Disclaimer
What is the effing need for this when this entire fanfic is really just one long disclaimer? XD
If I Owned the Prince of Tennis:
1: Kabaji would have more speaking lines.
2: He would have more days off from Atobe, too.
3: Marui would eventually get high on insulin shots.
4: Niou would trick Kirihara into taking the shots.
5: Shishido and the older Kisarazu twin would not have had the same first name.
6: Neither would have Yagyuu, Wakato, and Chinen.
7: Shitenhouji Chuu would have been located in the Kantou Region instead. (So that we would have watched them way earlier into the series!)
8: Rikkai Dai would be the lead protagonist school of TeniPuri.
9: Hyoutei would be the lead protagonist school of TeniPuri.
10: Fudoumine would be the lead protagonist school of TeniPuri.
11: Higa Chuu would be the lead protagonist school of TeniPuri.
12: Damn—any school but Seigaku!
13: Horio would have even less than two years tennis experience.
14: Sanada and Yukimura would be an Officially Named Pair.
15: As a doubles combination, and as Mr. and Mrs. Sanada.
16: Even better—Mr. and Mrs. Yukimura.
17: We would get to watch Akutsu getting drenched all over. (So that we would see him with his hair down. Wait—save some of that water for Momo!)
18: When their lazy bum of a coach ditches them for a nap, Shitenhouji would pass Koharu off as his replacement.
19: The tennis authorities would find out that Yuuji is Coach Koharu's lover. Or ex. It all depends on whether Momo and Kaidoh are within bird's-eye view of them at the time.
20: There would be even more sensei-student scandals in TeniPuri. After all, Hanamura's single. And so is Sakaki.
21: Dan would beat the crap out of Ryoma.
22: King Atobe would have owned Prince Ryoma, too.
23: Heck, any one of his opponents really should have crushed the snarky pipsqueak!
24: Gakuto would have a haircut.
25: Or he and Jackal would get together sometime to shop for wigs.
26: An would date Kirihara. (And we would watch the adorably jealous Kamio in action.)
27: Sakuno would date Kintarou.
28: Momo and Ryoma have each other, anyway.
29: Fuji and Yuuta would have never left Chiba and instead attended Rokkaku Chuu.
30: Rokkaku would have kicked Seigaku into the next century.
31: Tezuka would not have a Zone, a Phantom, or any other humanly impossible tennis move named after him and his forefathers.
32: Sanada and Yanagi would not have the same sideburns.
33: Taka-san would be a member of the TeniPuri family.
34: Naughty Ryoma and Momoko would catch Grandma and Grandpa even naughtier in bed.
35: Oh, but they have yet to see their Oishi-mama left alone in the house with their cute little pet Nekomaru.
36: Not to mention their father with his favorite child Kaoru-chan.
37: Kirihara's family would be the protagonists for several chibi episodes.
38: Shitenhouji would have the most dysfunctional chibi family of all.
39: Mizuki would be the domestic helper of the whole TeniPuri chibi neighborhood. (He's got the broom and the maid outfit down already…)
40: Shishido would have a growth spurt. At least for him to be able to look his beloved Choutarou in the eye without having to tiptoe.
41: Teams other than Higa would go sleeveless.
42: Yukimura would have been admitted to a hospital that offers blue clothes for its patients to wear. Green just didn't suit him.
43: Yanagisawa would swim in a pond with his own kind.
44: We would get to see Echizen Rinko's present face.
45: Eiji would get his own pet to name after Oishi. Or he could just draw on an egg.
46: Kurobane and Dabide would get a slapstick stand-up gig at a local comedy bar.
47: Never mind. Dabide might die of excessive kicking.
48: Jirou would sleep in Atobe's arms.
49: Zaizen would have gotten to play against Tezuka that time.
50: Miyuki and Kurumi would meet and then see Tezuka and Fuji together. We would finally have yaoi fangirls in TeniPuri. Or newly converted lesbians. Or gory suicide scenes.
51: Nanjirou would finally understand why his sesshounen isn't interested in porn.
52: Kamio would play tennis to the rhythm of Caramelldansen. (Let's see just how long it'll take for him to collapse in a hip-broken heap on the court.)
53: Tezuka, Sanada, Inui, and the other Constipated Asses of TeniPuri (CATs)—copyright Mikageshi, 2009—would all dance to Caramelldansen.
54: Fuji would go on a pool tournament. (Pool meaning billiards. Though I wouldn't mind watching him in nothing but swimming trunks more often…)
55: Kajimoto would totally own a limbo contest.
56: And in the name of switching identities with Yagyuu as best he can, Niou would take up golf.
57: Dan WILL get even cuter.
58: Akutsu WILL notice.
59: Don't we all just love a fluffy romance between a hardcore seme with a soft spot for an oh-so-glompable uke?
60: TeniPuri would be Suitable Only for Mature Audiences. (Isn't it already? XD)
61: Sengoku would be Irish.
62: We would get to watch Kaidoh Hazue take the entrance exam for junior high. (Anywhere but Seigaku!)
63: Mizuki would go out with Yumiko.
64: And realize that he doesn't swing that way.
65: And eventually woo the member of the beautiful Fuji family who is least likely to ever want him.
66: May you rest in pieces, Mizuki Hajime.
67: Akazawa would finally get to play his role as buchou of the Saint Rudolph Tennis Club.
68: Oishi and Eiji would educate their successors Kachirou and Katsuo on the art of Tennis as a Metallic Pair.
69: Kirihara would be the lone regular of the Rikkai Dai Tennis Club.
70: Until the non-regulars of Rikkai master Muga no Kyouchi. (Well, good luck with that.)
71: Ryoma and Marui would be friends, bonded by a mutual love for masticating bubblegum.
72: Though he didn't chew it, Momo WILL find green bubblegum in his own mouth someday.
73: Atobe would be awed by Hiyoshi's gekokujyou prowess.
74: A railroad station manager would hire Itsuki as Official Train Sound Effect.
75: A doctor would finally come clean and diagnose Tezuka's injury as what it really is: a classic case of tennis elbow.
76: Ryoma and Kevin WILL have that one-set match in the nude.
77: So will Ryoma and Ryoga.
78: Atsushi's hair would grow again, and we wouldn't be able to tell him and Ryou apart.
79: Nah. We aren't as dumb as the late Mizuki Hajime.
80: Oshitari, Yagyuu, Inui, Tezuka, Kite, and Yanagi would have a Push Your Glasses up the Bridge of Your Nose contest.
81: And Yanagi would shock us all.
82: Fuji, Shishido, and Chitose of Tachikirita and Oishi, Kite, and Gin of STONES would fight over which musical quartet-slash-boyband gets to keep Shiraishi.
83: Of course STONES would win. They've got the badass Kite on their side.
84: Unless Fuji sweet-talks Tezuka to defeat Kite in The Ultimate Pillow Fight: Duel to the Death.
85: Inui would concoct a new signature Juice that makes its drinker suck at tennis.
86: Bottoms up, TeniPuri Cast List!
87: While Inui recovers from his multiple beatings and whips up an antidote, a new OVA entitled Prince of Gymnastics would feature the boys in leotards. An Oishi episode.
88: Mizuki would flip in his grave for not being in the new episode. Oh, wait. He can't flip. He's hanging upside down where he is.
89: Eiji would run out of his favorite toothpaste again. But luckily, there's an unopened tube in the grocery bag. Hm. It looks minty.
90: Fuji would be happy to receive a gift of a one-time-only used tube of wasabi paste from a red-eyed, swollen-mouthed Eiji.
91: Fuji would take a Tezuka fully equipped with fishing gear on a date… in the desert. (Well, he wants his beloved Mitsu to get in on the cactus craze, too.)
92: Karupin would leave Ryoma for Kaidoh.
93: Ryoma would give up tennis just to win Karupin back.
94: Sengoku would find a hundred-yen bill on the street, spend it on a spin-the-wheel type lottery, win a trip around the world, meet a drop-dead gorgeous exotic foreign chick, invite her back to his hotel room, and run to the nearest pharmacy to buy some "protection." Oho, he's real lucky tonight! Except for that speeding car that just ran over him on his way back…
95: We WILL find out the brand of Ore-sama's shimmering pink lip gloss.
96: The Seigaku regulars would finally walk in on Ryuzaki-sensei drawing sizzling hot yaoi doujinshi of them.
97: We would learn that Kintarou was actually a native in a remote, faraway jungle.
98: Raised by wild beasts.
99: I can't think of a 99th idea. The 100th one is purging all my blood down my nose.
And finally…
100: Steamy shower scenes would abound. I'd DEFINITELY make sure of that. XD
What about if YOU owned PoT? Quick, tell me in a Review! I'll post 'em up here—with due credit to you, of course—along with 101 onwards. Go~!
