Runescape Runaround

Fishing and Mining: Tasks Sent from Down Below

I telekinetically got Delrith by the goodies and showed him my favorite Helen Hunt movie. (Twister) As he lay on the ground groaning, I telekinetically lifted the stone pillar back into place. From outside the circle I messaged Firebabe informing her I was all right then, I made faces at Delrith. I made my way to the Port Sarim fishing store, bought a new harpoon and lobster cage. I paid the passage to Karamja and went straight to the fishing pier. I was alone on the dock. (Which is how I prefer it.)

I watched the fish swimming in the water a moment before coming up with my harpoon. I took a deep breath and violently stabbed at the water throwing myself into the water. The shallow water nearly broke my neck. I swear I heard the fish laughing. I climbed out of the water cracked my neck and happened to remember my lobster cage. As I lowered it into the water I heard…

"Fishies be mine! Leave dem fishies!" The troll caused me to fall forward into the water again right on top of a sword fish. I grabbed it, climbed onto the pier, and let the troll have it.

"You want fishies? I'll give you fishies!" I impaled the troll with the swordfish. It felt rather good to push the dead troll out to sea. It somewhat made up for the fact I had destroyed my lobster cage when I fell on it. This time I took care not to throw myself into the water and began harpooning fish again. A large grey fish appeared intent on stealing my harpoon. Its jaws clamped on my harpoon and that started a tugging match. The fish gave a good hard jerk and I lost my grip. I jumped in the water on top of the very surprised fish. A few good punches to the eyes made the fish let go.

"BEAT IT!" I screamed, sending the fish bolting away. The handle of my new harpoon now had teeth marks all over it. I heard snickering and saw the grey fish with his head poked out of the water. I climbed back onto the pier.

"Hello there, Zurtok!" Another drunken dwarf appeared. My opinion of these guys has changed drastically ever since I got food poisoning from a kebob a dwarf gave me. I vowed never to talk to another drunken dwarf. "Oi, are you there?" I walked, with the dwarf behind me, to the large pier with all the crates on it and hopped up on one. "Dun't ignore yur mate, Zurtok."

I removed my helmet. "I'm not your sodding mate."

"I hates yoo, Zurtok!" I jumped down from the crate and slowly walked off the pier. The dwarf followed pelting me with rocks that bounced harmlessly off my armor. It was tempting to skewer the little bugger with my harpoon. I just pinned him to a banana tree. As far as I know, he is still there.

Firebabe messaged me and asked me to join her in the mining guild. I messaged I was on my way. I stopped to pick a couple bananas. I figured they might help calm me down. I peeled and began eating one grumbling as I made my way back to the main pier. I was stopped by the customs officer.

"Before you board, I need to search you."

"Look lady, I'm already in a bad mood so do not touch me."

"The only way back to Asgarnia is to get searched." Begrudgingly, I allowed her to search me, which only deepened my anger. "Well you've got some weird stuff-"

I lost it. "WEIRD!? WHAT'S WEIRD ABOUT A BANANA?!" I shoved her off the pier into the water. Everyone was staring at me at this point. I swam back to Asgarnia.

I sat on one of the many crates in Port Sarim and I messaged Firebabe to meet me in the mining guild. Through all my grumbling I wasn't watching where I was going. I was lifted off the ground and found myself staring into the eyes of a rather angry Delrith.

This time I landed in the Fountain at Falador. I sat there in the water drumming my fingers on the side. Another citizen approached the fountain with a bucket.

"Are you about finished in there?"

I climbed out the fountain, grabbed the bucket, filled it with water, and stuck it on the citizen's head. For good measure, I pushed him into the fountain. Then I made my way to the mining guild; after getting my rune armor from the bank.

"You have to be level 60 mining before you can go in there." I shot the guards a look that nearly singed their beards off. They wisely decided to back off.

"I am level 74 mining, so unless you want to be listed as missing in action leave me alone."

I sneezed near the top of the ladder and fell the rest of the way down.

"Babe, are you ok?" Firebabe came running to my side.

"I'm fine. My spine and my pick broke my fall." She helped me up and we went to work mining. I mined several coal rocks and spied a mithril rock ready to be mined, so did another miner. Something told me to let him have it. As he began mining a golem appeared and chased him off.

"Nice job, stony." I said, slapping the golem on the back. I got pounded like a nail into the ground for that. Firebabe help pull me out of the ground.

"Grumpy things aren't they?" Firebabe said.

"Apparently so. Will you please get a can opener and get this helmet off me?"

"Sure babe. I'll be right back."

My helmet was ruined. Even though I could hardly see I foolishly continued mining. I could not see that I was mining a gas pocket. Inexorably, there was an explosion that threw me against the wall. At least my helmet came off.

Firebabe reappeared. "Cancel the openercan." I shook it off and noticed my ruined pickaxe.

"Dam it!" I struck a rock in my anger.

"RRRRRAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! Flee human!"

I jumped up and grabbed a stalactite just out of the golems reach. I clung to that rock formation like it was my true love Firebabe.