So Long, Sherlock

Ch.1

More then Paranoia

I do not own the Sherlock TV series or Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, they belong to their wonderful creators.

A/N: My third fanfic!This is a funny fanfiction combining two of my favorite obsessions. Not to be taken too seriously. Takes place during the 5th Hitchhiker's book, So long and Thanks for all the Fish. There will be some Slash later on, but not what you'd expect.

Enjoy ( ;

Sherlock didn't know what was going on. And Sherlock did not like not knowing what was going, not at all.

He couldn't help but feel that something was happening, something big was happening, something huge something, and no one was telling him about it. Like something so stupendously unbelievable had happened that was so earth-shattering that the human race itself refuses to believe that it ever happened at all and they just went ahead with their day to day lives like nothing had happened at all and the Earth was just fine after-all. Ordinary people would just pass this off as common everyday paranoia, but Sherlock Holmes wasn't ordinary people.

Where the sudden feeling came from he wasn't sure, he was just bored, on a Thursday afternoon, playing his violin, Ludwig Van Beethoven's Symphony No.7 in A Major, when all of a sudden it hit him. He abruptly stopped playing and turned to Watson who had just stepped out of the shower and was wearing a blue-striped bath robe.

"Watson, something is happening, something big is happening, something huge is happening and no one is telling me about it!"

Watson just looked at his flat-mate blankly.

"Oh?" he simply replied starting to dry his hair with the towel around his shoulder looking into the mirror. "And what's that?"

"I told you John! I don't know!"

"Oh," Watson paused too look at his flat-mate again. It was awfully difficult to fallow Holmes at times, he seemed to skip to one thing from another and he had a way of saying things that flew right over your head and made you feel foolish when he expected you to answer. "is this...is this about a case?"

"Lord no Watson, this is bigger then a case! This is about the whole world, no the whole galaxy, life, the universe, and everything!"

"Oh, Ummm...do you think this had something to do with Moriarty?"

Sherlock sighed, "I don't know..."

"Oh." said Watson, who was really starting to feel like no help, he had said a simply 'Oh' for an answer at least three times already and usually by this far in the conversation John would have some idea about what was going on.

He sighed, sitting down in the stuffed chair near Sherlock he asked, "Sherlock, I'm sorry but I don't thing I fallow."

"It's just...I feel like something so stupendously unbelievable has happened that was so earth-shattering that the human race itself refuses to believe that it ever happened at all and that we're all just going ahead with our day to day lives like nothing has happened at all and the Earth is just fine after-all."

"Ohhh," replied Watson understandingly, "I think I know what's going on."

"You do?"

"Yeah," replied Watson, "Common everyday paranoia, everybody gets it, I wouldn't think to much about it."

Sherlock slammed his violin onto the table. John was amazed that he had managed not break it.

"I am not paranoid!" he shouted, "I don't get paranoid! You know me Watson, you know that I wouldn't waste my time on trifling mind tricks! When I think something big is happening there is a 85% chance that I will sense it and a 95% percent chance that I'm not wrong!"

John thought this over for a minute, "Well, what about that tiny 5%..."

"I'M NOT PARANOID!"

"O...K...then...are you sure I mean, it has been a long time since you've had a case..."

"Look, was I paranoid when I proved that the triple suicide was actually a serial killer. And was I being paranoid when I connected Bluebell the glowing rabbit to the experiments in the nuclear power plant, and was it paranoia or my intellectual strength that knew that Moriarty was behind those missing children!" he paused and took a deep breath.

"John," Sherlock said pleadingly, "You have to believe me, I mean, I just know, you know..."

John sighed, yes he did know, there where countless occasions where John had to trust his own gut in saving his friend. Using his instinct to figure him out, and Sherlock did seem to know what he was doing 95% percent of the time.

"Fine then, your not just paranoid, so, what are we going to do about it?"

Sherlock's frown seemed to go deeper into his face, "I don't know?"

John smiled, "That's usually my line, and you've said it...twice now, I believe?"

"Three times." corrected Sherlock annoyingly, "and don't get too used to it, I mean to get to the bottom of this."

"Of what?"

"I don't...I'm not sure...yet."