Prompt: Written as a gift to Chris_HeartBlack on Ao3.
Fluorescent lights of reds and blues and brightest whites flooded into the small apartment complex, loud music of some vaguely familiar artist shaking the floor and the world along with it. The air smelled of alcohol as did most of the occupants' breath, strong and sour and all the better on your tongue than flooding up your nose. He let the substance claw down his throat, burning as it sank and pooling in his chest, making him feel a kind of warmness that buzzed his insides.
Ben moved away from the drinks and deeper into the party, mass of people around him becoming another addition to his overwhelming sense of excitement. He had all the capabilities of happiness bubbling inside of him but without the actual contentment, emotions a whirl of crazy adrenaline strung together by light intoxication. Bodies pressed against his, some accidentally and some not, and he let himself get lost in the sensation of physical intimacy.
He saw Gwen's bright green eyes amongst the crowd, but only when they were a few inches from his face. Ben grinned at his cousin. "Great party!" He shouted, being heard over the noise, and his words sounded like a sentence that should be slurred but wasn't.
She winked at him slyly, taking his arm. Ben let himself be pulled through the mess of co-workers and college friends and neighbors, not recognizing most of their faces and names, but Gwen knew them all. In their small little town she seemed to have connections with everyone, and when Gwen Tennyson threw a party, nobody missed it.
The noise was still present but slightly full in his ears, Ben being dragged to the living room and farther away from the stereo. Gwen pulled him onto her leather couch, pushing him against it as if to make him comfortable. His cousin plopped down next to him, and she giggled at his attempt of raising his eyebrows and looking suspicious.
"What is it?" He asked, glancing around. A few faces nodded back at him, all spread around the quaint coffee table. The thing had more chips in its wooden surface than he had freckles spread across his cheeks, and the flashing lights overhead cast the table's shadow across the floor and shined across its polished surface.
Gwen had the kind of mischievous smirk tugging against the edges of her lips that gave him a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. She held up a finger, telling him to wait, before taking off. Ben rolled his eyes. He came here to celebrate New Year's Eve, sure, but he much rather do that with drinks than people.
Julie Yamamoto's face looked him up and down shyly, and Ben caught her in his gaze. He let her look, almost flattered and completely unsure. Ben had ditched his normal grey hoodie and worn jeans for a loud green shirt and tight pants, hair a ruffled mass of brown on his head, and he tucked a tuft of it behind his left ear and tapped his foot nervously.
She looked absolutely beautiful. Her black hair was cut short and styled straight, gorgeous brown irises glimmering. Ben blinked owlishly at her before looking away, and the couch shook slightly as someone else took a place on it.
An arm was draped across his shoulders, and Ben cocked his head at the guy pressed against his thigh. Kevin didn't pay him any mind, sending a suggestive look at Julie as he popped Ben's little bubble of self-esteem, and he was suddenly too sober for this shit.
Gwen was there before he could cease to be. In her hands was an empty beer bottle, stained glass having the same sense of fragility as the human soul. She placed it on their crappy coffee table, lying it on its side, and Ben saw the game for what it was.
"You brought me here to play-"
"Spin the bottle?" Julie interrupted, and Ben let his complaint stutter in his throat. "God, it's been a while."
"No kidding," Kevin snorted, and Ben stiffened as if he had forgotten that the adult was there. Admittedly, he hadn't forgotten for a picosecond. "Gwen, you gotta have something better than that."
Ben would much rather prefer the bottle filled. "I think I should go," he said. The company was unpleasant, the party more like some scene at a (albeit cheap) nightclub, and the festivity had died as soon as Kevin Levin decided to strut through his cousin's apartment door.
Said man chuckled. "Course you do," he remarked snidely, the right corner of his mouth lifting in a mocking smirk. Ben shrugged his shoulders roughly, forcing Kevin's arm to lift from its place, and the smirk dropped.
"What's that supposed to mean?" The line was as cliché as it was unintimidating, and even Ben wasn't impressed with himself.
Kevin rolled his eyes. "You were always such a nerd in school. No time for any fun, sticking to the rules. No wonder you got picked on so much."
Ben's scowl grew a bit darker at every claim. "Sorry I actually have a life," he snapped. He didn't know why Kevin made it seem as if the black-haired boy himself hadn't been his only bully. He had been the teenager that made Ben's days worse in high school, always calling him a fag and trying to beat him up. He had thought he'd gotten away from that since graduation. "I've got rent, a job I need to show up to sober-"
"Then why come in the first place?" Ben was all too aware of their audience, and he could catch glimpses of Julie's watchful eyes in the very edges of his peripheral vision. "You know what goes on at these parties. Or, you should, anyway." Kevin stared him down with coils of fake pity in his gaze that twisted around his black irises. "I mean, the only reason you're invited is because your cousin is the one throwin' it."
Ben willed himself not to take the bait. He felt like he was fifteen again, getting pushed around by the taller male, never able to get back. But this wasn't high school anymore. He was an adult, he had grown up, even if Levin still had the maturity of a two-year old. Obvious troll was so fucking obvious, and Kevin had mastered the finesse of screwing with people a long time ago.
"Spin it," he called. There was a small bubble of silence that trailed after his words, and in that few seconds he felt the tiniest spurt of fear pop into his heart. Had he done it wrong? Then Gwen seemed to register his words, giggling with barely contained mirth, and Kevin blew out a long whistle of appreciation that strangely caused his cheeks to burn in a blush.
Some people cleared at his words, and Gwen let them, now holding the infamous bottle in her hands. Her fingers criss-crossed along the fragile span of glass, nails freshly manicured and painted a bright magenta that poked holes in his vision. She set it back down again, and the thing thunked slightly against the oak of the table, sound snipping at his ears like a warning blare.
He supposed it was too late now. Julie had already shoved it along, and the object was on its way around the wheel of destruction. The tip of it swung at them threateningly as it passed, and it was this time Ben realized a sixteen ounce glass bottle full of air would decide the fate of his life.
It lost its momentum and skidded to a rest at his cousin. The redhead looked surprised and almost pleased, and it was her pinky finger that set it off once more. It was less of a surprise when it landed on the blonde guy next to her, but Ben wasn't interested enough to be suspicious.
She grinned as Julie and Kevin put in their collective gasps, sticking out her tongue. Ben's own grin was more sly in nature. He knew the kid, Cooper, had him for a handful of classes back at college. The computer geek had developed the largest crush on his cousin, and judging by his wide eyes, it hadn't exactly faded back into the void of nothingness.
He didn't watch every move and twitch in the too-long span of seconds as his friends did, didn't witness the slowly drawing closer and the meeting of lips. Ben simply didn't have the patience for it, or the want to witness his family member make out with his buddy from school. He did notice when they were done, glimpsing the smudge of fruit flavored lip gloss left along the outline of Cooper's mouth, and then the bottle was off again.
It sped past Gwen and flickered to Julie before sprinting at the last second. The tip of the bottle landed on the one and only Kevin Levin, and the man merely smirked. He sent it spinning with a flick of his fingers, the glass sliding along the chipped wooden table, and the circle of death ended abruptly in a place Ben hadn't wanted it to go.
He hadn't truly been expecting the bottle to end at him- really, who would? Ben's cheeks brightened to a bright cherry red, mouth suddenly dry and tongue sour. He didn't dare glance over at the other beside him, focusing away from Gwen's interested gaze and instead on the floor. He wished he could sink under it, under the floorboards and keep going down, burying himself into the earth and even farther under. The devil was better company, and he rather be in hell than his cousin's party at the moment.
Maybe that was a bit of an over exaggeration, but that void of nothingness he had pondered on a minute before seemed like a nice vacation spot. He steeled his nerves, glancing over. Kevin was watching him, a sort of blankness cooling over his facial features that numbed any emotions Ben could have found. He seemed to be waiting, and if that was the case Ben would let him wait, because there was no way he was making any sort of first move.
The chanting of numbers came at them like an echo from switched on television. The group all turned, hearing the booming music turn down and make the atmosphere almost eerily silent if not for the blaring television. Ben recognized it as the firework show in Las Vegas waiting to happen, the news reporters counting off to the new year.
Ben felt a feeling clamor around his heart, but it wasn't quite fear or the anxiety he had dealt with growing up. It was a sort of adrenaline, and not the nervous kind, but the brand spurred on from excitement and determination. He looked back at Kevin, and found that the man hadn't taken his eyes off of the shorter. This time, though, he could see the invitation flickering in those black irises, eyes glimmering in a multitude of colors reflecting off the television lights.
"Well?" Kevin mouthed to him, and even in the darkness that came from someone switching off the overhead lights and lamps he could still make out the taller's lips. That determination in his gut boiled over, and he rushed forward.
It was a sloppy meeting of lips at first. Ben was never very experienced at the whole thing, not since Julie had kissed him a day before starting college. She had wanted to see new things beyond little Bellwood, and he supposed it was their failure at a long distance relationship that spurred her to meet her fiancé, a man that wasn't him. It hadn't been his first kiss but it had been his last, and he couldn't say he was completely over her.
This was different. This wasn't a peck on the mouth under a grey sky and the flowing petals of a cherry blossom tree. This wasn't a goodbye that was thought not to be their last. This was a beginning of something, and although he didn't know what, Ben did know it was more than just a dared kiss.
At first it felt closer then he had meant it to. He didn't really recall what he had been planning to do, couldn't think properly under the heat that stirred in his whole body. All he knew was the warmness pressed against his start of a smile, a pair of knees clacking against his own and hands he didn't know where to put. Kevin didn't draw back but pushed closer, and it was something between the lines of passion and need, not overstepping either side of the boundary but presenting both traits cleanly.
Ben drew a moment back for breath and then Kevin was on him again, and he found it was something he wanted more than he didn't. He found purchase for his hands slung over broad shoulders, fingers being tickled by the ends of raven hair. The silky strands felt soft against Ben fingertips, and he found Kevin's positioning of lips on his own more precise and easier to press harder on.
The blanket of numbing fantasy that had drifted over his senses came back like a snap of unwelcome reality. Ben drew back as if Kevin's mouth had the heat of a roaring fire, and found his cheeks held that sensation, burning up all over his face. The new year had been called a while ago, and as he gave a hurried glance over, he found his friends hadn't stopped staring since.
Ben didn't dare meet Julie's gaze, didn't want to see what had been hidden in it. Cooper looked a bit shocked, Gwen smirking in the way family does when they know something he never would. Ben felt a stutter rise up in his throat, voice streaming together to try to form a coherent thought, and then it all collapsed and he was standing.
If someone shouted for him to stop he didn't hear it, dashing through the dregs of the party. People had gone back to their dancing but he didn't feel that closeness before that came with being buzzed, only felt a sort of panic. His hand found the latch of the glass door in the corner and he flicked the lock and slid it open, closing it behind his back as he stepped onto the balcony.
Ben allowed himself a sigh of relief. The sudden drop of temperature washed over his skin, doing as good as a bucket of iced water to bring him back from a rage of emotions and settling him down. His heart's fretful pounding slowed, arms touching the cold metal of the balcony rail as he leaned forward on it. Ben breathed out again, tilting his head up.
Gwen lived in a downtown sort of area in their city, close to the college she still went to in her endeavors to get a decent degree, but even so there wasn't nearly enough pollution in the air to clear away the stars. Each one of them blinked at him, now, glimmering amongst the midnight canvas of a sky that seemed to stretch on forever. The moon was the brightest of them all but it was merely a crescent tonight, an imprint of something greater infused in Earth's extremely limited vision of the universe.
He heard the sliding back of the glass door and bowed his head down, wincing when it closed just the same. Ben glared at the dirty streets below, alleyway between Gwen's apartment and the next empty and darker than the empty space of the crescent moon. "Go away, Gwen," he snapped. "I just need to think."
"Wrong guess, Benji," Kevin mocked. Ben held down the happy bouncing of his heart. "I didn't know me and your cousin bared such a striking resemblance."
"Yeah, okay." It was the tone of defeat that filtered in his words. Kevin took place beside him on the rusty railing, but Ben couldn't tell if he gazed out at the silent streets like himself, or if his eyes were somewhere else. He answered the curiosity with a turn of his head, and found his green irises met by a darker pair.
There wasn't any streams of moonlight to shine on the side of Kevin's face like all the clichéd romance movies, but the taller didn't need it. His skin was an marble white that shone on its own, onyx eyes even more black against the contrast. His raven hair fell across his forehead cleaning and reached the tips of his eyelids, and Ben remembered how smooth they had felt under his touch.
"Like what you see?" Kevin smirked, and then it was gone. Ben narrowed his eyes at the taller.
"What did you come here for, Kevin?" He restrained himself from jabbing a finger at Levin's chest, settling for a glare. The other twenty-five year old took it all in stride.
"Whatever could you mean?" He imposed the question with an air of teasing. "Who else would I have come to this party for? Gwen told me you were gonna show up and I decided I had to be there. Unless you meant on this crappy patio. Then I suppose it's the same reason, huh?" Ben took this new information with a confused expression on his face.
He pushed out a sort of response. "What?" It wasn't the most eloquent of replies, but Ben imagined it had to count for something. Kevin rolled his eyes.
"You're slow, aren't you?" Kevin raised an eyebrow when he didn't react at the insult. "Of course, I guess I already knew that, after all those years in school trying to get you with me."
Ben wasn't quite prepared for this whole thing. "I don't understand."
"Obviously," Kevin tutted. "You were always such a nerd. I don't know what I saw in you. Must be the eyes," he noted, leaning closer as if to better see them. Ben stepped back. "Or maybe not," Kevin decided.
"There's better ways to ask someone out then picking on them everyday," Ben remarked. "Like, I don't know, actually being a man and asking them out."
"I don't know," Kevin snickered. "This seemed to work pretty well." Ben crossed his arms.
"And how do you figure that?" Kevin shrugged with a single shoulder, the movement easy and executed smoothly with an air of casualness Ben could never achieve.
"Well, that kiss back there seemed to make it seem like you have a thing for me."
Ben resisted the urge to smack Levin, and almost contemplated going back inside. Then again, the taller could simply follow him in and humiliate him there. And Kevin, as much as he hated to admit it, did kind of have a point. "So?"
"So," Kevin repeated, "are you free this weekend?"
Ben felt a bubble of hope burst inside his chest, overwhelmed with a mantra of affirmations chanting up a storm in his subconscious. "I hate you."
"I got that," Kevin said, and they both knew at this point it wasn't entirely true. "How about Saturday night?"
Ben gave up. "Okay."
"Okay," Kevin shot back at him, along with a more genuine smile he hadn't ever seen the taller wear, and their next kiss was better than the first.
