Batman's Theme Tune
It was breakfast time in Wayne Manor. Bruce had the morning edition of the Daily Planet open to the business section. Ten-year-old Tim Drake, only recently taken in and still painfully shy, was studiously focusing on his food, and not on seventeen-year-old Dick Grayson, who was tinkering with an old radio.
After a few minutes, the radio emitted a squawk, and the fast-paced sound of a rock song blared out. Dick listened happily for a few lines, then grinned mischievously.
"Hey, Bruce?" he said innocently. "It's your theme tune."
Bruce looked up. He did not look happy. "I do not have a theme tune," he said firmly.
"But-" Dick started.
Bruce's spoon flew the length of the table and slammed into the radio, silencing it. "No," he growled, standing up and leaving.
"But Bruce!" Dick yelled, chasing after him.
Tim swallowed his mouthful of breakfast, and looked round. "Alfred?" he called.
"Yes, Master Tim, what is it?" the butler asked, coming from the adjacent kitchen.
"What was all that about?" Tim queried.
Alfred sighed. "When Master Dick was about your age, he thought Master Bruce, or to be more specific, Batman, ought to have a theme tune. Master Bruce is not in favour of having anything as his theme tune. The most…acceptable candidate was Meatloaf's Bat Out Of Hell, which you just heard. But it is much better than the one Master Dick wrote himself."
"How does it go?" Tim asked curiously.
"I believe the most exciting line was "Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah, Batman"."
"Oookaaaay," Tim said slowly.
"I recommend just ignoring it, Master Tim," Alfred said helpfully. "But I do know where Master Dick archived surveillance footage from whenever he brought it up around the League. I find it quite entertaining."
Tim giggled.
AN: This short is set in the Wayne's Boys universe, because I have a suspicion I'll want to return to it in an arc or five...I'd offer some variety of virtual reward for recognizing Dick's attempt, but it should be fairly obvious. Anyway, please review.
