the stars shine for us
a/n: thanks to andie for the prompts. i originally wrote one slightly shorter (and in my opinion better) than this but i deleted it by accident and am very very annoyed at myself asdf;akjdgfskj.
dedication: happy birthday, jordan (silent wreckage)! i hope you like it alsdkjfh you're awesome and have a great birthday and be happy and everything. -hugs-
prompts: i. melody :: ii. swirling :: iii. pancakes :: iv. forges :: v. laughter :: vi. stone
i.
The very first time that Silena Beauregard musters the courage to talk to Charles Beckendorf, it's the second day after the summer holidays. Most of the campers have just returned from home, Silena one of them. She misses the fun way the day goes by in Camp Half-Blood, doing the naiads' hair, swapping tales of the summer with her siblings, even the panic of not knowing what to do with a sword.
She doesn't actually know much about Beckendorf, despite stalking him - well, she prefers watching him closely - over the last few months, when he first arrived in Camp Half-Blood as a new camper, wide-eyed and wary. That was the first thing she noticed about him: he wasn't excited, or nervous, like most new campers. He was simply wary. Cautious. Like he was prepared for anything, and he wasn't going to let anyone or anything surprise him. All she knows is that he is a son of Hephaestus and that he is fifteen, a year older than her, and that he usually spends his time with his siblings in his cabin - or the forges - but her knowledge of him ends there.
She wonders, not for the first time, why this is so hard. She's Silena Beauregard, daughter of Aphrodite, after all. She's only fourteen, but she's supposed to be able to control boys, wrap them around her pretty, polished fingers -
This one's different. Silena isn't even sure if he's looked at her before.
She hums a slow melody under her breath, and walks toward him. He's sitting underneath a big tree, green with sunlight and swaying slightly in the breeze. This sets the scene well, Silena thinks. As she makes her way to him, she reminds herself: This will be easy. Boys are always so easy.
She crosses her fingers behind her back all the same.
ii.
His name is not Charles; that is the first thing he tells her. "My name is Beckendorf."
Silena finds this strange, and she tells him so: "But isn't that your last name? You're Charles Beckendorf, right?"
He looks up to meet her eyes, and she realizes that this is the first time she's seen them. He's always looking down. They surprise her; they're a bright blue colour. She expected brown, deep, swirling brown, just like all the heroes of her favourite stories, but this will do.
"Yes, I'm Charles Beckendorf. But call me Beckendorf." She shrugs, and doesn't ask why. He seems rather uncomfortable, having a sort-of conversation, and Silena notices him turning on her ever so slightly - oh well, she thinks. This is a start.
The conversation ends with the lunch call. Silena smiles a hesitant smile at her new friend, which he doesn't return. "See you, Beckendorf."
She still is curious about his name, though. The one person she knows him to talk to regularly is his half-sister, Nyssa, who is also Silena's age. Nyssa isn't exactly the closest of friends with Silena - in fact, Silena gets the distinct impression that she doesn't like her at all, from the scowls she sometimes shoots in her direction. But she can't imagine what it might've been that she'd ever done wrong to Nyssa.
"Nyssa?" Silena decides to ask her when they are supposed to be preparing for their sword fighting lesson.
"Hm?"
"Do you know why Charles calls himself Beckendorf?"
Nyssa grins. "Yep. He just thinks Charles is too common, too boring."
"...That's it?"
"Apparently so."
Silena shrugs as she tries to pull on her armor. She hates it, it's so hot and stuffy and un-stylish, but it isn't like she has a choice. "I think Charles is a perfectly nice name."
"So do I. Seems like everyone does except Beckendorf - Charles - whatever you want to call him - himself." She regards Silena closely as the daughter of Aphrodite struggles with her armor. "Were you the one who went to talk to him before lunch?"
"Yeah," Silena replies.
"That's good, I guess," sighs Nyssa. "Nobody seems to be really interested in making friends with him. He's a good guy, you know. A good friend. And -" She hesitates.
"What is it?"
"Oh, just ..." Nyssa looks slightly uncomfortable. "I don't think very highly of Aphrodite kids."
"Not many people do," Silena says with a shrug.
"No, like ... some of them I see pointing at Beckendorf and sniggering because of how burly and big he looks."
"Oh." Silena doesn't know what to say to this. "Is that why you never seemed to like me? Because I don't know Beckendorf well at all, but he seems like a decent enough guy."
"I guess you're better than I thought you were at first. Better than some of your siblings, anyway," Nyssa says grudgingly.
Silena rolls her eyes. "I get what you mean. I mean, I probably understand them better than you or any other non-child of Aphrodite, but some of them get a bit, uh, extreme. Ow, my hair!" Her armor has gotten caught. She untangles her hair with some difficulty. "Ugh, this will take forever to comb through."
Nyssa grins at her. "Still an Aphrodite kid after all."
Silena glares playfully at her. "My hair actually means something to me, okay?"
Nyssa has to laugh. She holds her hand out. "Friends?" They hear Chiron calling: "Oi, you two!"
It's a while before Silena manages to get her hand out of her armor. Chiron is ignored. "Friends," she says, shaking Nyssa's.
iii.
Over the next few weeks, she talks to him a bit more. She feels like she's being a bit desperate, but it actually is fun, talking to him. He doesn't say much, but when he does, he seems to say the most interesting things. I need to be like that, she tells herself. I need to listen more and only ever say good stuff, not meaningless babble.
But she can't resist it; her mouth works too fast for her to keep up with. Over those weeks, she learns a lot more about him than she'd ever have learned from stalking him - watching closely. She doesn't regret speaking to him. She now knows that he likes pancakes, orange juice, and food in general, but not chocolate. She hasn't asked why; she's got a feeling he's just going to shrug and look into the distance, like he sometimes does. She's okay with that.
(And anyway, what's the point in knowing why someone likes pancakes?)
A week after her first conversation with Nyssa - and she manages to maintain this unlikely friendship with the daughter of Hephaestus - she begins to notice: they do point at Beckendorf and laugh. And it isn't just Beckendorf; it's simply anyone who looks a bit odd or isn't interested in love. Romantic love, anyway. Their idea of love.
She wants to ask one of her siblings why, but she decides against it. She's lived with them long enough to know that they're going to come up with some answer like: "Oh, looks just say a lot about people. Like, I dunno," in a voice that sounds surprised that Silena even asked. The way they act about looks and love hasn't been questioned before by anyone, let alone one of their own siblings, who are supposed to understand what it's all about and join in the sniggering with them.
Silena is sure looks don't mean all that much. But she's a daughter of Aphrodite, and she's supposed to just live with it.
It doesn't mean she likes the way her siblings laugh at Beckendorf. She doesn't like it at all. But she isn't one of the older ones in the cabin - at least not yet - and she's sure that they'd just smile and shake their heads at her, like "She'll understand one day."
But she's sure she won't.
So nothing changes between Silena and her siblings, although she gets the feeling that Nyssa is expecting her to say something to them. I will, she promises herself. Just not now. Not yet.
Meanwhile, she continues spending time with Beckendorf before lunch and whenever they're free, asking each other mundane questions and teaching each other lots of useless things - Silena shows him how to tell the difference between chocolate by smell and Beckendorf teaches her some magic tricks he's picked up from his mortal uncle.
Silena has decided that she likes this son of Hephaestus. She's glad that she decided to talk to him the other day - and not in the classic Aphrodite way of talking to the opposite sex, with lots of flirting and winks and hints. Sometimes, friendship is all you need.
iv.
It's about four weeks later when Silena realizes he hasn't ever shown her the forges. Beckendorf spends all his time there - and the only thing he talks really animatedly about is his metalwork.
She doesn't say anything at first; after all, she doesn't really have much of a right to go to them. She's just a daughter of Aphrodite, after all. She's been there once before, when she just joined Camp Half-Blood. She can't remember much of it.
Eventually, though, she decides to drop a hint; after all, she's one of his closest friends.
(Well, maybe more than a hint. She is a daughter of Aphrodite, and subtlety isn't really a strong point of hers.)
"Ch - Beckendorf?" She still finds that name odd. Beckendorf. It doesn't roll of her tongue the same way Charles does - or Charlie. But she bears with it. "Beckendorf, what do you make in the forges? Do you think I could see them?"
He shrugs. It's a breezy day, and the sun is being lenient on the campers. It isn't too harsh, but it shines with just enough warmth. It's just after lunch, and they're under that big, swaying, tree, just like they always are.
"I make, well, weapons, I guess. Shields, too, sometimes. Things made of metal, for when - if - we go to war."
There's a silence for a while, then Silena says: "Could you show me them? Your weapons?"
"I guess I could," replies Beckendorf, and he flashes her a rare smile. She can't help but grin back. They get up together and walk in the direction of the forges (sword fighting is in fifteen minutes, but who cares?), with Beckendorf leading the way.
"Mind your head," he warns her as they descend the stairs down to the forges.
As soon as they get in, Silena is overwhelmed with the stuffiness of the place. This is definitely the one thing about the forges that is burned into her memory: how hard she imagined - and imagines - working in them to be.
"Hey, Silena." Silena looks up and sees Nyssa grinning at her through the dirt and grime on her face. "Hi, Beckendorf."
"Hello," Silena replies, but Nyssa doesn't hear her. She's gone back to welding some metal together. The noise levels are astoundingly high to Silena, but Beckendorf and Nyssa and the two other children of Hephaestus seem to be used to it. They aren't even wearing any protective gloves, or glasses, to Silena's immense surprise. How do they stand the heat? She supposes the children of Hephaestus must be somewhat more resistant to fire than other demigods.
"Hey." Silena looks up and sees a son of Hephaestus grinning at her. "'Sup?" Another kid snickers and punches his brother on the arm. Silena has never seen them before.
Beckendorf rolls his eyes. "Jamie and Louis. Ignore them."
"This is my table," Beckendorf tells her proudly, switching on the harsh fluorescent light above his working area (bad for the eyes, Silena thinks as she gazes warily at it). Beckendorf starts to show her all the things on his table - all the different ways to make weapons, the difference between making a sword and a dagger, his favourite and least favourite things to make (spears and large shields respectively), and things about the forge and the daily lives of the children of Hephaestus that Silena would never have thought she'd be interested in.
It surprises her a bit, how willing Beckendorf is to talk to her now. Maybe it's because this is something he's passionate about. Maybe, dare Silena imagine, it's because he trusts her.
The conversation flows easily. Definitely more so than when Silena first tried to talk to Beckendorf. She asks questions and he answers them without hesitation.
"Do you like them?"
Silena raises her eyebrows. "What, your stuff?"
Beckendorf grins. "Of course, what else would there be in here to like? My face?" He says it jokingly, but Silena clears her throat, uncomfortable. She opens her mouth to tell him that she thinks he looks perfectly fine, but decides against it.
"Um ... yeah. I guess. I mean, they're pretty ... pretty." She smiles at Beckendorf, but he frowns, looking frustrated. The smile slides off her face.
"I mean they're really nice. And I bet they're great in battles," she adds hurriedly, speaking loudly over the noise that Beckendorf's siblings are making. She trails her fingers over a Celestial bronze dagger, then looks up at Beckendorf. It doesn't seem like that's the answer he was looking for.
"It's not ... It's not really about how it looks. It's definitely more about how practical they are, but ..." He turns a penetrating gaze on her. "It's more about its history. How much effort it took, people took to get the Celestial bronze, How much work that was put into making it come together. And what it will be. This could be the dagger that stays with someone through their whole lives." He picks up the dagger that is under Silena's fingertips. "Definitely not about how it looks."
This makes Silena think. Is she really so much like her siblings - the ones who laugh at the 'uglier' kids - in that she judges even a simple dagger by how it looks? The thought troubles her.
"Oh." She realizes she hasn't said it loud enough: "Oh. I think I get it now."
A smile spreads across Beckendorf's face. "Good." He turns back to his working table and sets the Celestial bronze dagger down, and Silena thinks she really does see the real value of the weapon - how much some person, somewhere, cared enough to get the Celestial bronze out of the earth, how much time Beckendorf spent putting everything together, and how it would save someone's life, one day. It's not about how it looks at all.
"I do see it," she tells herself in a hushed voice.
"What's that?" Beckendorf says - well, yells, really.
"Nothing," Silena replies, grinning.
"Hey, Silena?"
"Yeah?"
Beckendorf hesitates. "Well ... would you like it?"
Silena's eyebrows shoot up. "The dagger?"
"No, my face."
Silena's mouth is frozen in a half-smile. "No, really? You're saying I can have the dagger? This one?" She points at the same dagger Beckendorf had just set down. He picks it up again and holds it up to her.
"Yes. You should have it."
A wide smile spreads across Silena's face. "Yes. Yes, thank you!" She throws her arms around him in a big hug, and it takes him a few seconds for him to loosen up and embrace her as well. His body is big, warm and comforting.
"Ow," Beckendorf says after a few seconds. "Ow, let go."
"What's wrong?"
"You poked my back with the dagger." But he's smiling. Silena still looks concerned. "It's alright, it didn't draw blood or anything."
"Good, then."
"... Should we go now? You've got sword fighting pretty soon."
"Yeah. I guess we should," Silena says reluctantly, still a little breathless. As she walks out, she notices Nyssa winking at her and mouthing "Good job."
Beckendorf takes her hand and leads her out.
She feels a very very very faint flush creeping up her cheeks as she walks out of the forges.
v.
After dinner, on the night when Beckendorf gave her the dagger, Silena returns to her cabin. She's bursting with excitement. She's sure her cabin mates won't be very happy with her being so ecstatic about a weapon, but she is.
"Hi, Lacy!" she says to her favourite little sister, seven-year-old Lacy Andrews. "Hi," Lacy replies. "Hey, everyone!"
Everyone shoots Silena a half-smile and return to whatever they were doing before.
"Guys," she says, taking out her Celestial bronze dagger. "Look what Charles Beckendorf gave me!"
There are about ten people in the cabin with her. Lacy looks at the dagger in awe. "It's pretty."
Silena feels slightly disappointed in her sister, but she can't bring herself to explain the whole it-isn't-about-looks thing to a seven-year-old. "Yeah, it is."
"That's awesome, Silena," giggles Hannah, nudging her twin sister, Hayley. "Lovers," Hayley coughs, and she and Hannah collapse into giggles on their bed. Silena ignores them. They are nice sisters, though sometimes annoying.
"Great, Silena," says Claire, the cabin's head counselor. "Just awesome." She mimics Hannah and Drew Tanaka, a new girl two years younger than Silena laughs.
Claire grins. "Just awesome," she says again, and Silena frowns at her. Three more of the children of Aphrodite laugh with Drew. "It's so romantic, isn't it, the ugly boy gives his girl a pretty knife?" The sound of their laughter grates on Silena's nerves, and she has to remind herself to keep calm.
"What's with them?" questions Lacy as she feels Silena's happiness melt away. "Silena?"
Silena sighs and pulls Lacy up to her bed with her. "They're just stupid, Lacy," she tells her in a low voice. "It doesn't matter if he's ugly."
"But mom is the goddess of prettiness," Lacy argues, and Silena smiles wearily.
"She is, that's right, but not just that. She's the goddess of love, too."
"Love is prettiness."
"No, it isn't," Silena says gently. "Love is on the inside. It's not really about how it looks."
"Oh." Lacy is quiet for a while. "So do you love Beckendorf even though he isn't pretty?"
Silena hesitates just for a heartbeat. "Yes. Yes, I do."
vi.
Silena and Nyssa are having a sword fighting lesson together. They sit on a bench, waiting for their turn to go up against someone and watch Clarisse pulverize a son of Athena. A daughter of Apollo warily faces her - Clarisse - but Silena isn't so worried about them.
"Nyssa, I talked to my siblings yesterday."
"Oh?" Nyssa turns her head to face Silena. "What, about you hugging Beckendorf?"
"Oh my gods, Nyssa, it was just a hug!" Silena protests, but Nyssa smirks. "And no, it wasn't about the hug. I showed them the dagger he gave me."
"How romantic."
"Funnily enough, that's kind of what one of them said, too." And she tells Nyssa about how Claire had reacted to it and what she'd said to Lacy afterwards.
Nyssa is silent for a moment. "Well, I'm glad you told Lacy what you told her. Us kids of Hephaestus don't need another Barbie or Ken laughing at how we look." She kicks a stone at her feet.
"I think you look fine, Nyssa."
Nyssa smiles. "You're lying, but thank you."
"I'm not!"
Nyssa rolls her eyes. "Shut up. But Claire - that girl is really getting on my nerves. And Drew. She's only been in camp for what, two days? And she's joined the laughing Barbie club. Joy." She throws her hands up and her armor makes a scratchy-sounding noise. "Can't do much about that."
"They're just stupid, Nyssa," says Silena, using the same words she'd used with Lacy. "They only get half of what Aphrodite is about."
"Are you sure Aphrodite's version of love is the same as you and mine?"
Both of the girls wince and the daughter of Apollo gets cut in the left leg.
"I ... I hope it is. It has to be. She is the goddess of love, and she's my mother. It has to be."
They sit in silence until Nyssa says: "Off-topic, but what is going on with you and Beckendorf?"
Silena smacks her face with her palm. "Gods, Nyssa!" She slaps her friend playfully on her arm.
"What? You and him, that isn't so far-fetched, isn't it? I mean, you've got all the charm that he's obviously attracted to -" Silena shoots her a glare "- and I don't know exactly what you see in Beckendorf, but you like him, I know." She continues to ignore Silena's protests. "You act differently around him than with other guys. With them, you just flirt and drop massive hints, but you're all cool with Beckendorf."
"Shut up," growls Silena.
"Make me."
The two of them stare at each other, unsure whether to burst out laughing or start arguing.
"It's on."
With that, Silena pulls Nyssa up on her feet. "Silena, what are you going to - ?"
"We're fighting this out, Nyssa," Silena grins. They're on the mat together now.
"It isn't your turn yet, girls," Chiron says.
"That's okay, we'll go first." Silena shoots a sweet smile at her half-brother, Mitchell, and a son of Demeter, who were the next in line. "I'm sure Drew and John - or was it James? Sorry, I'm sure Mitchell and James are fine with us going first." Mitchell shrugs and sits down, relieved, and James down the same.
"Alright, then," Chiron says, not used to his students - let alone Aphrodite demigods - actually wanting to go first.
Nyssa and Silena smile and nod slightly to each other. It's on.
a/n: omg this is actually fluff whut. i'd originally intended for it to be angsty tragedy with the whole silena's betrayal thing but yeah. also yes i hate the way it ended too but this is already late and maybe i'll edit it some other time. and yes writing about the meaning of love is very weird for a birthday present for jordan sorry the story just wrote itself. T_T i'm just as annoyed at it as you are.
i was going to say something about radiolab here but i remembered that this is jord's birthday present so.
/bombed
/dies
anyway thank you for reading this and you can leave a review if you want, but i'd love you 99eva if you did (THAT WAS A HINT HEM HEM). ;)
ALSO the title was yew and jordan's fault. /blames
