Hank was at the Mega Lo Mart looking for a damn hammer and dubyadee forty. Dale went with him. But Dale was slowly starting to get annoying with his paranoia and non-stop conspiracy theories.
"Shut up, Dale." Hank finally told him. Dale listened because he was quite intimidated by Hank's assertiveness.
Eventually Hank got tired of looking and decided to swallow his pride and ask for directions. He approached Buckley and tapped his shoulder.
"Uh excuse me, do you know where I can find a damn hammer and some dubyadee forty?"
"Sorry, can't help you." Buckley said in his boring, monotonous voice.
"Well why not?" Hank asked annoyed.
"Chicken thigh." Buckley replied and walked away.
"Jackass..." Hank muttered as he walked onward with Dale, who was still shutting up.
He made his way to the soap/shampoo aisle and, not noticing the puddle on the floor, slipped and fell on his urethra.
"GAWD DAMMIT MUH URETHRA!" Hank yelled, clutching his penis. Bobby approached from behind and threw a ball at Hank. The ball bounced back into his hand, so he threw it again. He continued this for 5 minutes until Hank finally snapped.
"NO MORE BOUNCIN THAT BALL!" Hank snatched the ball and threw it far, but the ball bounced back and hit Dale in the face, who fell down with a "gyeh!"
Hank snatched Bobby by the shorts and kicked him halfway across the store. Bobby crashed into the snack aisle where there was a 3 for 1 deal on fruit pies.
"THANKS, DAYUD!" Bobby yelled.
"That boy ain't right..." Hank muttered as he straightened his glasses and walked onward.
Hank kept on walking. He was by himself now since Dale was hiding from the ball he had convinced himself was "independent". He walked by the grilling section and, to his horror, saw the worst deal ever in the history of supermarkets: 2 for 1 on charcoal!
"Got dang charcoal..." Hank muttered as he pulled out a pocket knife and cut the bags wide open. He then dumped them all over the floor. Not watching where he was going, Buckley walked through the mess and stepped on a piece of charcoal. He slid like an ice skater before falling on his back. Hank approached the fallen employee with his trademark smile.
"YES! WHAT THEN YOU BITCH? YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT, I TELL YA HWAT! WHAT THEN?" Hank then sat down on his face and farted loudly before going to the nearby section and grabbing his damn hammer.
"Chicken butt." Buckley replied.
THE END
