Hey everyone! I'm back with this one-shot! I know I have other stories I need to complete, but I had a bit of writers block and somehow this was born. I don't own the Naruto series or any of the characters. Reviews are nice but no flames please.
*Update* I rewrote this, didn't really like how I wrote it the first time so yea, rewrote it! Let me know if you like it, please! Please read and review! Reviews are nice so I can know if I need to fix anything, and to further better my stories. Okay, Enjoy!
I've had this thought for a while, and it scares me...because it doesn't make me cry. "Would anyone miss me if I disappeared?" Would anyone care if I just simply vanished? I've failed at so many things, and I've been nothing but a burden so many times. "Would people be happier if I was gone?" I'm not talking about killing myself, I don't want to die. But what if I just ran away? Left everyone behind? Would anyone look for me? (Would the people I hold dear?) If they did, would it be because they had to? Or wanted to? Would they cry if I vanished? Or would they be happier without me, causing chaos in their lives? This thought doesn't sadden me, cause I know they wouldn't miss me, that they wouldn't cry. I've accepted this. (I'm FINE.) Maybe I will disappear, because I know they won't cry.
"I'm sorry,
I'm running away.
(I feel I don't belong.)
I might come home one day.
Please don't look for me.
(I wonder if you even care?)
Goodbye for(maybe)ever.
-Kiba"
I reread what I wrote on the paper, before deciding it was good enough, (maybe even a little too much?) and folded the paper and stuck it in the top drawer of the desk. I looked out the window, it was almost sunset, that's when I decided I would go. I will always love Konoha, the place I was born and raised, but I just felt like I was just in the way now, when I wasn't messing something up, that is, (at least, thats the reason I was trying to convince myself I was leaving.) I sighed and went to finish packing, Akamaru looked at me with sad eyes, I patted his head, he knew what was happening,
"You can stay, I'm not forcing you to come with me."
He stood and walked to the door, and barked. Telling me he wanted to come with me.
"Alright, but don't blame me if you get homesick. I'm not planning on coming home anytime soon."
"Arf!"
"Alright." I quickly finished packing and picked up my backpack, putting it on. I looked around the room one last time.
"Okay, it's time to go, Akamaru."
*The next night*
I sat in a clearing looking up at the stars, which were shining brightly, and I remind myself that I might never see the stars with my friends again, because I was running away. I felt tears in my eyes and I quickly blinked them away, 'Why exactly am I running away?' I look over to Akamaru when I hear him give a low whine next to me, asking me if I was sure about leaving. I pat his head,
"No, I'm sure..."
He tilted his head, asking why.
"Maybe it's because, for the past few months I've felt I don't exist anymore...no, wait, that sounds like a childish reason. I'm leaving because...it hurts to stay."
It hurt because I was in love...with someone the same gender as me, and I knew that he wouldn't except me...but if he did, it would be wonderful, but if he did then would other people except us? They might try to cut us down and hurt us...I didn't want to put him through that pain. So I was leaving, because it hurt to be near him...avoiding him was kinda working, and the fact I could never tell him my true feelings...just avoiding him wasn't working anymore. That's why I was leaving, to protect myself...and him.
"I wonder if I'll ever go back. Has anyone even noticed I'm gone? Will they be able to forgive me for leaving like this?" I sighed, a few people who would probably never forgive me, and they probably hadn't even noticed I was gone yet. I had left a note explaining that I had left Konohagakure for, maybe, ever. Sure I had hidden the note, but they would eventually find it, hopefully after I had left the land of fire and got on a boat to go to the other side of the ocean. I sighed again, I was also silently hoping that someone, or he, would have found the note and come after me before I even left the land of fire. It didn't look like that would be happening now, I would be crossing the border by midnight. I stood up,
"If I want to cross the border by midnight, I should get going." I looked up at the stars for a few more seconds, before starting to walk to the border.
*sniff* I stopped, and Akamaru lightly growled next to me, someone was there.
"KIBA!" "What? How did they notice I was gone that quickly?" I stayed were I was for a few moments, maybe they wouldn't notice I was there and move past me. I sniffed the air again, no such luck. He was heading straight for me, as if he knew I was right there. I sniffed the air one more time to know the person's identity. "This sent! It's his!" The man I was in love with, I don't think I could ever forget his sent. I didn't run like my mind was screaming at me to do, I waited for him. And soon I saw his figure in the trees, "Kiba!" He was soon standing close enough for me to see him,
"Kiba. I've finally found you." I took a step back, preparing to run,
"Shino..." "He followed me! ...Probably because someone found the note and he was placed on a search team to find you. Not because he loves you, baka." The thought encouraged me to run.
"Kiba! Stop!" I didn't.
I ran for a few minutes before I felt someone grab my wrist, forcing me to stop.
"Kiba...look at me." I held back tears and looked at him, he was staring at me, I think, It's so hard to tell when someone wears dark glasses that block their eyes from the world.
"Kiba, why did you run away?" His voice was calm, like it always was.
"Does it matter?" I snapped at him,
"Yes, it does matter. Why did you run away?" I tried to get my wrist free of his grip, but he only held on tighter. I glared at him, I knew I couldn't tell him the truth of why I left, and that pissed me off. So I gave him the fake reason.
"I don't exist there anymore." I growled at him, "What? You do exist there, what are you talking about?" I continued to try and free my wrist.
"At home I'm suddenly in the way all the time, that is, if I'm noticed, people have been ignoring me when not on missions and-" He put his hand, the one that wasn't holding my wrist, up. "You know people are busy, you sound like a child." I stopped trying to free my wrist and looked to the ground, I knew it was a childish reason. But now I was seriously pissed off, He wouldn't let me go, I couldn't tell him the real reason I was leaving, and he had just called me a child. Maybe I could tell him he was the reason I left?
"And then there's you." I looked up at him, "You're always treating me like a child, and you've been ignoring me too, I mean seriously, why say "hey come meet up with me at this time and place" if you're not gonna show up?! Dammit you're the reason I left!" He let go of my wrist then, opened his mouth to say something, then changed his mind and closed it.
"Dammit Shino, I can deal with other people doing asking me somewhere then ditching, but you have no idea how much it hurts when you do that. I feel I don't matter to you, to anyone..." He gently held my hand, "Kiba...is that why you were upset the other day?" I nodded and mumbled "Part of it..." but he heard me,
"Whats the other part?" I looked away from him, "The other part is the reason I left. I can't tell you."
"Why can't you tell me?" I pulled my hand away and took a couple steps back, "I can't tell you the reason I left, why I have to go."
"Kiba...please tell me." I looked at him again.
"I can't. Please understand! I'm scared to." He walked toward me, and I took a few steps back and bumped into a tree, he stood in front of me and put his arms to either side of me, pining me there. "Why can't you tell me? Why are you scared?"
"Because it'll hurt you...or me."
"How?"
"If I tell you how you'll figure it out!"
"Kiba, dammit I'm not letting you go anywhere, until you tell me!" I stared at him, "Why wont you let me go?!"
"Because..." He trailed off, and I realized then I was crying. How long had I been crying? "Why?"
"I won't let you go...because...I'm in love with you." I blinked, "What?" He reached up and wiped away my tears, "I developed a crush on you during our first mission, I didn't know that it was a crush until a year later, then a few months ago I realized that, Kiba, I'm in love with you." He put his arms down and took a few steps back,
"I know, I'm crazy for falling for someone the same gender as myself, I know it's stupid and foolish. But..." He took a breath, "Tell me, look me in the eye and tell me, that you don't love me...that you don't feel the same way. And I'll let you go. But, I beg you, let me have one kiss. That's all I ask, just one kiss."
I walked up to him, "Then take off your glasses, so I can tell you how I feel." He didn't move, so I reached up and took his glasses off, his eyes were...amazing.
"Shino, I love you." He looked shocked, "What? I thought-"
"Let me explain why I left" I held his hand, "I have been called foolish, stupid, and crazy...you know this better than anyone. The reason I left is because I couldn't tell you my true feelings, out of fear of rejection, and fear that if you did except me that other people wouldn't, and of them hurting us, and judging us. It got to the point where being around you hurt because I couldn't tell you I love you!" I hugged him, "Kiba, I was hurting too. To be so close to the one I love, but being to afraid to say anything. It hurt so much. I started to avoid you, but that hurt more. And then you just disappear like that, I thought I would be sick. But you're here, you're safe. And you have no idea how happy I am that you love me as much as I love you." I was crying tears of joy now, "Just promise me, Never let me go. And never just one kiss." He backed up a bit and lifted my chin, "I promise.." he whispered as he leaned into kiss me, "Never just one."
