Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Should've Seen it Coming
Summary: "NOW I KNOW WHY YOUR PARENT'S NAMED YOU SASUKE! SASUKE! A.K.A. SAS-GAY!" Sakura's pissed. Sasuke's depressed. And everyone else is in plain shock. "It's not true! I swear I wasn't looking at Itachi that way!" Sequel to Never Saw it Coming.
Sakura was glaring at her husband. She'd scooted all the way to the other side of the table to get away from him. She really should have seen this coming. Honestly, what man was as pretty as Sasuke and straight?
This make-up dinner was going a lot worse than Mikoto had planned. It was supposed to hold all of the awesomeness the one last month didn't hold. But no, this was, if anything a lot worse than last month's dinner.
Sasuke tried to get to Sakura but she skirted around the table and now their positions were reversed.
"Don't touch me." She practically snarled the words at him.
"Please, Sakura let me explain."
Sakura and Sasuke were practically oblivious to those surrounding them.
Itachi had long ago decided that the floor was the best place to laugh hysterically and Mikoto and Fugaku had wisely decided they wanted no part of Sasuke and Sakura's "Dilemma." They were in some closet, or more likely in their bedroom either making out or doing "The Naughty," as Sakura liked to call it.
.
One hour earlier.
.
Sakura and Sasuke entered her in-laws' house. It was a nice warm night and both were looking forward to the make-up dinner that Mikoto had promised would be better than the last, which was crashed by Karin. To both of their relief, when they walked in, they only saw Mikoto, Fugaku, and Itachi. Seems like the parents' threats had kept Karin away.
This was the most hated part of the evening for Sakura, because Fugaku was always indifferent, and Mikoto was way too strong for her own good. And then there was Itachi. And Itachi was…well Itachi was Itachi and there was nothing they could do to change that.
"No Karin this time, I see." Sasuke had said with a smirk.
"Shut up." Itachi had mumbled half heartedly.
Sakura, on the other hand, was offering to go help Mikoto in the kitchen, only Mikoto declined her offer this time around, telling her to relax.
This time her dinner would go without a problem.
Mikoto was determined.
Sakura, going back out into the family room, was met with an awkward silence.
"What?" She'd automatically asked, confused with the quiet.
But then again, she was in the Uchiha household.
"Nothing." All three men replied at the same time, obviously it was anything but nothing.
After all, they'd spoken a word. Not a grunt, but an actual word.
Well that and the fact all three of them were blushing.
Sakura narrowed her eyes. If they didn't want to tell her, that was fine. She was mature, unlike them.
Sakura had just sat down on the couch next to her husband when the door flew open. Literally. It ended up smacking Itachi, who had decided he needed a bit of fresh air, in the face.
And in ran the disaster that is known to be Karin.
"You know, I hear she's banned from three countries." Sasuke muttered to his wife, who nearly choked on air.
"Sasuke!" The fangirl screeched and ran towards the object of her affection. "Tell me it's not true!" The fat whore was looking at Sasuke, all devastated.
Karin seemed to have trouble remembering that it was Itachi she was currently into.
All in the room had to divert their eyes from the sweating blubbery mass that was Karin.
"The hell, Karin?" Sasuke asked, trying to shield his eyes and keep from being blinded.
Unfortunately, just then Mikoto walked into the room.
"Dinner's read-" The woman immediately cut off and screamed. "My eyes! I will never un-see this!" She tried to run from the room, but being blinded as she was, she ended up running into the wall and falling unconscious onto the floor.
"Mikoto!" Fugaku screamed, in agony over his wife's recent tainting. "You are unclean!" He would have gone over to his wife and dragged her into the shower to cleanse her of 'The Karin' but that would involve him opening his eyes and he couldn't risk himself like that.
He was more important than Mikoto. Besides, if he risked himself and got a glimpse of Karin then who'd save her? And more importantly, who'd save him?
No, he was content cowering in his chair, cursing under his breath. The broom was broken. He knew he shouldn't have gotten rid of that chainsaw.
"So is it true?" Karin prodded the younger Uchiha.
"Is what true?"
"The fact that you're gay, because, you can't leave me like this Sasuke! You can't! I don't know what I'll doooooo!" The big chunk of mass started crying.
"Why the hell would you think I was gay?"
"Because!" She sniffled. "Ami heard from Temari who heard from Tayuya who was spying on Kin who was having a conversation with Hanabi about how Hanabi was hanging out at her sister Hinata's house when you went over to visit with Hinata's husband Naruto and she saw you and Naruto hug, and then your brother came and you guys hugged him and she took pictures! And you squeezed each other and stuff…well she didn't get a picture of the squeezing but she got pictures of you guys kissing each other! That's enough proof!"
Sasuke was growing paler and paler.
Sakura was growing angrier and angrier.
Fugaku was…well he was knocked unconscious because of the fumes held in his chair…
"UCHIHA SASUKE!" Sakura had finally exploded.
"Um…" Karin was scared but before she could run out of the house screaming like a banshee, Itachi woke up.
"You!" He pointed to the red head. "You left! Why? Why did you leave me?"
Karin scoffed. "I like Sasu-cheeks over there better."
Itachi froze. His foolish little brother had finally beaten him.
"Noooooooo!"
"Are you done yet?" Karin questioned.
"No!" Itachi was pissed. "You know what? I don't need you Karin!" He went into the garage and grabbed an axe. "Muahahahahahaha!"
Karin was impressed. Itachi was a man now. Too bad he hated her.
Meanwhile, Sakura was crying hysterically. "I should have known! You're always hanging out with Itachi and Naruto!"
"Sakura!"
"No man as pretty as you could possibly be straight!"
Itachi had fallen on the floor. Currently he was laughing, his axe lay forgotten in the corner. So what if his sister-in-law thought he'd gone gay? At least she was torturing his little brother. How dare that fool try to beat him and get away with it?
Karin didn't understand what was going on, but she understood that it was torturing Sakura. So she just sat back and watched.
"NOW I KNOW WHY YOUR PARENT'S NAMED YOU SASUKE! SASUKE! A.K.A. SAS-GAY!"
This made Itachi and Karin wince. Ouch. That blow was low.
Sasuke had had enough.
"I'm not gay Sakura! I'm married to you aren't I?"
"That means nothing!" Sasuke reached for Sakura but she skirted around him, running to the other side of the coffee table in the family room. "Don't touch me Uchiha."
"Come on Sakura! It's not true. You know how much I hate Naruto and Itachi."
"I don't believe you!"
"It's not true! I swear I wasn't looking at Itachi that way!"
"You say that now, but what about when my back's turned, huh? I bet you two make kissy faces at each other!"
"He's my brother! That's incest!"
"See! They even have a word for it!"
At this point in time Mikoto and Fugaku had woken up due to all the screaming. Well, actually due to the fact they heard 'gay' and 'incest.' So Fugaku took the lead and did what any parent would do. He dragged Mikoto away. To the shower. So she would no longer be unclean.
Later they would deal with Karin. They would ignore the incest.
.
Present time.
.
"Come on Sakura." She, in return to his plea, crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. She'd gotten really good at the Uchiha death glare. She had lots of fangirls that she frequently practiced on.
"I'm not talking to the likes of you."
"Itachi, tell Sakura that I'm not gay!"
Itachi had scooted over to the opposite side of the room, probably to stay away from Sakura as well as Karin. Hearing his name, he looked up at Sasuke and smiled, "Brother, she has found out. I told you it would happen eventually. Why not admit it now? We can be together!"
Sakura practically dropped on the floor.
"Sakura don't listen to him! He's crazy! Remember it was Karin who told you that I'm gay! She obviously wants to break us up!"
"SO YOU ADMIT IT!" She was like a flaming demon. Her face was red and it looked like she would kill.
"WHAT? NO!"
There was a sudden thud and a cry of, "Mikoto you are no longer tainted!" that worried Sakura, but she decided to ignore it. (Sasuke had his own problems to deal with; he didn't need his parents' issues butting in.)
Sakura narrowed her eyes at the Uchiha; he was the reason behind her current head ache.
"Why the hell should I believe you?"
"Because I love you!"
That would have been romantic, and Sakura would have melted if the Uchiha hadn't jumped over the table and kissed her-momentarily distracting her.
"Believe me now?" He murmured in her ear.
"Mm-hmm."
"BOO!" Spoken by two people.
Itachi and Karin threw popcorn and pillows at the couple.
"This is not interesting."
"Sasu-cakes, you're supposed to love me now!"
Karin got up and stomped her foot.
Which caused quite a few things to fly. And break.
This also caused a half naked Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha to come running down the stairs with a fixed broom and a pitch fork that Mikoto forgot she had.
"Karin. You have disgraced your family." Fugaku began.
"We warned you." Mikoto ended.
"Now you must pay the price!" Both commanded.
And they chased her out of the house…well Mikoto did. Fugaku came back and looked at his son in the eye.
"Itachi. I warned you as well." He brought out the handcuffs.
.
Sakura and Sasuke watched as Itachi was stripped and thrown into a pit of his fangirls.
Unfortunately for them, Mikoto chose that time to come back.
"So. Have you two thought about what we talked about last month?"
"Mother, what are you talking about?" Sasuke asked, his teeth clenched.
"Grandbabies!" She said with a glint in her eyes. An evil glint.
Sasuke groaned. The torture would never end!
Well there it is. The sequel!
At least I updated something over spring break.
My excuse: My mother is evil.
Review!
I'll update everything. Promise!
