Title: Finding Faith

Chapter: 1 - Wasted Energy

RATING: T (I think.. Can never remember what these ratings should be)

Author: Jo Soulliere

Content/Pairing: Buffy/Faith

Summary: Buffy contemplates both the past and her feelings for a certain rogue Slayer. This is a one shot deal.

Disclaimer: I own none of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Characters or places. Most likely, I don't own anything else in this story either... only the creativity to come up with a new story... All the Buffy stuff belongs to Joss Whedon. Give him the Credit.

Author's Note: This takes place during season 7 of BtVS. If you read this, please take a moment to respond with any comments :) Thanks in advance.


Buffy stood in the doorway of her kitchen, leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed in front of her as she looked out across her backyard. It was late in the afternoon, the sky was a brilliant canvas of colors, in various shades of red, orange, and purple, as the sun slowly sat on the horizon. She stood watching Faith out in the yard leading the group of potentials through another drill, preparing them for their nightly patrol.

Buffy's green eyes were sparkling, and a small smile graced her lips as she stood watching the group of girls before her, running through their routine; as she stood watching Faith lead them.

She felt better somehow, knowing that the once rogue slayer was on her side once again. It gave her a sense of peace knowing that someone was there who could and would, watch her back. Someone who was strong and able to hold their own when it would count. Someone who wouldn't give up. She knew Faith would be able to protect each and every one of them, that she wouldn't give up, and at the very least, if she couldn't protect them, she would die trying.

There was a time not long ago that she wouldn't have held that much trust in Faith. It would have been a safe bet to say that she would have trusted even Spike more than her dark haired counterpart. But something in her had changed. She was different now, since she came back from L.A. Buffy could see it, she held more control over her actions. But she managed to somehow fight with the same passion and determination, with the conviction that she was going to prevail in the end, and that gave Buffy the hope and courage that she needed to keep going and not give up. It allowed her to believe that they just might be able to defeat the first.

Buffy sighed quietly as she continued to watch Faith. She could feel the nearness of the other slayer, even from across the yard. She could feel her senses reach out for the younger girl, wanting to be near her.

Buffy let her gaze fall to the ground as she found herself struggling to understand her emotions. It wasn't just the slayer in her that cried out to be near the dark slayer. As she stood there, she realized that it was her heart that wanted to be near the other girl as well.

She would never feel the same way, she couldn't. Buffy thought to herself, as a look of sadness washed over her face. After everything that's happened... after the things I've said and done... Buffy shook her head slightly as she tried to fight the tears that were starting to form in her eyes. After I stabbed her... There's no way she could ever want to be with me. I have to remember, the only reason she's here at all, is to help keep this apocalypse from happening.

Buffy looked up, startled to find Faith standing in front of her, eyeing her curiously. "Faith..." Was all she could allow to fall from lips. She glanced over Faith's shoulder and noticed the potentials clearing out of the back yard, heading toward the front of the house.

"Hey, B." Faith said as she slightly nodded her head at the blonde, still giving her a questioning look.

Buffy tried to swallow back the lump of emotion that she still felt in her throat. "Finished with them, huh?" She said still watching the other girls leave.

"Yeah, I told them to take a break before we head out." Faith said, cocking her head slightly to the side, as she watched Buffy. "What's up?" she asked, unable to ignore the sadness that she saw in the other girls eyes. She didn't think Buffy would tell her, but it was worth a shot.

Buffy tried to smile. "Not much. Just thinking about everything that's happened."

Faith smiled a little. "Yeah, a lot has happened in the past few weeks. Kinda makes ya wonder how the hell we're gonna get through this one alive, huh?" she said. "But, ya know B, there's not really anything you can do to change any of it, so it's kinda wasted energy to keep thinking about it, if you ask me. Just need to keep looking for a way to defeat the first, instead."

"That's a good point. But actually, I was talking about the things that happened between you and I... before." Buffy said quietly. She looked up into Faith's eyes. "I need you to know, Faith. I'm sorry for everything that happened. I never-"

"Hey! Like I said... wasted energy, B." Faith looked back into Buffy's eyes. "You can't change what happened. You can only try to make up for it now." Faith gave her a big smile and reached out her hand lightly resting it on Buffy's forearm and slowly slid it down her arm toward her hand.

Buffy's eyes closed as Faith touched her arm. She could feel the other girls energy tingling on the surface of her skin, could feel her skin crying out for more contact. Buffy slowly let out the breath that she realized she had been holding, as she opened her eyes and gazed back into Faith's deep brown eyes, as Faith stood there, still smiling at her. She could feel Faith starting to pull her hand away as it slid over her wrist and neared her hand. She felt Faith's finger tips slightly brush the back of her hand. She wasn't ready to lose that contact yet and without a second thought she lifted her hand catching Faith's in her own, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

For a brief moment the smile left Faith's face and confusion replaced it. As the reality of the situation sank in, her face lit up with the most beautiful smile that Buffy had ever seen. And in that moment Buffy knew, Faith felt the same way as she did.