Neither with nor without you

Disclaimer: I don't own anything about Doctor Who or Torchwood, really.

Setting: Cardiff, during the 2000's and onwards

Jack's time line: roughly during season 1 of Torchwood. That is, he's immortal already, but hasn't met the Tenth Doctor and Martha yet.
John/the Doctor's time line: basically, after Time Lord Victorious/Waters of Mars

Also, I should probably mention that I'm referring to the time lord as 'Doctor', while 'doctor' generally refers to the profession.

Told from Jack's point of view. For that reason, some members of Torchwood's main crew appear, but you don't really need to know the show to get this story.

So, what else...ah

Usual pre story ramblings:

The interwebs knows much Human Nature-inspired fan fiction, yet for some reason, I never really stumbled across one that would consider the beautiful pairing that is Jack/Ten (though I must admit, I haven't actively looked beyond the obvious, so I'd be really grateful for any links -hinthint-)

I'm speaking of the episode Human Nature all the time, but I'm actually referring to the use of the chameleon arc. To the Doctor, this story happens much later. I've been wondering whether he would ever freely choose to become human again and, if so, for what reason. So, well, this story is my answer to those questions, and even though I should have added more filler episodes, I like how it turned out in the end, soooo I hope you'll enjoy it, too!


Chapter 1

He was out of breath, running a familiar route for a reason he did not quite remember. Finally, he caught sight of the fountain on Roald Dahl Plass...and his heart skipped a beat.

He had been in a hurry to reach Torchwood, obviously, but this...

All over the square, amidst chunks of burning debris, people lay wounded...or dead.

What the hell had happened here?

He should probably try finding his team, but if the situation was anywhere as dire as it looked, he should get some information right away. Thankfully, some people had survived whatever ordeal had taken place here, and some had even managed staying conscious. Jack was just approaching a brown-haired man who might have been a stunning beauty before the assault when a voice he both loved and dreaded called out to him.

"Jack!" Gwen yelled, clearly distressed.

He turned around.

"Jack!" she repeated, more insistently this time.

Blinking, the Captain stood startled. He could hear her, but where was she hiding?

"Jack!" she yelled directly into his ear, causing him to blink in shock. When he opened his eyes again, however, he was no longer standing amidst injured civilians, but within the safe walls of the Hub.

Noticing the half-done paperwork underneath his cheek, his mind finally caught up to the fact he had fallen asleep rather than failed to protect innocents yet again. "Gwen," he greeted his friend, the relief from returning to reality quite evident in his voice, "thanks for waking me."

She rolled her eyes. "Thanks for not drooling on my latest report, Jack," she replied dryly, but cracked a tiny smile.

Stretching, he sent her a brilliant grin. "So what brought you here on this fine evening?" he asked amiably.

She arched an eyebrow. "There's work to do, Jack," she stated and sent him a meaningful look, "what else would it be?"


"What has been considered a skeletal deformation has turned out to be an alien parasite," Toshiko informed them as they entered a hospital.

"We ordered anybody quarantined who had contact with the victim," Owen offered, "but I really hope this beast hasn't had a chance to procreate."

Nodding in grim agreement, Jack pushed the final door open to reveal a single patient within a large, anonymous room full of beds and couldn't help gulping.

The victim...was only a boy of maybe eight years, sobbing heartbreakingly in either fear or pain.

As Jack's heart was breaking a little, Gwen was quick to hurry to the boy's side. "Joshua, that's your name, isn't it?" she addressed him with a soft smile, "We're Torchwood, and we're here to help, so can you tell me what happened?"

The boy only slowly stopped sobbing, but he did watch her through tearful eyes. "We heard there's...something on your back," Gwen whispered compassionately and patted the boy's hand.

Sniffing audibly, Joshua nodded numbly.

Gwen's smile softened. "Can we...see it?"

The boy's face froze for a moment. "It hurts," he sniffed, and the wails started anew. He was sobbing even harder than before, and suddenly even Gwen was at a loss of words.

She had asked about his back to get the boy to warm up to her, not necessarily because she needed his cooperation to see what was wrong. The boy was not exactly leaning against the wall, and while they were rather small, the grey appendages on his upper back were visible enough.

"Wings," Ianto breathed in awe.

It wasn't as if they might be functional from a strictly physical point of view, but frankly, it wasn't what they had been expecting, either.

"Since when do you have these, Joshua?" Gwen tried approaching the boy again, but he did not reply at all.

"They called me a monster," he wailed, rubbing his eyes.

Jack was about to protest, but he was beat to it.

"You're not a monster, Joshua," a voice spoke from behind them, "Whoever told you that will be green with envy once they see you flying above their heads."

Turning to the door in alarm, they saw a brown-haired man in a lab coat casually striding towards them.

Jack blinked. He couldn't deny he liked what he saw, but more importantly...hadn't he seen that man before?

"I'm sorry it took me so long to find you some chocolate," the stranger smiled as he handed the sweet to the sobbing boy, who began gulfing it down right away, and met Jack's eyes at last, "but then again, I didn't expect the men in black to arrive so quickly."

Jack arched an eyebrow. The man in front of him was blatantly ignoring both evacuation and quarantine orders, but obviously he had a good reason to. He had been looking after the boy even though everybody else was gone. No frightened child should be left on its own.

So rather than sending the man off, Jack chose to go along with his joke. "I'm glad you recognized us even though we forgot our sunglasses today," he grinned and extended his hand, "Captain Jack Harkness, MIB." Feeling Gwen's glare in his back, he added, "otherwise known as Torchwood."

"I know who you are," the stranger replied with a slight frown, but shook Jack's hand nonetheless, "Doctor John Smith."

"So you're Joshua's doctor," Owen drawled as he skimmed the contents of the patient's report he had meanwhile gathered from the boy's bedside, "but you're not the one who called us. As a matter of fact..." He glanced at the report once again. "You've failed to do so for several days."

John's expression grew serious as he motioned for them to follow him to a corner of the room where the boy was less likely to hear them over his quiet conversation with Gwen. "Frankly, this is a big misunderstanding," he stated bluntly, "and I apologize for the trouble. You were called by someone who does not understand the situation, but there is really nothing you can do here."

Owen looked scandalized. "What are you implying?" he demanded and motioned towards the boy grimacing as Gwen carefully reached for shoulder, "He's in pain. We need to remove that parasite at once."

Sighing, John leant against one of the vacant chairs. "So you kill what you don't understand? This is what Torchwood does, is it?" he asked numbly and ran a hand through his hair.

"We're helping those who need us however way we can," Jack clarified, slightly aggravated, "and I'd welcome you to work with us on this."

"Please read the report carefully, then," the doctor spoke, forcing himself to calm down, "all the readings indicate a symbiosis rather than a parasite."

Eyes widening, Owen stared at the report. His silence could only mean that he saw his own mistake.

"Of course you only just arrived, while I have been studying his development for a few days already," John went on, "The thing is, Joshua's been paraplegic since a car accident several years ago. Whatever creature has grown on his back is supporting his spine and reconnecting his nerves – which is also what causes his pain, but will subside eventually."
Even Jack could barely believe what he was hearing.

"We don't know what it's really after," Ianto protested weakly, "Even if it's supporting him, we cannot tell what will happen once it's fully grown."

"At this point, neither Joshua nor his...wings can exist without the other," John informed them. "We're living in an age where we have to confront the existence of alien life, I'm pretty sure you of all people understand that, so why is it so hard to accept the idea that some of these foreign life forms are here to help?"

Looking from the doctor to his patient who had finally cried himself to sleep in an awkward Gwen's arms, Jack was speechless once again. "Are you sure about this?" he asked at last.

"I'm monitoring his progress," John replied softly, "I can send you updates if you need me to."

"Please do," Jack replied with a nod and motioned for his team to leave, "I can't believe we're already done here."

"I told you, it was a false alarm," John offered with a shrug.

Jack met the doctor's eye, and he could tell that in spite of his words, they were both thinking the same. Torchwood might have unintentionally killed the child by removing the alien. He trusted Owen would have discovered his mistake in time, but...

"Thank you," was all Jack could muster.

"You're welcome," John chuckled, "Contact me if I you ever need my help. I'm really interested in your work."

Not having expected that, Jack was even more surprised by the doctor's attitude. "Actually," he drawled with a sly grin, "I might take you up on this offer."


"Oh my god." Staring over John's shoulder, Gwen could not believe what she was seeing in his hands, "You're probably the worst poker player I've ever seen."

John's eyes widened slightly as he took what appeared to be his first conscious glance at the cards in his hand. "I can't believe I was confusing the rules again," he laughed in disbelief and admitted defeat by dropping the cards on the table.

"It's hard for me to believe a genius like you cannot remember some rules as simple as that," Owen, still in the game and apparently winning, commented with a sly grin.

"Oh cut him some slack, Owen," Jack chanted as he had to surrender as well, "We've all had a long day."

And it was true. The rift had run haywire, teleporting all kinds of foreign animals to Cardiff Bay. After hours of trying to find either reason or solution, he had been desperate enough to call John for help. The doctor might not be a specialist in the field, but he was disturbingly clever and very ingenious. As a result those few times Jack had consulted him, their brainstorming sessions had always led to a solution.

Much like this time.

Scanning the hub, Jack was surprised to find their new friend gathering his jacket. "I hate to spoil the evening, but I need to be awake tomorrow," he explained with an apologetic look.

Taking a deep breath, the Captain approached the other man. "Are you sure you don't want to join us?" he asked, "You would be a great addition to Torchwood."

But John simply shook his head. "It's the smiles of humans whom I helped recovering that keeps me going," he replied, "I don't think I can do without that." He met Jack's eye. "What is it that keeps you going, Jack?"

Frankly, the Captain did not know what to answer. His reason was the same, somehow, wasn't it? But then again, his work at Torchwood was barely rewarding. Dangers, thrill and duty. But what was it driving him after all those years?

Along with memories that were as painful as they were motivating, a face appeared in his mind, of a man with large ears and a leather jacket. "I guess," he drawled, "maybe I'm really just doing that because of a mentor I want to impress."

Judging by his arched eyebrow, John had not expected that. "If it's any help," he chuckled good-naturedly, "you've impressed me quite a lot already."

His friend might have just been polite, and yet Jack's heart leapt up at those words.

But maybe...John had been more than polite in that moment.

It was true, Jack had been struggling to follow in the Doctor's footsteps. He was trying to make him, wherever he may be, proud by following his guidelines.

But in reality...the Doctor was not here.

Then again, did he really need the Doctor as badly as he had always told himself?

Forcing himself out of his reverie, Jack stared back at a questioning pair of brown eyes.

"You know, I've been wondering how to thank you for your continued support," he began with a sly grin and finally allowed himself to appreciate what he was seeing, "But unfortunately, I fear I can only repay you in drinks."

John's inquisitive expression melted into a slightly disbelieving smile. "I thought you'd never ask," he chuckled, causing Jack's grin to widen even further.

Why hadn't he noticed before now?

Jack had been so focused on pitying himself during his never-ending search for the Doctor...that he had failed to realize he had his own doctor right there waiting for him.

And he would be sure to make this good.

Chapter 1 - End


Notes: I'll be uploading the entire story as soon as I can, but feel free to tell me anything you dislike, like, whatever, as soon as it crosses your mind!