Disclaimer: Carmen Sandiego belongs to Brøderbund Software, while "It's a Long Way to Tipperary" belongs (unless the copyright has finally expired) to the estates of the late Jack Judge and Harry Williams. Lilongwe belongs to the Republic of Malaŵi, although Carmen seems to think it belongs to her.
A thief snuck into Africa one hot November day
To steal Malaŵi's capital and take it far away.
The city was uprooted and was flung into the air,
And Carmen Sandiego cried to all the people there:
"From Lilongwe to Tipperary
Is a long way to go;
From Lilongwe to Tipperary
Is the road that you shall hoe!
Say goodbye to Malaŵi,
Farewell, Nyasaland:
For Lilongwe goes to Tipperary
At Carmen's command!"
But when she got to Ireland, she was in for a surprise,
For County Tipperary fairly swarmed with private eyes.
Two ACME agents met her as the capital touched down;
They sang this song of triumph as Miss Sandiego frowned:
"From Lilongwe to Tipperary
Is a long way to go,
But Lilongwe and Tipperary
Are both places that we know.
Say goodbye to Slieveardagh,
Farewell, Golden Vale:
For Lilongwe goes back to Malaŵi,
And you're going to jail!"
