Growing Up

By Sarga

Written June to November 2008

Posted November 6, 2008

Description: Naraku defeated, Kagome realizes that half-demon Inuyasha will always remain the boy she met, timelessly unageing. Kagome must choose between letting him go and staying by his side. Can he forgive her if she goes? Can she forgive herself if she stays?


Chapter 1 – Realizations

Kagome turned her face upward, her eyes closed, as she basked in the sun's warmth. In a couple of hours Inuyasha would be taking her to see Sango, Miroku and their family at the rebuilt demon slayer village. Shippo, who had chosen to live with and 'protect' the couple as they rebuilt a community of demon slayers, was enjoying the stability that his new home provided. Kagome was content in the knowledge that he would be safe there, able to grow surrounded by friends and family.

Ever since Naraku had been destroyed and the Jewel of Four Souls reformed, Kagome, Inuyasha and, for a time, Sango, Miroku and Shippo had spent their days pursuing lesser demons who had emerged from hiding upon hearing of Naraku's ultimate demise.

It was only when Sango, cheeks red and eyes downcast, had announced that she was pregnant that the group dynamic had changed. Miroku, no longer forced to hide his desire for the woman he loved, became more obviously protective. Shippo, seeing a loving, stable (or as stable as he had seen in a while, at least) relationship, had taken to hovering around the pair like a mother hen protecting her chicks.

Making the hard decision to move back to her home village for the duration of her pregnancy, Sango had been surprised to find that her friends were so willing to join her. Of course she had expected the companionship of her lover and the father of her future child, however when even Inuyasha had stayed to help her patch up her dilapidated home she had been overjoyed. For seven months the group stayed at the village, Miroku and Inuyasha or Inuyasha and Kagome making day-long or week-long excursions to nearby communities to eliminate demon attackers.

Kagome smiled softly, thinking of the three years that had passed since the birth of their first child. Of course Inuyasha had grown restless after being cooped up in one place for so long (even if he did make frequent trips to slaughter nearby demons) and had inevitably left, forcing Kagome to choose between remaining with her friends or following after her heart's desire. She had followed Inuyasha, as she always knew she would, but it had not been an easy journey.

Shaking her head of the less pleasant thoughts, Kagome's smile was renewed and she lowered her face and opened her eyes. Standing from her seated position, Kagome rose and began to pack her things into her fraying but intact yellow backpack. She poured water over the remaining embers of the previous night's fire, stirring it through absent-mindedly with a stick. Things had changed so much since she had turned fifteen six years earlier. So much had changed except for the well, Shippo's youthful exuberance and Inuyasha. That last thought made Kagome's frown return.

Inuyasha.

He had not changed, not one iota, since the death of Naraku. No, it seemed that all growth, both physical and emotional was stunted. He was still the teenage half demon with trust issues, still the same boy she had met those years ago, with the same hopeless desire for the once again deceased Kikyo. Kagome, however, was not the same girl. Indeed she was a woman, and no matter how hard she tried to look at it from another angle, she always came up with the same observation. She was getting older and he was not.

Kagome's thoughts were forced into painful places as she revisited thoughts of her ageing self. Sure she was still young and vibrant, but how long until she would be unable to keep up with him? How long until she was physically limited by bones that were no longer resilient in their youth. The average life expectancy in this time was, what, her mid-forties? She was already middle age here and no closer to obtaining the affections of her heart's desire. Every day that passed reminded her painfully of how much further she was moving away from being able to attract his loving attention. The dark thoughts seemed to be driving her toward a mid-life crisis, although perhaps not the same type she had come to expect from her own era.

Kagome's melancholy was cut short at the sound of rustling branches above and she let the recurring thoughts slide from her head yet again. Smiling brilliantly, Kagome greeted her half demon companion.

"You got everything, wench?" Inuyasha demanded roughly.

Nodding her head in ascent, the pair began their daily ritual. Kagome climbed onto Inuyasha's back and he took flight. She made intermittent comments on the beautiful scenery, a grunt or huff his only reply. Eventually they came to a village and Inuyasha landed downwind on the outskirts, taking a deep breath before deciding whether to accompany Kagome within the borders of the village. Admiring the view of the forest as she waited for his assessment of the safety of the area, Kagome was relieved to find him wave her onward.

"You go ahead, I'll get us some lunch," Inuyasha dismissed her, meaning the area was safe and she would have a few hours to barter in the village for items that would do for Sango and Miroku's gifts.

Pleased to find a bustling village teaming with laughter, children and life, Kagome found the perfect gift to accompany her modern selections. She chose for the pair a bolt of durable yet colourful cloth, haggling down the price until both herself and the vendor were satisfied. That was added to her modern offerings of an all-metal butane lighter for those stubborn cold nights when the fire just wouldn't catch, chocolate to occupy the children, kitty treats for Kirara, a ten-kilogram bag of rice for the village (Inuyasha had protested that one, arguing that she was slow enough without all that extra baggage, but they had reached a compromise whereby he carried the supplies and she went on foot without complaint) and, of course, some 'ninja snacks' for her warriors.

Leaving the village with more to add to their heavy load, Kagome was grateful that the slayer's village was only a half a day's journey on foot, meaning if Inuyasha got impatient, it would only take an hour or two as the dog-demon flew. Inuyasha grunted in mock disgust at her overloaded form, slinging some of the more unwieldy items across the impossibly balanced pile on his back.

"What do ya think, that we're hoarding for the winter?"

It was the only complaint he made, mostly just out of habit, and Kagome was again left to her own thoughts as they proceeded in amiable silence. The pair followed a well-traveled path for about an hour before branching off of the path into a seemingly dense undergrowth of shrub and roots. While it appeared impassible, it was actually quite the opposite, foliage forming an intimidating-looking path much like a stairway, reinforced to hold the weight of several humans without mishap. Continuing past the 'barrier' for another few hours, Kagome was thrilled to spot the evident cooking fires of Sango's village in the distance. Kagome's grin widened as she approached and it was all she could do not to break out in a run once she saw the village's high wall. The only thing that stopped her was the thought of the town guards who were very good shots and under the standing order to shoot intruders on sight without warning.

As the pair neared the front gate, Kagome was thrilled to see Sango run out to meet her. Or at least, Sango was running as fast as a six-month pregnant woman could run – it seemed she and the monk had once again been busy in her absence. Kagome's heart felt a small pang of jealousy for the family Sango had, but she quickly pushed it aside in favour of a joyful reunion with her sister-in-arms.

Pushing past the blubbering females, Inuyasha presented Kagome's gifts without preamble, dropping them in the monk's arms by way of greeting.

"Kagome got this for you. She got some other stuff in her pack too, dunno what though." His simple message dispatched, Inuyasha retreated to one of the guard towers, relieving the human of his post as he took up watch in his place.

"Lady Kagome, it is a great pleasure to see you in our presence once more. It would honour us greatly if you would stay these next months to oversee the birth of our next child." Miroku bowed formally as he requested her aid, not as a friend but as a healer priestess. Her knowledge of the birthing process had greatly eased Sango's labour pains the first time.

Kagome bowed back in response, no longer fearing the wandering hand of her Monk friend – he had had that tendency beaten out of him once he found he could grope his beloved whenever he desired... so long as they were in private. She assented to his request, knowing that Inuyasha would make a token protest but would leave her be until after the birth. It would be much the same as last time, she was sure, with Inuyasha disappearing for a few days at a time only to return with demon skins, claws, talons and teeth for the village to use to forge new weaponry and armour.

Much the same as it always was with Inuyasha.

Kagome sighed wearily as she headed to her 'home', one reserved for her early on in the village's rebuilding efforts. Kagome had chosen the building nearest to Sango's. Seeing as it was the smallest and that she used it so infrequently, it had become a storehouse of sorts for the village. While there were indeed a lot of stored items in the hut, it still had plenty of room for herself and Inuyasha. Despite the villagers association with Sango, Inuyasha still refused to sleep in the open among them; demon slayers, it seemed, put the half demon on edge.

Kagome entered her 'home', placing her pack in its own special corner and began to rifle through for the gifts. Pulling each item out and placing it carefully in front of her, she made sure everything was in place before she took the lighter, kitty treats and most of the chocolate to her friend in her home.

Knocking on the door frame as she entered, Kagome was thrilled to see Sango look positively radiant.

"I'm so glad to see you again, Kagome. It's been too long. Sit! Tell me about what's been going on these past months." Sango waggled her eyebrows suggestively – a trick she picked up from the monk no doubt – and caused Kagome to blush furiously before returning a melancholy frown.

"Absolutely nothing," Kagome dead-panned and it hurt her more than she thought it would to admit out loud. Kagome had spoken of her feelings to her friend and confidante, but even Sango's advice on the mating habits of higher demons did nothing to clear the way toward her ultimate goal. A rogue tear escaped, trailing down her cheek before it was angrily swiped away.

"I... I've been thinking a lot about it actually," Kagome sighed. "That's why I wanted to come here. I didn't know you were pregnant," Kagome paused, giving her almost-sister a genuine smile. "Congratulations, by the way. You two must be keeping pretty busy." Kagome laughed as she saw her friend turn a shade darker than normal.

"It hasn't been easy to find time, but we manage."

Kagome burst out laughing at her friend's blunt statement, almost forgetting the cause of her sorrow... almost.

After a time, Kagome's mood again faltered and she was left to face the truth of her thoughts over the past months. She would have to make a decision. Stay, knowing that Inuyasha would always be out of her reach, or leave and provide herself with the possibility of starting her own family in the future. Either way she would be lacking in some key aspect of her life.

Kagome expressed her thoughts to Sango, keeping her voice as low as she could for fear of prying ears.

"I tried talking to him about it, but we always end up arguing." Kagome averted her eyes as she admitted the embarrassment. "Last time, I sat him and ended up going home for a week. I'm going to give it one more shot," Kagome took a shaky breath before stating her decision aloud. "If he can't provide me with what I need, then I'm going to leave and seal the well behind me."

Sango, her eyes wide, whispered her support, despite the loss she would incur from her sister moving on with her life elsewhere.

Trying to lighten both of their heavy hearts, Kagome forced herself into a cheerful smile.

"Of course I'll stay for your birth," she chirped.

Her consolation, however, made them both feel a little more hollow than expected, knowing it would be only a few short months before Kagome would be with her heart's desire or out of their lives forever.

Somehow, both suspected she wouldn't be around come winter.

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To Be Continued...

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Please read and review

~Sarga