You won't miss me. Why should you? I hurt you. If it makes a difference, tears are streaming down my face too.
"I've been reliably told that I don't have one."
"But we both know that isn't true."
I wish I didn't have a heart. But not as much as I wish I hadn't hurt you. I don't have friends, John. I have you. And as much as I need you, you deserve someone better.
You understood, for a lack of a better word. You were simply there. I've always been ostracized for my thinking, and then you… You complimented me, you admire me, you gave me something to live for other than the cold, impersonal puzzles of killers. For once in my life, I had someone.
Which is why I had to do this. Cliche, I know. But he would have killed you. However, don't think I'm doing this for you. I did this for entirely selfish reasons like I do everything else. If you had died, I would have died too. Metaphorically at the time, and literally in the future.
So I will jump. Don't worry; I won't die. That I know. It is a hard fact. Mycroft has already arranged everything. What I don't know is how you feel about me. Feelings have always been hard for me in general, but I think the urgency of everything has gotten me to realize something.
I love you John. Goodbye.
