A/N:
This is my first Chuck fanfiction. I've been writing on the Bones board for a while, but recently I started watching Chuck and have become a fan. I may not have the characters' voices right yet, so all constructive criticisms are welcome! Please note that there are spoilers for Chuck versus The Lethal Weapon.
Casey versus Orion
He's standing there, this punk kid who's been maybe the biggest pain in my ass in my entire professional life. Except-- at some point in working with the kid, my professional life's become my personal one. As if I didn't already know that when I couldn't take him out.
"This guy created the Intersect? ... That means he might know how to get it out of my head."
Beckman answers him with a "We don't know, Chuck. Perhaps." and damn, even she looks sympathetic.
"We've got to find him. We've got to find this guy before Fulcrum does." He's amped up instantly, not panicked, but close—it's like he's seeing his life flash before his eyes if Fulcrum gets Busgang before we do. And yet there's something else in there, too. Purpose.
It is his life if they get Perseus before we do, I realize. His real life depends on getting this thing out of his head.
"What about that name, Orion," he asks later, after Busgang is dead. "Busgang said that maybe Orion could get the Intersect out of my head."
Beckman tells him there aren't any leads, and the kid's jaw clenches. But ... it's not just disappointment this time. He's starting to get angry. And yet he mans up enough to get up and shake Barker's hand like Barker didn't just hone in on Walker and get her all goo-goo eyed and confused. I hate how adaptable he is, how he rolls with every single punch his shitty life keeps throwing at him, so when Barker says he's a "special agent," I grunt "special" as if he's on the CIA Short Bus, when he's anything but.
Barker wishes him luck with getting rid of the Intersect, and Chuck just says calmly, "Thanks, but I'm beginning to think that's never going to happen."
Later, though, he's sitting out in the courtyard talking with Walker (got to talk to him about how sound carries out there some other time) and he tells her "Just so you know, I am going to get this thing out of my head, one day. I will. And when I do, I'm going to go on to live the life that I want, with the girl that I love, because I'm not going to let this thing rob me of that." His tone is so calm, so matter-of-fact, and it's there again, except stronger this time, that thing flickering under that initial excitement over who Perseus was back in the Castle. Purpose.
Through it all, this kid has been loyal to his friends and family, and loves them with everything in him. He's been loyal even to me when I'm a jackass on purpose. He's shoved his way into me and my life just as much as Larkin shoved that thing into his head and Walker and I shoved our way into his life. He's badgered me, joked around with me when I've been in no mood, picked at me about my feelings, for Christ's sake, when lesser men than him would fear for their lives. But he doesn't-- or he does, but goes ahead anyway.
I've thought in the past that he was a wimp. But he's not-- just different. He's brave enough to try to make this version of his life as normal as possible, to make me and Walker as much a part of those friends and family he's so loyal to. But he wants out. Desperately. And he wants Walker, too.
I've always looked forward to the next assignment, wondered what the future would hold. With the exception of Ilsa, I've never really regretted what happened during a job-- it was always just doing what was required. But this Team Bartowski thing is no longer a job. And I wonder-- what's going to happen to me if he finds Orion and gets that thing out of his head? Where do I fit when he's no longer the Intersect?
This new purpose of his-- I've got to do what I can to help him, help him get back the messed-up but still normal life he had before this all started. I never thought I really wanted a normal life, but as I hear him make that promise to Walker, all I can think is this is the most normal my life has ever been. And I don't want it to change.
