My name isn't the important part of this story, because I have a lot of names.

The people call me a god, my mother calls me son, My father calls me Kal. I call myself Clark, Clark Kent. But they call me Superman.

*line break*

I slam the office door shut as the clock strikes eight AM. I adjust my glasses as I turn and walk towards my desk. It's a small cubicle in the center of a crowded room filled with restless souls who are working from nine to five to sustain a family, to pay rent, to save up from something better, or to find truth.

I sit down on my chair and flip open my computer. A brunette woman passes my desk and smiles at me. Her name is Lois, Lois Lane. The name is a bit cliché but she'll be the first to admit that. She's the hardest worker here and the smartest. Oh yeah she's a two time Pulitzer Prize winning author and if that wasn't enough she's the most beautiful women I've ever seen.

She's broken every single heart here, no one is brave enough to ask her out, because she's tore every poor soul to pieces when they've asked her. I've thought about trying but there's something that keeps me from doing that. My night job.

You know those old campy movies about some hero who can jump really high and is super strong? You know how he always changes in telephone booths? Well I'm not that guy. I change in a bathroom or my apartment. My underwear is not on the outside of my pants. I wear Under Armor briefs, their stretchy and comfortable and their not red. My suit is blue though, but more of a dark navy color. The S is dark red and there is not yellow on my suit.

What are my powers you ask? Well Even I don't know what they all are. All I know is, that I'm really fast, I can lift everything, I can see through everything except for lead, If I want to I can make my breath really cold or really warm, I can hear really well some would even say super well. Oh! Almost forgot I can shoot lasers out of my eyes too.

Yeah I'm pretty over powered. I've seen the message boards, I know how little trolls in their underwear sit behind a computer screen and say I'm too powerful, They call me one dimensional, they say I'm to moral whatever that means, they say I'm really cheesy. But I hope they know at the end of the day this really cheesy, moral, one dimensional, over powered guy, goes out every night and puts my life on the line so you can sit behind a computer and call me stupid.

It's alright though. I do have friends, though their few and far between. No one cares about me. No one cares about this reporter, they care about those billionaires, the attractive ambassadors and the people one magazine covers, but I like it that way.

I bury my head in a story about the Metropolis Metros falling to the Gotham Knights 43-42. I hear shouting and look up to see Lois yelling at some guy. I see her push him away and flip him off. I go back to my work as the hours drag on and on.

My day wasn't to eventful. Perry telling us to be on the lookout for stories about a mysterious bat who keeps breaking criminals bones and leaving them in a pool of blood. I don't like the idea of breaking some ones bones to make them talk. But I also know that I'm sure the "Bat" has different methods than I do, and I can respect that.

Five o clock fast approaches and I finish my story and submit it to the editor. I pick up my coat and computer bag and walk towards the Office door and towards the Elevator. As I walk out of the building I realize that I forgot my computer. Dammit! I think to myself, why the hell did I forget my computer? Oh well, I guess I'll have to go back up and get it, hopefully the door won't be locked.

I finally reach my office and thank God the door was open. I walk in slowly and grab my computer, but I can hear someone in the corner. I walk towards the noise and I see Lois angrily shoving papers into a folder.

"Dammit, Damn men!" She spat, "Why the fuck were they even born?"

I freeze, I've never seen Lois like this before, oh yeah I've seen her pissed but not this pissed. I slowly back away, I get about half way turned around when I hear her voice.

"Clark? Clark Kent? What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Well, I umm, I…I…I came to get my computer."

"I suppose you heard that." I nod my head. "Look I, I'm sorry Clark, I broke up with Brian and I'm just fed up with all these sleaze bags, all these guys are sleaze bags."

"Well to come to the defense of my fellow sleaze bags—

"Shut up Kent! You're the only one here who isn't a sleaze bag."

"Look I don't think everyone else is a sleaze bag."

"You're the only one who doesn't go home and jack off to porn, and then come to this office and hit on me like I'm some sort of slut," she spat, "You probably don't even know what porn is," she muttered.

"That's not True! I know what porn is!"

"What's a blowjob?"

"Umm, well ummm, Look I'd rather not talk about this—

"That's just it!" she yelled, "You're too decent, you're too good."

"I'm…Look you need a break, let's go grab some food and then if you want to talk about anything we can, I'm free tonight," I smile.

"Sounds good smallville."

"Dammit you found out where I'm from."

"I always knew," she smiled, "C'mon let's get out of here."

"Alright," I smile. Normally a night would end with me with my cape on. But right now my friend needs me and I guess Metropolis can fend for herself tonight, because sometimes being a hero isn't punching bad guys, it's eating Chinese takeout and giving a hug when you need too.