A/N: Covert Affairs is the property of USA Networks. I don't own any of the characters in this story except Clara Weinberg.

Chapter 1: Nothing Indecisive about Joan

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Right after she gave birth to Mackenzie, Joan mused about taking a longish maternity leave, reveling in the peace that she and Arthur had finally achieved in their marriage, and then maybe going back to a less stressful position in the company – one that would be 9-to-5 and leave her some time and energy for Mac and Arthur.

That fantasy lasted about a week, and then the real Joan emerged from the maternal cocoon. After three weeks, she told the Director of National Intelligence that she wanted her old job back. After six weeks, she was back at Langley as Director of Clandestine Services. Calder was still Head of the Domestic-Protection Department, and he and Joan were happy to be working together for real. Auggie was back in Jai's old job, Head of Special Projects, but he wasn't loving it; Joan knew she'd have to find a way to make him happy, but she hadn't yet been able to focus on doing so. Too many landmines all over the building (hell, all over the world) were waiting to explode in her face.

Today, the main item on her agenda was a frank talk with Annie. No doubt this would be a painful conversation, but it was one they needed to have before the young operative could go back into the field.

Joan's secretary Olivia knocked, and Joan quickly told her to come in. Olivia entered with Annie, and Joan's head was immediately in the game – 100%. "Annie," she said, "it's great to see you in the office." Mac had been just three days old when Annie first returned from Hong Kong. It was Joan's first day home from the hospital, and she had had to leave the managerial duties surrounding Annie's resurrection and debriefing to Calder. She had met Annie for coffee as soon as she was fully back on her feet, but that had – appropriately – been a purely social event. This was their first professional interaction and their first meeting at Langley.

"It's good to see you, too, Joan," Annie said. "Congratulations on the DCS job. Again."

"Yeah, well, thank you. Again. Oddly enough, I think I'm better prepared now."

Annie shifted in her chair and crossed her legs. She'd been waiting for Joan to drop a bombshell ever since Olivia had called to make the appointment. She was still waiting.

"How are you getting on?," Joan asked. "As DCS, I get regular reports from Medical on everyone in the division. Only the high-level picture; they're careful about respecting people's privacy to the extent possible. I'm told that you're well physically and that you're seeing the psychiatrist every week, still trying to decide whether and when to go back into the field."

"That's about right," Annie said. "I actually can't imagine what I would do around here if I didn't go back into the field, but I'm not ready to go back yet."

Joan leans forward, puts both hands on her desk, and looks at Annie in her best ice-queen fashion. "You're a very talented field operative, Annie, but remember that you were hired for your language skills and cultural knowledge. There's an enormous amount that you could do to serve your country even if you never spent another day in the field."

("Here it comes," Annie thought. "Nice whitewashed version of why I was hired. I guess they've deleted Ben from the official history of the Clandestine-Services Division.")

Annie didn't say anything, however, and Joan continued after a brief pause. "But, no matter what type of work you decide to do, Annie, I won't have you doing it behind my back."

Not exactly a shock. Joan wants all of "her people" to do things by the book – unless Joan tells them to ignore the book. Annie figures she'd better take the bait. "What exactly do you mean, Joan? What did I do wrong?"

"Taking down Henry was a big win, Annie. You were incredibly brave to go after him. But there was an enormous amount of collateral damage that might not have been necessary. You should have come to me – the head of your department – as soon as Henry approached you."

Collateral damage: Teo's death – and Helen's. In Annie's brain, there was a ping-pong match between the urge to lash out at Joan for censuring her and the urge to howl with grief at the violent death of her fellow operatives. The old Annie would simply have stormed out of Joan's office. The new one just sat and listened, overwhelmed by the grim truth that she didn't know where to go or what to do next.

"Does Arthur blame me for Teo's death?," she asked quietly.

"No, Annie, of course not. It's not that simple. Arthur knows that better than any of us. We can't know exactly what would have happened if you hadn't thrown yourself into a deadly, unsanctioned mission."

Maybe play the Auggie card? He's Joan's pet student. "I was on the verge of blowing Henry off that first night, you know. But he made it clear that Auggie had been involved in whatever off-book op Arthur was running in Colombia. I had to protect Auggie."

Joan sat perfectly still, looking sad, stern, and confident. "No, you didn't. Auggie is a cherished member of this division, Annie, and he has been for more years than you have. He's not a child, and it's not your job to `protect' him. Had you come to me as soon as Henry approached you, we could have devised a plan of action that drew on all of the expertise in the division, including Auggie's. The CIA has protocols and chains of command for a reason, Annie. You can't disregard them with impunity, even when your `gut' tells you that you're right. Even when you are right."

Well! Joan had really zeroed in on the pickle they were both in, and Annie had to hand it to her. "Gut calls" could be right, they could be wrong, or they could be the beginnings of long ordeals with mixed-bag outcomes and tons of collateral damage. Annie accepted that and wanted to go with her gut. But Joan wanted to be able to say she'd been "following protocol" when things went wrong.

"You can't be a lone wolf if you're going to work for me, Annie. You have to understand that you're part of an organization. When you take unjustified risks, you don't just risk yourself and your mission – you risk the safety and effectiveness of other people in Clandestine Services and of their missions as well. Some of those are missions that you're not cleared to know about and that might be more important than yours."

Joan yearned to add "and, if you stay with Auggie, you're part of a couple as well as an organization. You can't just jump into the breach and ignore the effect of your actions on him." But she didn't say it, and her face gave no hint that she thought it. She was not about to preach self-control and professionalism but not practice them.

They sat in awkward silence for a few moments. Annie uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. "Where does that leave us?," she asked.

"I don't want to rush you into a decision about the next phase of your career. Take all the time you need, and think seriously about what I've said." Joan said, clearly wanting to wrap things up. "In the meantime, I'd like to give you an assignment that won't have you out in the field but that's extremely important to the company," she said. "Frankly, it's important to the whole world at this time."

Annie was intrigued and wanted to hear more. She looked across the desk at Joan, wishing that she could speak volumes with her eyebrows the way Joan could. "What do you want me to do?," she asked.

"Review the CIA's entire Ukrainian portfolio. Things are changing over there. We still have some people on the ground – not nearly as many as we did during the Cold War but enough to provide valuable intel if we use them right. Some of them have been working Ukrainian-speaking assets, others Russian-speaking assets. Some of our people may be doubles, working part-time for us and part-time for FSB. Whom can we count on if Yanukovic is forced out?"

"OK," Annie said. She was actually pretty jazzed about the prospect of using her Russian without having to shoot anyone or risk being shot. But she gave Joan just a flat "OK."

"Good," Joan said. "You'll be working with Clara Weinberg, an east-Slavic language expert who's been seriously underutilized since the end of the Cold War. Olivia will take you down to the space you and Clara will be sharing. Olivia?"

Olivia appeared with some manila folders and smiled at Annie. "Whenever you're ready, Ms. Walker."

"Now," Annie said. "I'm ready now. Bye, Joan."

"Goodbye, Annie. I think you'll like working with Clara."

TBC

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