Title: The Almost Seduction of Remus Lupin
Chapter Title: Why Some Questions Are Best Asked At Night
Rating: PG for this bit. Or PG-13 for homosexuality. Or bisexuality. Or Sirius' existence. Whichever floats your boat.
Pairing: Remus/Sirius for the time being
Summary: The various attempts of Sirius Black in regards to seducing Remus Lupin.
Author's Note: The segments are short because my brain hates me. And as soon as I sat down the plot bunnies deserted me. Those wretched fiends.
Seeing another boy as handsome (in a non-platonic sense) was more than enough for the former heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black to cower in fear. He wondered if it was too early to seek out Madame Pomfrey for psychiatric aid. Or possibly his brain was not the problem; it could be his eyesight. That would also explain the subject of his newly questioned sanity.
He had hair that could only be called lack lustre, when compared with Sirius' own flowing locks; his nose was too large for his face; he was thin, pale, and scarred, all side-effects of his moonlit romps once a month. These traits combined declared that, no, Remus Lupin was not handsome.
Yet Sirius could not help but see him as such.
It wasn't long after this realization that Sirius decided to seek out James for his advice. He stared vaguely at the bed curtains before clearing his throat and calling out, "James?"
"Mmgh," James replied, clearly asleep.
Sirius stood and took a step towards James, whose arms tightened instinctively around his pillow. "Mine," he muttered, words slurred, "Steal my pudding and I'll hex off your arms."
"James," Sirius hissed, sitting on the edge of the bed and shaking his friend awake. James replied groggily, "Eat your gravy."
Sirius waited for consciousness to tighten its feeble grasp before asking, "Do you think Remus is attractive?" Whatever James had been expecting, it wasn't that. James' near-sighted, glazed expression, forced him to hastily add, "Because, I mean, it's just…" He sighed. Suddenly, Sirius sat bolt upright at the unexpected flash of reason. "Maybe I'm under the Imperius Curse!"
James blinked.
Sirius sighed. "Right, that's fairly stupid. So what should I do?" Sirius had a dejected look on his face and had James actually understood the conversation he might have consoled him. "Should I wait it out?" Sirius continued, "Should I act on it?"
"Ungh," James said supportively.
"Of course!" Sirius gasped. "I'm Sirius Black for Merlin's sake. A man of action! A man of long-winded speeches! A man of minimal thought! Thanks, mate, you were a real help." Sirius hopped off of James' bed and returned to his own, a grin plastered on his face.
"Nngh," said James.
Author's Note the Second: So yes? No? Feedback makes my world go 'round.
