I walked under the bridge. I was raging tonight. A young boy about Max's age walked up to me.
"Hey baby, wanna buy an eight ball? It's pure, I swear." My heartstrings were tugged. I couldn't help but think of Max.
'Russo! Snap the hell out of it. You're the hardest kid on these streets. Now fucking act like it.'
"Nice try punk. Who the hell do you think you're dealing with? You are aware that I am Alex Russo right? Takes more than a 13 year old and a cut eight ball to get me. I know who to trust on the streets, myself."
The kid looked up at me. "I need some food. D'you know anyone who'll buy this?"
For some reason I still couldn't get Max out of my head. I gave the kid my last ten bucks. "Tell ANYONE I helped you out, and I'll have you killed. Got it? Go home kid. You've got time to turn yourself around. This life isn't fun or cool. It fucking sucks. I'm telling you this and I rule out here. No one cares about street kids. Go home; tell your mom you're sorry. Buy her a flower. Just go home."
I wasn't sure what had just happened. I could get away with anything. I stole, I lied, and I cheated. I smoked, drank and did drugs. But nobody cared about 17 year old Alex Russo anymore. And she cared about no one. That is except Max and Justin, my brothers. The only two people from my old life that cared about me. My parents expected me to end up like this. 'She's going to be worthless, mark my words' my father said. Yeah well, she'd shown him. Got a group together and fucking destroyed his sandwich shop. The last thing she'd done? Left a letter for him. Who's worthless now? XOXO
It's true though. I'd screwed up. I had always fucked around in school, letting my grades slip. I fell into the wrong crowd. Started smoking. Went to parties and started drinking. Then I started cutting class to get drunk. Then my so called 'friends' introduced me to marijuana. I was never the same girl. I was always baked. I was always trying to achieve a better high. Justin was the first to notice, but by then I was too far gone. Dad chucked me out. I moved in with my then boyfriend Dean, but turns out his love came at a price. That was my biggest lesson in life. Love will always equal debt. It was fine though, I had my drugs and booze. I could smoke pot, snort coke and shot some cheap vodka. I'd be fine.
The 7/11 down the road taught me everything I ever needed to know. It was like school I cared about. I met a guy who showed me how to deal, and lift anything I wanted from a gas station without ever being caught. The student quickly surpassed the teacher though. He got busted in a joint robbery that we teamed up for. I got away with all the loot.
I passed by GiGi's house. She had a home, a family that cared about her. She humiliated people and was still loved. I never intended to hurt people. But it didn't matter. I'd given up on finding a home. I didn't believe in real homes. Especially that fucked up "Home is where the Heart is" bullshit.
Regardless, I hit my spot. Ok, so it was a wall under some bridge. But I laid my head there every night. I slid down and lit up my last joint. I was about halfway done when Justin and Max showed up. I pooched my joint. If the rental units smelled it on them, they'd get locked down.
Justin pulled out a sub. "I figured you might be hungry." I snatched it. As I wolfed down the sub, Justin sat down beside me. "Alex, will you please consider something for me?" I looked quizzically at him. "Get help. It isn't too late for you either. I know you've been helping the younger kids. They keep telling mom." Oh yeah, did I mention my mom started a youth transitional center for street kids?
"Justin, this city is damned. Look around you. No one cares about us. Once you hit 16 you're screwed. Treatment centers would turn me away. They don't help kids like me. You know something? You and Max can look around here and see hope. That's what health class teaches you. But we look around here and see death, loneliness. Out here, if you want to survive, you count on numero uno. Yourself and yourself only. Shouldn't you guys head home? Mom and dad will flip."
Justin shook his head. "They're gone for the weekend. Max really wanted to come down and see you." As if on cue the boy curled up on my lap. It wasn't long before he fell asleep.
"You guys can't sleep here, definitely not on a Friday. It's dangerous, particularly for Max. Take him home Justin. His being here at all scares the shit out of me." Justin woke Max up and went off to go to the washroom in some bush. Just as he disappeared some guy about 20 years old showed up.
He stroked Max's hair. "Hey cutie, what are you doin? Wanna play?" Max jerked away and hid behind me.
"Get out of here. This is my turf. Leave him alone." I warned.
"Awe, is he your treat Russo? Why don't you just step aside? You know I can make that boy need me in about ten seconds. Nice virgin ass like that. He made a move for Max. I flipped open my knife and slashed straight down his side. He screamed curse words and took off. I wiped the blood off on my sock and closed the knife. When it was safely back in my pocket, I turned to Max.
"Are you ok? Please tell me you're ok." He nodded wiping the tears from his eyes.
"Alex, you hurt that man. Really bad. Is he going to be ok?" he hugged me tight.
"Don't you dare worry about him! He's a sick man. You and Justin need to get home. It's not safe around here for you." I kissed him on the head.
"If it's dangerous for us isn't it dangerous for you?" he tried reasoning.
"No Max, not quite. I know how to protect myself out here. I know how the streets work. It's like you driving is dangerous, but Justin knows how so it isn't." he was still hugging me.
"Please come home Alex. Just for the weekend. We'll get you all fed up, and you can shower. I kept all your stuff, so you can take some new clothes. Please, just one weekend?" he was begging.
Remember the one weakness I mentioned? Max. He could make me do anything. "Let me finish my joint, and think about it." He nodded and sat down. I leaned against the wall and lit my joint again. I took a long pull and coughed it out. Max looked up and shook his head disapprovingly. I finished it and stowed my roach. I knelt beside Max. "I'll come for one night, and spend the day tomorrow. I belong out here, but I'm willing to chill with you boys for the day." He squeezed me tightly
"Thank you thank you thank you Alex! I really miss you at home. Especially your cuddles."
The drive back to Waverly Place wasn't terribly long. About forty five minutes. But I was aching for a smoke. Justin noticed me tapping my pack impatiently. "Go ahead Alex. I smoke in here anyways." I lit up and took a long puff, passing it over to Justin. He took it gratefully.
"When did Mr. Perfect start smoking?" He laughed.
"About the same time you did I imagine. Dad never seemed to care. Too busy with you I guess."
"I'm sorry you guys went through that. I really am. I would do things differently if I had the chance. I promise."
Justin took my hand. "I know little sister. I promise." He pulled over into a gas station. Very conveniently the one we street kids ruled. The boys who ran the joint were in the know about us, but were mostly too scared to do anything. I lifted anything and everything in this store. I walked a free woman.
"I'm gunna go pee." I announced as Justin opened the fuel hole.
"Please, stay out of trouble." He pleaded.
"I always do big brother." I winked. I walked into the bathroom. It was just a unisex one person. The walls were graffitied with our names. Everyone who'd lifted from there. There were rules of living on the streets, codes to live by. We all followed them, well mostly. You didn't fuck around too much with the code though. They were like our…bible scriptures, if you will. They all surrounded one handprint, painted with blood. I walked up to the wall. I raised my hand, and pressed it against the print on the wall. It was a perfect fit. Underneath the print read Alex Russo our Jesus.
I couldn't help but smile. I'd killed a man for the title, but it was mine. The print was dulling, so I cut my hand. Once the blood was smeared evenly I pressed my hand back into my print. I wrapped my hand in toilet paper. I pulled my sleeve low and my hood up, and left the store.
"Took you long enough" Justin said as I got in the car. "Please tell me you didn't steal anything" he caught my grin
"Cheese puff?" I offered.
"Jesus, Alex." He groaned as he pulled out.
"You have no idea." I said under my breath.
--An Hour Later—
"Look Alex, all I am saying is that the world leaders deserve some credit. They try." Justin argued.
"HA! The people who are center of this world, have fucking doomed it. They have it war torn and poverty stricken. Global warming has fucked over our kids and their kids. Admit it brother, we're screwed." I smiled cockily.
Justin thought for a minute and tried to come up with a response. Then the doorbell rang. "I'll get it."
I grabbed a soda. It was nice being back, but I didn't belong here. This was my vacation. People counted on me out there. Justin came back into the room but he wasn't alone.
"Harper? What are you doing here?" I managed to stammer out.
"I had to come see you. I miss you Alex. I wanna put our differences aside. Let me help you?" she moved towards me.
Something inside me snapped. "I don't care." She stopped. "Everyone is so full of shit. You're all raised by a bunch of hypocritical assholes. You can bring me back and try. And hell, I might even succeed, but in the end I'm just recycled. You can't save me. I was born like this, and I'll die like this. This generation has become a war filled peace hating generation. All of us. The kids out there, they look to me. I'm their fucking Jesus." I yelled.
"Alex…I-" she started
I cut her off. "Harper, dearly beloved Harper. Are you listening to me?" she nodded.
"I don't understand you though."
"You never will"
She grabbed my hand. "Help me to. Please Alex."
I started crying. "When I'm out there, I think to myself. 'Are we all demented and fucked? Or am I just one disturbed kid?' Like I'm somewhere in between insane and overly insecure. No therapy has ever filled the void either. I am called the perfect street kid, I belong out there. To live and not breathe freely like I do out there is to die within a tragedy. It's time for me to find what I believe. To leave behind this hurricane of fucking lies and bullshit. I've lost faith and to a bunch of fucking brats that never loved me. Look at me. The most fun I have is when I'm hurting myself. I cut, I bleed and I am happy. I'm a masochistic freak."
"No Alex, you just need help. I'll always be here to help you." I looked up and noticed that car passing by.
"Harper, Justin hit the floor!" The car was full of some enemies I'd made. Dean, a couple of dealers, and a couple kids I'd beaten up. The guy who tried getting Max was there too. "Justin, take Harper and get down to the lair. Lock it. I'll get Max and he can zap down there." Justin nodded.
"Alex, what about you? You've got no powers. You can't get in once it's locked. Don't be a hero Alex, just don't." Harper cried.
"I'll be fine, just go. Now!" Justin pulled Harper down to the lair. I ran up to Max's room. "Max! Get up, you need to get to the lair right now."
"Huh, what's going on?" He asked groggily.
"Nothing. Justin will explain when you get down there. Now get going." She kissed him on the forehead. He snapped his fingers and was gone.
Alex heard the smashing of glass downstairs.
"Russo! We know you're in here. Come out come out wherever you are!" Dean's voice teased. "What a Christ. Hiding in the face of danger. Very Jesus like Alexandra."
I ran downstairs, knife at the ready. "What do you want Dean? They alarmed this place after my break in. So you've only got about five minutes."
He smiled. "Then I'll make it quick. Ready to be crucified?"
He lunged with his knife. I dodged him, lashing out with my own attack. I missed. As I spun around, I felt his knife plunge into my stomach. As the sirens drew closer, he took off.
Tears were flowing freely from me. I had never been in so much pain. Justin was beside me now. I couldn't hear what he was saying but next thing I knew, the knife was being pulled from me. My breathing became labored. As I struggled for every breath, I realized I was dying.
"Max, I love you. Stay out of trouble. Don't be like me. Ok? Justin, look after him. Like I did. Like I checked on him every night. Please. I love you. And Harper, I'm sorry. You're the best friend a girl could ever hope for." I managed. Then, though I'd walked the line of death a million and one times, I never made it to a million and two." I gave in to the succumbing pain.
--Justin's Point of View--
It's been about a month since she died. Things have really changed. Dad put our family photos with her in back up. He isn't ashamed of her anymore. Mom hasn't stopped crying. She says she lost her baby girl again, just when she was about to get her back. Max hit rock bottom, and started drinking. That got cleaned up pretty fast when he found out that's where Alex started. As for me, I started dating Harper. We really helped each other deal with a lot.
Dean and the rest of the gang who broke in were caught that night. Dean's being charged with first degree murder and tried as an adult. The rest of them are getting two years for breaking and entering and obstructing justice.
Alex didn't feel ashamed for the way she lived. She refused to apologize. There were no options left for Alex, so she sacrificed herself for us. She ran from her pain, because she felt victimized by it. Now we're another broken home.
