Too Old, Too Poor, Too Dangerous and Too Heartbroken

The first time Tonks told me she loved me was during a mission for the Order.

We were keeping surveillance on a known Death Eater, Antonin Dolohov. We were lying on our stomachs on top of a house, across the street from Dolohov's house. Tonks and I had been there for at least two hours and the only movement that had come from the house was Dolohov letting out his cat. Luckily, my boredom was abated by Tonks's chatter. Tonks was the only person, other than Sirius, who I could really talk to. She had a way of making any conversation lighthearted and meaningful.

I knew I shouldn't have allowed myself to become this close to her, but I couldn't help it. She was brave, funny and I found her clumsiness absolutely endearing. How could I not feel lo- I mean affection for the only person who could make the most grizzled auror laugh?

Her talk had turned to members of the Order.

"He's still handsome, isn't he after Azkaban?" she idly remarked.

My heart dropped. "He always got the women," I replied bitterly.

She suddenly rolled on her side, facing me and snapped "You'd know perfectly well who've I've fallen for, if you weren't so busy feeling sorry for yourself!"

Time suddenly stood still and for the briefest moment I felt immeasurable joy. Unfortunately, that moment was ended by the crushing awareness of my reality. I was a werewolf, I had no job, no money, my best friend was a criminal under house arrest and I was at least ten years older than her.

I took a deep breath and softly said, "Don't Tonks. I am too old, too poor, and too dangerous."

And too heartbroken.