Okay! I hope you like it! Please be nice but I would LOVE some reviews! I'm still new at this and am really nervous! Be nice, please! It's probably a bit OOC and I am very sorry…
I do not own Big Time Rush, or anything like that… Though I wish I did! Okay… Here goes nothing…
James wrapped his arms around Kendall and smiled. They started dancing as Logan stood to the side and watched. Kendall smiled back at James and kissed his cheek, but James wasn't happy with just that. He pulled Kendall closer to him and kissed him. Logan felt that usual pang in his gut but did nothing other than take a drink from his beer. What could he do? James and Kendall were together now. They have been happy for month, but it didn't seem like time could help the pain Logan felt every time he saw Kendall kiss James. Nothing could.
Why do you always get so upset? You let it happen. Logan thought to himself. He was the one who introduced Kendall and James when Kendall had first moved to California. He should have known that was a bad idea. He knew James, and he should have known James would go for Kendall.
And yet here he was, watching them hang all over each other while he stood, debating on getting hammered or not. The pros of getting completely drunk were strong and getting stronger by the minute. He quickly drowned down the last of his first beer and went to go order another one. He had made up his mind.
"They seem to be having fun." Someone said beside Logan as he waited for his other beer. It was Carlos, a good friend of Logan's who had a huge crush on James. When James and Kendall started dating Carlos was crushed. But he didn't let it show, no one saw it but Logan.
"Yep." Logan muttered. The bartender arrived with Logan's other beer. He grabbed it and took a long drink, staring at James and Kendall.
"What are you doing? Are you trying to get drunk?" Carlos asked, eyeing Logan suspiciously.
Logan just nodded in response. There was no reason to lie, Carlos already knew. He looked at Logan for a bit longer than simply turned and looked at James and Kendall just as Logan was.
"They're sucking each other's faces off." Logan muttered bitterly.
Carlos sighed and took Logan's drink. "No more. You're the responsible one, remember? It's just sad if I'm more reasonable than you, Logan. What has gotten into you? You had your chance and you didn't take it. Neither of us took the chances we had. But I'm not going to let losing my chance of possibly having James as my own put me down. You shouldn't either."
Logan looked at his friend. Carlos was right, of course. Logan has had plenty of chances to ask Kendall out. He had known Kendall before almost anyone, but he had been too afraid and hadn't taken the chance. But for one night Logan wanted to have a pity party.
He pouted when he realized Carlos wouldn't be giving him his drink back. There went his plans.
"We should dance! We deserve to at least have some fun!" Carlos suggested, giving Logan his innocent grin.
Logan thought about it for a minute and agreed. Maybe some dancing will get his mind off of it all. He nodded to Carlos and they headed to the dance floor.
It was actually really fun for a while. Logan was even starting to feel better until James and Kendall walked their way.
"Logan! Carlos!" James giggled, clinging to Kendall's arms.
Kendall smiled, showing off the dimples Logan loved.
"Hey." Logan muttered. He quickly looked away from Kendall, to where Kendall's little sister, Katie, was taking bets for who knew what. Logan had learned to never bet with Katy. She was young but brilliant.
"Hey guys!" Carlos said, grinning. The smile didn't reach his eyes.
"You guys seem to be having fun!" James grinned. Logan knew what James was thinking.
James hoped something was going on between Carlos and Logan. Does James remember nothing? Logan and Carlos had already tried that and it hadn't worked out. They decided it wasn't working and to just be friends and that had actually worked out a lot better. It was just a simple break up. No one cheated; no one had a dirty secret. Logan could see the feelings Carlos had for James and had told Carlos he completely understood. And he did. They both knew they weren't really into the relationship and ended it quickly with no mess. They were still close, if not closer than before.
But obviously James thought they could be getting back together. He could be really blind sometimes. If James wanted to see it, he would, if he didn't want to see it then he wouldn't. That was just the James way.
"Yep, just hanging out." Logan tried to smile but found it very hard.
"Are you okay, Logan?" Kendall asked, worried.
"Fine." Logan mumbled.
"Probably too much to drink! Logan always was a depressing drunk!" James said with a giggle.
"Yeah, that's it." Logan said, almost emotionless. "Too much to drink."
"Well I haven't had enough!" James said. He was already tipsy. "Logan, Kendall, why don't you go get me and Carlos some drinks?"
"N-no I don't…" Carlos tried to decline.
"Nonsense! You need to drink something!" James interrupted. He was defiantly drunk; James was usually very protective of Carlos and didn't even let him drink much.
"It'll be light, don't worry." Logan whispered to Carlos.
Carlos nodded and smiled. "Thank you." He whispered back.
Logan and Kendall slowly started to make their way to the bar.
"Are you having fun?" Kendall asked. Logan could barely hear him over the noise of the people and music.
Logan nodded. "Yeah, sure."
Kendall knew better but didn't push Logan. "Good, I'm having fun too. I love hanging out with you guys." Kendall grinned, showing off his dimples again. Logan sighed at the weird feeling that shot through his gut that he always got when Kendall smiled. Everything about Kendall made Logan feel that way.
Thankfully before Logan could say something he would regret they got to the bar.
"I want to get James something light. He's getting a bit out of control." Kendall said, smiling.
Logan snorted but when Kendall gave him a questioning look Logan just shook his head and looked at the bartender. "Beer please." The bartender nodded and got a beer for him. Logan opened it and looked at Kendall. "Don't tell Carlos." He muttered before taking a long drink.
They got James and Carlos their drinks and headed back. Logan quickly finished his beer before Carlos could see. Once they got back there was a small awkward moment when no one knew exactly what to say. Of course it was James who broke the silence.
"Carlos, we should dance!" James said, grinning at the short latino.
It was obvious Carlos didn't want to dance at the moment but he could never say no to James. He nodded and he and James headed deeper into the dance floor.
Kendall and Logan looked at each other and started to head to the bar to have a seat, neither having to say anything to the other. Logan ordered another beer once they had sat down.
"You okay, Logie?" Kendall asked.
Logan winced at the nickname but just muttered a "yeah, fine," and took another drink.
Kendall gave Logan a small smile and looked out to where James and Carlos were dancing.
"Are you happy, Logan?" Kendall asked, still watching James and Carlos.
Logan answered without really thinking. "No, not right now, not really."
"Well what's wrong?" Kendall asked, looking at Logan now.
Logan muttered at quick answer but Kendall couldn't hear him over the music that just seemed to be getting louder and louder.
"What was that?" Kendall asked, practically yelling now.
It was starting to get hot and the room started to spin. There were too many people; they were bumping into Logan and Kendall. One idiot with a drink fell against Logan and spilled his drink all over Logan.
"Dammit!" He cursed. "It's too damn crowded!" He wasn't sure he could stand being in the bar much longer.
"Want to go outside and get some air?" Kendall asked, reading Logan's mind.
Logan nodded and they headed outside. No one was outside, other than the few people passing by the bar, Logan and Kendall were alone.
Logan leaned against the wall to catch his breath. "Note to self: alcohol is horrible." He muttered.
Kendall chuckled and watched Logan. "You okay?" He asked.
"Peachy," Logan said. He started to slide down the wall, unable to keep himself up.
Kendall ran to his side and held him up. "Are you okay? Can you stand?" Kendall asked, worried.
Logan tried to stand by himself but almost fell again. Kendall caught him again and held him up.
"I'll take that as a no." Kendall said, his arm wrapped tightly around Logan.
Logan sighed and looked at Kendall. "Thanks Kendall… sorry about that I just felt light headed."
Kendall smiled sweetly at Logan. "I didn't mind."
Logan smiled softly and went back to leaning against the wall. "James is lucky to have you. You're a great boyfriend to him. Wish I would've said how I really feel… then maybe I could call you mine." Logan said in his head. Or so he thought it was just in his head. But when he looked back at Kendall he realized he had actually said it out loud. "N-No! I-I'm sorry Kendall!" He stammered at a loss for words.
Through all his rambling Logan hadn't noticed Kendall's expression change from shock to serious. He stepped closer to Logan and kissed him.
Logan froze with shock. Was Kendall really kissing him? Logan's body reacted before his mind had time to catch up. He wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck and kissed him back.
Kendall wrapped his arms around Logan's waist and pulled him close, their bodies pressed together. Logan moaned softly and Kendall's closeness. He couldn't believe this was really happening. Kendall pulled Logan closer and stepped forward so that Logan was caught between the wall and Kendall's body. Logan ran his hands through Kendall's soft blond locks, tugging slightly. Kendall growled deep in his throat and slid his tongue into Logan's mouth, exploring every inch. Tasting him. He moved his hands down to where they were cupping Logan's arse, squeezing.
Logan moaned again. He was a complete mess and they were only kissing. He could only imagine what it would be like to do more with Kendall. To have Kendall thrusting inside of him. Then it hit him.
He was making out with his best friend's boyfriend, in front of a bar. This wasn't right, it needed to stop.
Kendall moved from Logan's lips and worked his way down, kissing, licking and biting along Logan's jaw, to his neck. He began sucking lightly on the tender skin of Logan's neck. Logan could practically feel the mark Kendall was beginning to leave. No. Logan thought. It was like a slap in Logan's face. Oh- what have I done?
"Kendall! S-Stop!" Logan gasped. He tried to pull away but his back just hit the wall. "Kendall, this needs to stop!" He pushed at Kendall and Kendall backed away. Both boys were panting softly. Kendall's face was bright red and Logan would bet his life savings that his was the same way.
"Logan, fuck…. I'm so sorry… I shouldn't have-" Kendall stared at Logan with regret which only stabbed at Logan more.
"You're right, you shouldn't have." Logan whispered. You're Justas much to blame. You should have pushed him away. This is your fault too. Logan thought. He knew it was true. "I have to go." He whispered. He turned from Kendall and walked away.
Kendall watched Logan go. He could still taste Logan on his lips. Kendall ran his hand through his hair in frustration and headed back into the bar. What could he do? He had made a huge mistake. But about what, he needed to figure out.
Even though Logan told himself he wouldn't, he turned around. But Kendall was already gone. Logan turned back around and began walking again, letting his tears fall.
