Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or anything in Rowling's lovely universe. If I did, the story would have ended with our favorite guy getting a happy ending. :)

Author's Note: If you disagree with my opinion that Marilyn Manson and Severus Snape look similar, I applaud your ability to think for yourself but you won't change my opinion so initiating an argument with me over it will not be a fruitful endeavor. Also, if you wish to share Snanger/Sevmione ship hatred, why are you even here? Insults or disparaging comments of this nature will be deleted/ignored. To everyone else, I hope you enjoy this little story that I could not get out of my head! :) Shout out to my beta Jeannie, who helped me improve this story in many ways.

"You're quite handsome, you know?" said Hermione Snape to her husband, looking up at him, as he entered her home office. It was a simple room with a pine, L-shaped desk, with one portion of the L against the wall while the other jutted out into the room. The portion against the wall held her computer while the other held parchment and ink pens. Quills were beautiful but pens had them beat in every department except for aesthetics. The floors were hardwood and the desk stood upon a deep red rug. The walls were white and held Hermione's law school degree as well as a few pictures of her and her husband.

"I am no such thing, I firmly believe you are afflicted with some curse on your vision or perhaps you need glasses. But it works in my favor." answered Severus Snape. He was dressed in his usual attire, all black robes and a frock coat with dragon skin boats. He leant down and kissed his wife on the cheek. She smiled up at him.

"One of these days I'll find a way to convince you that you're attractive." Hermione said, turning back to her work at the computer. She was dressed much more casually in dark jeans and a pink long sleeve t-shirt.

"I'll believe it when I see, but probably not even then. I'm off to work, I take it you're working from home today?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm supposed to help Ginny pick out decor for their nursery. I figured it would be easier this way rather than attempt going in to the office." Hermione said. "Although why she thinks I will be much use at picking colors or whatever else goes into it, is beyond me."

"Perhaps she simply wants moral support or a blunt opinion on the matter?" answered Severus cocking an eyebrow as he began to speak. "Either way, I don't envy you. I'll see you tonight, love." He leant in for a goodbye kiss, which she delivered.

"Thanks, I'm sure I'll manage. Love you." She said.

Severus strolled from her office to their living room where he flooed to work. Hermione got up and peeked to ensure he had actually left. She rushed back to her computer and relocated the screen she had previously been looking at before Severus interrupted her. She had some research to do before Ginny showed up.

"I don't suppose you could simply hex him into agreeing with you?" asked Ginny. She was wearing blue maternity robes and was pushing a shopping cart through the fabric aisle of a wizarding baby store. She paused to examine a pattern of flying broomsticks and tiny golden snitches, they moved as she watched.

"Unfortunately, no. Although I have been tempted. He seems convinced he would be a terrible father and also doesn't 'want to burden another with his looks.' I don't know how to convince him that neither of those things are true. I've been researching the psychology behind low self esteem but the only answer I could come up with was behavior modification. I've been trying it but the research indicates that it can take months to years. I don't want to wait that long." answered Hermione, a touch exasperated. She picked up fabric patterned in blinking and swooping owls.

Ginny glanced at the owl fabric and picked up another pattern with unicorns prancing around and shaking their heads on a pale yellow background. "Well, most men think they won't be good fathers. Harry is terrified and said he will ruin our baby. I told him that was a load of rubbish and if I heard him saying it again I would hex him. He certainly never said it again but I bet he still thinks it. What do you think of this one?" She asked holding up the unicorn fabric.

"Honestly, they are all adorable but those unicorns are quite lovely. We can probably find some matching paint or charm some to match. You could do a forest theme with a few other magical creatures. I think I saw some dragon fabric…" Hermione said as she perused the shelf. "Here!" She pulled a roll of fabric which had dragons flying about and blowing fire on a blue background.

"Oh that's wicked! Yes I love the idea of a magical forest, and Luna has offered to paint whatever we like. Now back to your husband problem, I think you need to find a celebrity or someone who looks similar to him that people find really attractive." said Ginny as she started towards the paint section of the shop. Hermione followed her over.

"I'm not so sure that will work, Ginny. He won't believe me if I just tell him he looks like someone lots of people think is attractive." Hermione stated, she began looking for greens, browns, and blues for the forest colors.

"Then physically show him, you will probably have the best luck with some sort of band. He kind of looks like he could be in a muggle rock band or something. Maybe take him to a concert to see women lose their shit over someone that looks like him." Ginny said placing several small paint cans of various colors. "I think that will be enough paint, if Luna likes one particular shade she can just charm the can to refill."

"That's not a terrible idea, I could potentially make it our anniversary date. Although it will have to be a surprise, he wouldn't agree to it otherwise. It might work like exposure therapy for phobias, one big exposure to shock the system." said Hermione. They both walked over to the checkout counter. Ginny began to lift her purchases to the counter and Hermione intervened to do it for her. "You should let me do that, otherwise I feel like my presence is pointless."

"Nonsense, you helped me pick a theme for the nursery." argued Ginny. "Besides, I need to get in as much time hanging out with you as I can before the baby comes. I'll probably disappear under a mound of diapers for a year and a half."

Hermione couldn't argue with the diapers bit. "Well I'll still come see you, I can't wait to hang out with you and the baby. It will just be a little different, we will have a tiny audience to our chats."

"Thanks Hermione, I'm going to hold you to that!" exclaimed Ginny. "Let's go to a muggle baby shop, I want to get some basic clothing items and charm them to be stain resistant. It's much cheaper than buying them precharmed."

Ginny wrote her Gringotts account number on the receipt and handed it back to the clerk behind the counter. The clerk thanked them while Ginny shrunk down her purchases and slide them into her purse.

—-

Later that afternoon, Hermione flipped through one of the celebrity magazines she found in the muggle baby shop she visited with Ginny. Her friend had insisted she pick up a few to find her Severus look alike. She was coming up empty handed so far, all these magazines contained was popular artists who looked flawless or absolutely horrid. Hermione tossed the magazine in her home office rubbish bin with the others.

She turned to her computer and turned it on. Once it powered on she began typing various search terms in to find a male celebrity that met her needs. After an hour of searching, Hermione began getting frustrated and started talking to herself as she looked.

"Now really, I typed in pale skin and dark hair, why on earth would a picture of Denzel Washington come up!"

"Why are there pictures of baby animals in this search?! Unless Severus has become a kitten, none of this is helpful!" exclaimed Hermione. Just then the real Severus stuck his head in her office, peering over his reading glasses. He was still wearing his work clothes, having just gotten home.

"What on earth are you on about in here?" Severus asked. "I could hear you from living room, I thought I heard my name."

Hermione quickly switched screens to a dull report she had been completing for work. "Oh just a bit of legislation regarding mountain trolls that I found particularly vexing. How was your day?" She asked, smiling warmly and hoping he bought it because it was a rather unappealing topic to most.

Severus raised an eyebrow, and pushed his glasses on top of his head to rub his eyes as he spoke. "Please tell me that's not going to be your next project. Pursuing the rights of mountain trolls, that really won't accomplish much. They can barely tell which end of their bodies to shovel food into let alone comprehend Ministry laws." Severus stated.

Hermione laughed, at which Severus couldn't help but smile slightly. "Don't worry, it's a report on the current legislation regarding them. I've been systematically going over all of the legislation regarding non-human magical beings that hasn't been updated in the last century. Mountain troll legislation may be poorly written but I doubt it needs updating." Hermione said as she got up from her desk and walked over to her husband. Severus wrapped his arms around her as she buried her face in his chest. He kissed the top of her head.

"Well that's a relief, I can rest easy knowing you haven't got a bee in your bonnet over mountain trolls." Severus said. "Now what are you in the mood for this evening? I wouldn't say no to some take away curry from down the street."

Hermione lifted her head and looked up at him with an exasperated smirk. "We've had curry from that place four times in the last week. Surely you have grown tired of it?!"

Severus scoffed. "Well, it's not my fault you are an abysmal cook and I have to eat elsewhere to ensure I don't fall ill. Besides, it's incredibly good and authentic."

Hermione playfully slapped his chest and adopted a look of mock hurt."I try my best to provide meals for my husband and this is the thanks I get! Slandering my hard work and sweat over a hot stove!" Hermione shouted in mock exasperation.

Severus chuckled and picked Hermione up only to set her on her desk. She shrieked slightly in surprise before giggling. He stepped between her legs which she promptly wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer. She smiled at him and he leaned in, pressing his mouth close to her ear. "I would much rather you put your energies towards sweating and working hard over me." He rumbled in her ear before kissing a trail down her neck.

She leaned her head to the side allowing him better access. He stopped at the juncture between her shoulder and her neck to bite her rather hard. She gasped and moaned in quick succession. He sucked hard for a second before releasing her tender skin and moving his lips to hers. His hands slid under her shirt and pulled it over her head.

He returned to their momentarily abandoned kiss and made up for said abandonment by tangling his tongue with hers. Hermione reached up to run her fingers through his hair only to knock his glasses off the top of his head. She pulled away briefly to look for them only to be stopped by Severus's hand on her cheek. He pressed a kiss to her lips and said "Leave them."

Hermione opened her mouth to protest but promptly had it filled by her husband's kisses. She quickly forgot what she was going to say as she resumed her earlier endeavor of tunneling her fingers into his hair. Severus ran his hands over her shoulders then down her back and over her bum. He pulled her closer to his body then his hands journeyed upward again to the clasp of her bra. He made quick work of unclasping and removing it from her body.

Severus broke the kiss and began kissing across her face then down her neck. He continued his trajectory down her chest to her breasts. He ran his tongue over and around her nipple as it hardened in response. Hermione leaned back slightly to grab her wand, she intended to remove his clothes but couldn't focus enough for wandless magic at the moment.

As she wrapped her fingers around it, he wrapped his lips around her hardened nipple and began alternating between sucking and biting gently. Hermione sharply inhaled in response and momentarily forgot why she had reached for her wand. She recovered quickly and silently banished every stitch he had on to their laundry room. She intended to send her clothing the same way when Severus reached up and pulled her wand from her hand, removing his mouth from her body as he did so.

"You know I prefer to undress you myself, witch. I've only been imagining this precise moment all day long" He said while gazing into her eyes. He silently summoned a small canister from the robes she had rid him of previously. "I brought this home from the lab today to try out, if you're up to it." He smirked at her as she pushed her hair from her face.

"I am, although your thinly veiled attempt to appeal to my competitive nature could do with some work." She huffed. Severus quirked an eyebrow.

"Why would I put work into something that seems to function adequately? I believe the muggle expression is 'if it's not broke, don't fix it.'" He said as he relieved her of her jeans and underwear in one motion that included a quick levitation of her person off and back on the desk.

Hermione chuckled. "Such a show off."

Severus smirked slightly as he stepped back, unscrewed the lid from the container and dipped two fingers into a viscous potion inside. He whispered an incantation but nothing seemed to happen. Hermione looked at his hand questioningly, waiting for something to happen.

She looked up at him and said, "I'm sorry love, should it be doing something?"

He looked back at her and moved closer to her naked body. Severus reached his potion-covered hand down to her clitoris as he said "Why don't you tell me?"

Hermione was shocked when she felt vibrations emanating from his fingertips, not strong but there none the less. Her eyes widened slightly as he watched her closely. He whispered another incantation she didn't quite understand and the vibrations intensified while he began to slowly circle her sensitive nub with his vibrating fingers. She took a shuddering breath and then moaned as she closed her eyes.

Severus moved himself closer to her then took himself in his other hand to slip slowly into her. Her eyes shot open at the sensation and she pulled his head in for a searing kiss while he began a slow rhythm in time with his circling motions. He broke the kiss and reached up to her hair with his free hand. He wrapped a handful of her hair around his fist and pulled firmly but not too painfully. Her head arched backwards and her eyes shot to his midnight orbs. He smirked at her as he cocked an eyebrow.

"I believe I asked you a question, Madam Snape." He growled, slamming into her more forcefully for a few thrusts. "Is the potion... doing something for you?"

Hermione opened her mouth to answer but only managed a moan as he pulled her hair again, a bit more sharply this time. The additional sensation was unexpected but enthusiastically welcomed. He released his grip on her hair only to reach down and sharply smack her bum, which was accompanied by a surprised gasp, quickly followed by a groan.

"My know-it-all certainly is articulate this evening." He leaned in to purr in her ear. She raked her nails up his back, he inhaled sharply.

As a result of the intense combination of sensations she was at the mercy of, Hermione was close to her climax. Severus could feel it in how she clenched around him, he quickened his rhythm and she finally managed to speak, if gasping his name into his hair followed by a series of throaty moans in his ear counted. He removed his hand from her clitoris and placed both hands on her hips. He slammed into her a few times before reaching his own completion with a grunt.

He pressed his forehead to hers with his eyes closed briefly. He whispered the incantation to stop the vibrations of the potion. He then opened his eyes and smiled at her flushed face and tousled hair. "So Madame Snape, you didn't seem to answer my question, which I consider a masterful feat really. Silencing the woman who views answering all questions as her life's work. Did the new potion do anything for you?" He asked.

Hermione opened her eyes and grinned at him. "You know, it might have. But really we should ensure it provides consistent results. I would hate for the customers to be disappointed with a potentially dysfunctional product."

"Such sacrifice, all for the benefit of my customers with nothing in it for you." He replied slyly, looking at her devilishly.

Hermione arranged her face into a more serious expression and said "Well far be it from me to allow shoddy testing to sully your reputation. We should probably determine if it is safe for internal use."

"Before we begin our test replicates, I believe you demonstrated some interest in ordering some takeaway for dinner." Severus said, taking step back and blowing his hair from his eyes.

Hermione chuckled and hopped off of her desk, "You are insufferable, alright call it in. But we really have got to stop ordering out so much."

Severus winked at her. "It's all part of ensuring my reputation, we can't do that on an empty stomach."

"I'm sorry, what was your complaint with him again?" Ginny asked, pretending to fan herself. Hermione had recounted her evening with Severus to Luna and Ginny while Luna painted the nursery. Ginny was in a light pink maternity dress sitting on a rocking chair in the middle of the room. Hermione was sitting in the floor next to her wearing jeans and a plaid button up shirt, the sleeves were rolled up to her elbows. Most of the floor was covered in tarp to protect it from the paint. It was a beautiful spring day and they had the windows open for the paint fumes. Hermione blushed slightly with a smirk and lightly smacked Ginny's arm. Or at least she tried to, Ginny's upper body was encased in a modified Bubblehead charm to protect her from the paint fumes, so her smack simply bounced off the bubble.

"Ginny! Honestly! The problem isn't with our sex life, that part is just fine, thank you very much!" Hermione exclaimed.

Luna interjected. "I feel like I should thank you, or maybe Professor Snape. That potion sounds amazing, when will it be available for purchase from his apothecary?" Luna pushed a few stray hairs from her face with the back of her hand, a few wisps of her hair had managed to escape her ponytail. She was wearing paint covered overalls while artfully painting a magical forest on the walls. She had started with the trees and surrounding foliage, it was nearly complete.

"I'm not sure, he wants to file the patent first, it's the first potion that vibrates. He wants to market it for intimate use but also wants to modify it slightly for rolling muscles, like those foam rollers at the gym." Hermione begrudgingly answered, folding her arms across her chest. "But that's not the problem, I want children and he seems to think I'm insane wanting them to be with him."

Ginny shrugged and said "How did my suggestion go? I think that might get you halfway there."

"What was the suggestion?" Luna asked over her shoulder, adding some leaves to an elaborate oak tree.

"Ginny thinks I can convince Severus that he is attractive by comparing him to a rockstar." Hermione answered.

"Oh he does kind of look like one doesn't he? How is that working out for you?" Luna asked.

"I spent hours trying to find one but none of the magazines or search terms I tried seemed to find anyone that looks enough like him for it to work." Hermione said, with a sigh.

"Have you tried a doppelgänger website? You can upload a photo and their database finds a celebrity that looks most like your picture." Luna explained. "I had fun with Ron the other night entering pictures of his family. Unfortunately neither of us is very familiar with muggle celebrities so we didn't really know any of them. It looked pretty spot on though."

"Oh that sounds like so much fun! Maybe I can get Harry to do it with me, growing up in the muggle world, he will probably recognize them. You should try it Hermione!" Ginny said, taking a sip of her lemonade. "Luna, this looks amazing!"

Luna had finished the plants and was painting in various magical creatures. She was adding several bowtruckles to her large oak tree. "Thanks Gin." Luna replied shyly.

"I'll give it a try, even though I think the idea is a bit mad. I'll try just about anything to bring him 'round to the idea." Hermione said. "It really is quite beautiful, Luna."

Luna had placed a charm on the plants to rustle and blow with an imaginary, intermittent breeze. Each creature she finished painting came to life with the flick of her wand and began moving through the landscape. It was bewitching.

Hermione tiptoed in her flannel pajamas down the hall of their home to her office. Severus was sleeping soundly and she didn't want to disturb him. She hadn't been able to get on her computer after coming home from Ginny and Harry's place, now seemed like the best time since she was just lying awake in the bed.

She turned on the computer and waited for it to load. She yawned and stretched in her chair. Something bumped the door to her office and she whirled around only to see their cat come gliding into the room.

"Anakin, you scared the living daylights out of me!" She whispered to their all black cat. He came over and rubbed against her legs. She leaned down and rubbed his head. She smiled down at him as he began to pur.

"I did convince him that you were a good idea, I should be able to convince him to have a child or two with me." She whispered to Anakin and herself. She turned back to the computer that had finished loading her desktop. She opened her pictures folder and began searching for a suitable photo of him. It took several minutes, most pictures included her as her husband generally protested photos of just himself.

However, she found just the picture to use. It was from their first Christmas together, she had caught him admiring a rare potions book she had given him. She had grabbed the camera and called his name, she snapped the photo before he had a chance to change the expression on his face. It was one of her absolute favorite pictures of him.

Picture found, Hermione went online to find the website Luna had described to her. She found many and just picked the first one that didn't look like it would give her computer a virus. She uploaded the photo and clicked 'find'. It took a minute for it to load, when the comparable celebrity loaded she didn't recognize the name but the face was uncannily similar to her husband, particularly the younger pictures she had seen from his early 20s.

She grinned, maybe this mad plan would work after all. Hermione Snape has some research to do on some man named Marilyn Manson.