Alone
Sweden grudgingly opened the door to his home. His now very empty seeming home. He tried to ignore how quiet it was. How loud the quiet could be. How piercing, shredding, accusing the silence could be. On the long walk home he began to wonder if this might have been his fault. Had he enabled this to happen?
He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw it haphazardly taped to the wall, crooked. An ugly little drawing Finland had done of the two of them together. 'Vänner' was scribbled across it in Finland's childish handwriting.
Little Tino was gone. Just... gone. He wasn't there any more. Russia had taken him away. And now he was gone.
Berwald's vision blurred for a moment as sneaky tears ripped their way out of his cornea. He was crying. It wasn't something he was use to. He tried to wipe them away, but just more of them came. This was stupid. So stupid. He was crying. HE was crying. He never cried. Never.
He looked away from the silly picture, but he couldn't bring himself to rip it down. It wasn't his. It was Finland's. When Finland came home he would probably ask where it went...if he came home.
If. That horrible word bore such a weight. If. If Finland didn't die in Russia's care. If Finland ever did get his freedom from Ivan.... If he even wanted to come back.... If he didn't blame Berwald for failing.
Sweden slammed the door to his bedroom, willing some noise to break the accusing silence. The crippling, crushing, accusing silence.
He flopped down on his bed, clenching his eyes shut and willing it all away. Instead the smell of Tino made itself known to him. He opened his eyes, staring at the empty place in his bed where Finland no longer was. Where he would never be again. Berwald reached out and grabbed the pillow that Tino had rested his head on all those nights they had lived together and pulled it against his chest. He hugged the pillow feverishly, burying his face in it and crying.
He might have cried for minutes. He might have cried for decades. All he knew was that Finland was gone.
And he was crying...alone.
XxX
This is why I shouldn't watch Hetalia before I go to bed.
For SparkedSteel, who is the best Tino evar.
