I had driven down Veteran Avenue, made a u-turn, drove back up and then down again. I did this about 13 times and each time I wished for x-ray vision so I could see beyond the campus wall. Maybe if I could see students lying on the grass, or eating while highlighting their notes, or talking with their professors as they followed them to their office…maybe if I saw any of those things, I would feel more at ease. Instead all I could see were the top of some of school's buildings peeking through the gaps in the trees planted just behind the wall.

When I couldn't avoid it any longer, I made a reluctant left onto Strathmore Drive, drove straight into UCLA's campus and parked in the first parking lot I could find. I cut the engine off but didn't move further.

It's not too late to back out, I thought. I hated high school - most of it anyway - and college just seemed to be the same, with adults. I suddenly missed Jessica. I knew I would see her later, but I craved her reassuring touch and her comforting words. I had half a mind to drive back to USC just to see her again. But I already knew what she would say:

"It's called a gap-year, not a gap-two years."

She was extremely corny sometimes, but she was right. I had already taken the year after we graduated to do whatever I wanted. She was now a year ahead of me and we wanted to finish school and really start our lives together.

A loud tapping on my window made me jump. Some unusually pale face kid was smiling at me. I stared at him for a moment before putting my window down.

"Hi! Do you need help?" He was more eager than anyone should be, with an uneven haircut and a bright green shirt on that read: If you're a freshman, I can help!

"Uh…I guess." I pushed open my door, unconcerned of it gently hitting the helpful boy. He quickly moved out of the way and patiently waited as I jostled through my purse. Pulling out a crumbled sheet of paper, I smoothed out the wrinkles and scanned the document. "I need De Neve Plaza."

"Oh! Okay, well it's a little bit of a walk from here, but there's no closer lot." He thought for a minute. "There's temporary unloading parking… You can drive up there, drop off your things and-"

"Does it look like a brought a lot with me?" I ask as I motion to my tiny silver Porsche. I was also pretty certain that if I got back into my car, I would peel out of UCLA's campus and never look back.

"Ok, well then you just exit this lot…" He continued to give directions as I popped my trunk and pulled out a single duffle bag. I figured that whatever else I needed, I could just buy along the way. It wasn't as if I really planned on living in my dorm. I had a bet with Jessica that my roommate – or roommates – would annoy me in an hour. Jessica bet that I would be annoyed in less than 10 minutes.

"Thank you," I mumbled when my helper was done with his instructions and I started to walk away but stopped short, sighed and instantly pinched myself. My therapist told me to do this every time I was starting to act in a way that someone may consider rude or may hurt someone's feelings – so basically about 10 times a day. I pinched myself so much that I had semi-permanent marks on my hands.

"Hey… what's your name?"

He looked startled at the question. "Oh, um, Travis."

"Nice to meet you Travis. Thanks for your help."

Travis grinned widely, as if these words had lifted his spirits and he almost skipped away while I headed in the opposite direction.

Out from under the parking garage, I squinted up at the path in front of me, placing my hand over my brow to shield from the sun. De Neve Plaza sat on top of a steep climb. I could see my daunting future in front of me and my feet felt like lead. This felt familiar.

When I met Jessica, she was sitting 2 rows in front of me, laughing at an inaudible joke that her friend had just whispered into her ear. Her bright orange curls bounced and glistened gold as the sun shinning through the large classroom seemed to land solely over her head. She hadn't turned around, so I couldn't see her face, but I was memorized.

I watched her until the teacher walked into the class and introduced herself and just like that, sophomore year at Westridge had begun. I hadn't seen her before which was weird because I had been at Westridge since 4th grade. I knew everyone - I knew the girl that had whispered in her ear - but I didn't know her and thus I was intrigued.

I sat through 45 minutes of European History, halfheartedly listening to Ms. Mitchell passionately give an overview of the course. I nodded when her glance fell on me, and scribbled a few notes that seemed to be important but the new girl kept on distracting me. I didn't understand why. My feet felt heavy and I could hear my heart against my chest. When the bell rang, I sprang up, as if I needed the extra burst just to move, grabbed my bag and sat in the newly vacant seat next to her.

"Hey." She turned around and I finally got to see God's work. Her tan skin was covered in chestnut freckles. Her lips were full, her brown eyes mysterious, and the smile that crept unto her face was amazing.

"Hey back at you."

"Who are you?"

She laughed. "What?"

"I mean, I've never seen you before. So…?"

"Ok…?" Her eyes narrowed and one of her perfectly arched brows raised.

I liked her instantly. I pushed my hand out to her. "I'm Ashley."

"Jessica." And as she took my hand into hers, the start of our friendship began.

I shook my head and got myself off of memory road and started walking up the road in front of me. Once I reached De Neve Plaza, I checked with the front desk where they told me my room assignment and give me a wireless key. Making my way through the crowd of students, I reach the elevator and took it up to the 4th floor. I reached my door and took a deep breath. I could hear "Fast Car" playing through the wood and I instantly felt calmer. At least my new roommate had good taste in music.

I opened the door and peaked my head in. She was standing on her bed, hanging a poster over the post but at the sound of the door opening, she turned – slightly startled - looked at me and smiled brightly.

"You're here!" Hoping off the bed, she walks over and extends her hand out to me. "Hi, I'm Spencer."

"Ashley. Nice to meet you."