression on his face.
Beast Boy looked at Raven, not expecting a reply. She surprised him, however, for the third time that night, with a small half-smile that, for some reason, made his heart ache. "Waiting for you."
Seems a mite odd for the titular character to not appear in the first chapter, no?
The more I think about the story, and the direction it's going to take, the more I realize that neither Carson nor Beast Boy and Raven are the ultimate focus here. And that's how it'll be, at least until the revamped Ascension.
I'll post the next chapter once the third is done, and so on in that order. I hope you approve thus far.
