A/N: Well here is the revised version of My Brother's Lullaby! I hope that it is satisfactory! :)

For the sake of clarity for any new readers I may have, there are a few things that you need to know. I have altered the Tolkien Timeline a bit for this fic. I've changed when Bilbo's parents died and when he inherited Bag-End, making him considerably younger when he did. I've also come up with my own Dwarven ages and their human equivalents. For every 20 of dwarven years, it would be the equivalent of roughly 5 years in human reckoning. If you want to know my ratio, it is as follows:

20 years/5-6 years, 40 years/10-11 years, 60 years/15-16 years, 80 years/20-21 years

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Tolkiens


My Brothers Lullaby

Remembering The Fragments Of A Life


The Toddler didn't want to get into the coracle. He fussed and cried much to the dismay of his older companion.

"Please you must! Now please, come on and get in!"

The Toddler sensed the hysteria in the others voice and quieted his cries and stared at his companion as he looked around frantically, his golden hair flying about his face, catching the sunlight. The Toddler giggled at the sight as he was made to get in the boat. The Golden One hushed him harshly and the Toddler began to cry again. The Golden one winced and hushed him again, more gently this time, before giving out whispered rushed instructions.

"You must not leave the boat until it has completely stopped moving, you understand me? Then you have to find shelter that-"

A high pitched scream cut off The Golden One's words. The two of them looked at each other wide eyed with fear and The Toddler began to wail. The Golden One gathered him up and began to whisper a song.

May there always be angels to watch over you
To guide you each step of the way
To guard you
And keep you
Safe from all harm
Looli
Looli
Lailey

The Toddler calmed down as he heard the familiar song sung to him. The Golden One took the opportunity of the younger's resistance and laid him in the boat and kissed the The Toddler's forehead and whispered quietly,

"I love you Kili."

And with that The Golden One shoved the little coracle into river. The Toddler sat up and clung to the edge of the boat and watched as The Golden One turned and ran away without so much as a backwards glance.

"Why yoo wanna weeve me Fi-"

"Kian! It's time to get up and start the day!"

My eyes flew open at the interruption. I groaned and rolled over, and flung the covers off me as I did so. I had almost heard the name this time. All I had had all these years was the elusive sound 'Fee' to go by. I growled frustrated, I couldn't hardly remember anything of my life before my guardian had found me, half dead on a river bank. It had been at least ten years since then. I suppose I had been happy back then before I came to live here, in my memories I had seemed to be. But I could only remember snatches, fragments of the life I had once had. The smell of bacon, bergamot tea, and apple tarts in the morning. Sunshine dancing on a green hillside, sweet laughter on the wind. The captivating sight of swirling pipesmoke in a large room. Lullabies in the night, stories in the morning, and the elusive golden 'Fee'. He had no face in my book of memories, only a voice, for his voice had been my own then. A voice that had told others of my thoughts, my needs, and my wants. A voice that had told me tales of distant lands and people. A voice that had sung me lullabies. The voice that had sung me my brother's lullaby...The voice of my brother...I could remember nothing else after that, only my brother and the lullaby he had sung to me. I must have been musing over my dream for awhile because I heard my name being called again.

"Kian, if you aren't in here within the next five minutes, I won't be saving you any breakfast!"

I jumped up and dressed quickly at the threat, despite the fact that I knew it would remain only a threat no matter how much time I took. Jerking the door open, I raced through the hall and skidded to a halt in front of the kitchen table, slightly out breath. My guardian, Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag-End, looked up from his pocketwatch and glared at me disapprovingly, though the effect was somehow dampened by the joyous twinkle in his eyes.

"I do believe that you have been instructed to not run in the halls. A boy your age should know better!" Bilbo began in a tone of mock severity. "And you are fifteen seconds late. You are lucky that I am as generous as I am, lesser hobbits would not have been so kind to have waited for you and cleaned the table bare by now!"

I could not help it, I burst out laughing as did Bilbo. When our chuckles had finally subsided, Bilbo gestured to the table.

"Come on, we had better eat before it all gets cold." he smiled again.

"You know it's funny to hear you call me a 'boy' when I'm older than you!" I laughed as I sat down. "I'm forty-two!"

"Which is the equivalent to a hobbit lad of about ten. So I am older in maturity and shall continue to call you my boy!" smiled Bilbo.

I grinned back and turned my attention to the food laden table. My stomach did a flip flop when I noticed what Bilbo had made. Eggs and bacon, cinnamon buns, and apple tarts with bergamot tea. Ordinarily this wouldn't have triggered any response, but my dream and scattered memories were still too fresh in my mind and I felt a pang of homesickness that I didn't understand. I swallowed hard as my appetite fled me. All the same I followed Bilbo's lead and sat down and filled my plate. I couldn't eat with the same enthusiasm that I normally did and only picked at the food on my plate.

"Nice to know that you can't get enough of my cooking." chided Bilbo teasingly. "Come on, eat up my boy. A growing child like you needs plenty of food!"

"Sorry..." I ate a few more mouthfuls, sinking into thoughtfulness.

It had always seemed strange to me that a young Bilbo Baggins, not even of age as far as hobbits go, and new master of Bag-End, had wanted to take me, a foundling dwarf, into his care just after his parents had died. But from what I had learned from the neighbors, Bilbo had been a little more than distraught over the loss his parents. Some had actually feared that he would lose his mind to grief. And for the longest time, apparently Bilbo's neighbors back then believed that he had, especially when he had suddenly run off 'Into the Blue' as they put it, shortly after the funeral. No one was expecting him to come back with a toddler dwarfling in his arms and a smile on his face. I couldn't say that I wasn't happy that he did. I wouldn't have been alive if he hadn't, but I had always felt a twinge of regret that I had grown up never knowing what it was like to have been raised by my own kind. Still, even if I was in some ways an outsider to the Shire I was certainly not to Bilbo. Hamfast, Bilbo's gardener, had always said that Bilbo was taken with me from the moment he brought me home to Bag-End, and that it was because of me that Bilbo was able to overcome, or at least lay aside, his grief over his parents. I suppose that it made sense, that Bilbo would find a small ray of hope from his dark world of grief upon finding me, and cling to that hope. Whether or not that was true, I only had the word of Hamfast to go by, and though it was probably true, I would most likely never know for certain. It was really of no matter though, if Bilbo was inclined to keep this matter to himself, I would respect his privacy, it was the least I could do since he had given me a home. And besides I had my own fair share of secrets I kept from him as well.

I liked the name Kian, it was a dwarven name, and Bilbo had told me that it meant 'one of noble birth', though I had later found that another more common meaning of the name was 'Hope', and as nice as it was, it wasn't mine. I soundlessly whispered my name. It felt funny on my tongue: Kili. I smiled to myself. No matter what I had been called for all these years, I was Kili the dwarf, not Kian of Bag-End. I couldn't remember anymore as to why I didn't tell Bilbo my real name back then. Maybe it was my secretive dwarf nature coming out. All I would tell him was 'Kee'. Which is no doubt why he picked the best sounding name to match the little information I had given him. I had never told Bilbo anything that I could remember from before he found me. Not of the sunshine, the wind, my brother 'Fee', or the lullaby. Those precious few memories were mine and mine alone. They were the treasure that I guarded most covetously. I smiled to myself, how like a dwarf to hide his gold and gems away from even his family. I don't know how long I sat there staring at my plate, but it was Bilbo's voice that awakened me from my thoughts.

"You know, I was thinking we should go on another walking holiday, what do you think of that?" Bilbo smiled as my face lit up.

In truth I knew that Bilbo had planned no such thing, but walking holidays were something that both myself and Bilbo loved.

"Maybe we'll meet some elves, and they'll help me hone my archery skills!"

Even as I said it I inwardly winced, even with my limited knowledge of dwarves, I knew no self respecting dwarf should associate themselves with elves, and certainly not take lessons from one. Of course I had already imputed my honor as a dwarf when I took up the bow. I inwardly shrugged that might have made a difference had I been brought up with other dwarves, but as I had not, it was really of no consequence. Bilbo only laughed at my words.

"Well, I suppose you ought to eat some more don't you? You'll have no strength for it if you don't."

I picked up my fork and began to shovel down my food, my previous inability to eat forgotten at the prospect of a walking holiday, which made Bilbo laugh at me again, before reprimanding me lightly to eat slower, which I reluctantly did. Though I still cleared my plate in record time before I jumped up and all but ran to my room to get ready. I snatched up my bow and quiver, and stuffed a few items into rucksack that I knew I would need. I hurriedly raced back to the kitchen where Bilbo was still sitting. He laughed and told me to wait for him in the outer hall while he got ready himself. I snorted at him as I went and sat of Bilbo's mother's glory bow to begin my rather impatient wait in the hall.


A/N: I hope that this has begun to clarify things a bit for all of you readers! I would very much like to thank the two guest reviewers that helped to point out the problems and offer solutions to those problems, for this story.

Firstly, I would like to thank ShiningBlueStars for pointing out the inconsistencies in Kian's and Bilbo's relationship. Thank you for the criticism. I appreciate it! :) I hadn't realized that I had made the relationship between Kian and Bilbo inconsistent. Sometimes it takes another's eyes to notice things like that. So thank you for pointing it out to me! I honestly wouldn't have seen it you hadn't. :) I was trying to bring out that while Kian loves Bilbo dearly and feels that he belongs with Bilbo, that he also feels that he belongs with these dwarves as well, because Kian had met them when he was younger and feels that connection with them, even though he can't remember it. I was also trying to bring out Kian's young, brash and impulsive behavior and that while he had been raised by a hobbit he was truely a Dwarf at heart. :) I do see your point though, and I'll see what I can do to continue to find that happy balance while clarifying Bilbo's and Kian's relationship so that there is no doubts in anyone's mind! :) Thank you again for the criticism. :)

Secondly, I would also like to thank Different Guest for pointing out a few things and offering so many solutions and sparking so many ideas for me. I do believe that this will definitely help keep the flow of the story going in the direction that I wanted it to, and still keep the relationships between the dwarves and Kian and Bilbo clear. Thank you so much, I really appreciate everything that you did for me as well! :)

Thirdly, I would like to thank all the readers that have stuck by the story despite the delay! Thank you all so much, you are the best. :D

Just one more thing though. If any of you guest reviewers did indeed have an account, then please review as yourself and not as a guest. I would like to discuss things out with my readers, espescially if there is something that I am doing wrong and doesn't make sense to the reader or that the reader thinks should be better. Like I said, it sometimes takes another's eyes to see something that could be better. So Thanks again! And please don't be afraid to review as yourself even if it is negative! I learn from negative criticism! :)

Thanks again! :)