What I Really Meant To Say

It took me by surprise

When I saw you standin' there

Close enough to touch

Breathin' the same air

You asked me how I'd been

I guess that's when I smiled and said just fine

Oh, but baby I was lyin'

Misuzu gasped. Noticing him staring at her, she cursed herself to the lower parts of Hell. Since when did he come here? He walked over.

"So Misuzu how have you been doing?" he asked. Her heart froze.

"Uhh just fine, I'm fine" she answered then mentally slap herself, how could she just lie to him. She didn't even mean that. Her eyes clouded and She blanked out.

~ They always argued about something whether it be his tour, or when she had an intimate moment his damn bunny (Mr. Bear) would stare at her! Then she broke it off and walked out on him.~

"Misuzu?" he asked concerned. She blinked and stared at the pink bunny in front of her.

"I'm fine" she answered softly not truely trusting her voice because she knew it'll crack.

What I really meant to say

Is I'm dyin' here inside

And I miss you more each day

There's not a night I haven't cried

And baby, here's the truth

I'm still in love with you

(And, that's what I really meant to say)

Idiot, how did she always say stuff she didn't mean, She wasn't fine! Far from it actually. She was broken inside, dying from her own sorrow, but she'd never show it. She's been sperated for two weeks and so far she's cried herself to sleep every night. Nope how could she let anyone know that! Misuzu missed his smile, his touch, and his angelic voice so much. Everyday she cursed and punished herself even going as far as to cut her wrists. She was rushed to the hospital by her roomate. But she promised not to tell him or anyone. Misuzu knew it, her roomate knew it too. She still loved Ryuichi Sakuma.

And as you walked away

The echo of my words

Cut just like a knife

Cut so deep it hurt

I held back the tears

Held on to my pride and watched you go

I wonder if you'll ever know

"Ryuichi" she heard Noriko call. So that's why he was here. Ryuichi said his farewells and walked away. It took all she could to stop from crying. Misuzu cringed at the pain but she wouldn't let it show. Her stubborness and pride forbade it.

"Misuzu would you sing a song on the stage, I'll give you $20?" Dan her employer asks. She nodded and catched her breath.

~"OMG! Misuzu" Naomi screeched. She and her boyfriend Mr. K. grabbed Misuzu's collapsed form and dragged her to Naomi's car. She'd get yelled at for cutting her wrists later. They set her in the back and she shot off toward the hospital.

"Look what he's put her through, Look at her!" Naomi yells. Mr. K. calmly nodded.

"I know but we can't help her get over him" he says.

"Don't tell him!" Misuzu said surprised her weak voice held firm.

"Why?!" Naomi demands.

"I can't let him know he hurt me, It's weak" she cried out.

"Fine" Naomi huffs.~

What I really meant to say

Is I'm dyin' here inside

And I miss you more each day

There's not a night I haven't cried

And baby, here's the truth

I'm still in love with you

(And, that's what I really meant to say)

"Misuzu your on" Dan yells. She walked up on stage and started to sing.

"It took me by surprise,

When I saw you standin' there,

Close enough to touch,

Breathin' the same air,

You asked me how I'd been,

I guess that's when I smiled and said just fine,

Oh, but baby I was lyin" (She hoped he would get the message. She looked at him, staring into his gorgeous eyes.)

"What I really meant to say,

Is I'm dyin' here inside,

And I miss you more each day,

There's not a night I haven't cried,

And baby, here's the truth, I'm still in love with you

(And, that's what I really meant to say),

And as you walked away,

The echo of my words, Cut just like a knife,

Cut so deep it hurt,

I held back the tears,

Held on to my pride and watched you go,

I wonder if you'll ever know,

What I really meant to say,

Is I'm dyin' here inside,

And I miss you more each day,

There's not a night I haven't cried,

And baby, here's the truth I'm still in love with you, (And, that's what I really meant to say)"

"What I really meant to say

Is I'm really not that strong

No matter how I try

I'm still holdin' on"

(She was still holding onto him, his memory. She was weak.)

"And here's the honest truth,

I'm still in love with you,

yeah, that's what I really meant to say,

That's what I really meant to say,

Ryuichi That's what I really meant to say"

Misuzu finished and hopped off stage ducking into the back. Her heart beat rapidly.

"I did not just do that" she told herself.

"But you did Misuzu" his voice told her. She turned to face him.

"That's what I really did mean to say" she said.

"I know I could tell from your eyes" he says. Always around her he would act serious.

"I'm sorry" she apologized.

"I'll forgive you if you kiss me" he says and cornered her. She obliged happily. Breaking apart she snuck a glance at Dan and Naomi from the corner of her eye.

"No we won't allow you to cut yourself again" Ryuichi says.

"What?" She asked. He held up her wrist.

"Ehehehe right...Does Mr. Bear want a kiss too?" She asked as it stared.