'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the pad,
not a creature was stirring not even my shit-eatting dad.
The socks were hung by the stove with such disgrace
you would think that we were the worst of the human race.
My brother was tucked snugly in his bed
while visions of hookers danced through his head.
And then I head such a noise it could not be missed
my first thought was 'man, mom's going to be pissed.'
Then through the door walked this lovely little whore,
and I knew I'd do again what I ended up doing before.
She knelt down on the ground and was just a little bit tight,
but for all that passion, I never could get her name right.
Then from above the stairs I saw such a bright light,
I pulled on my jeans and hollered "merry Christmas bitch, see you again next night!"
