So Don't Say Yes


You fix the top of your dress as you hurry into the country club, balancing the cake in your other hand while thanking the staff member that opened the door for you. Rushing to the table, you place the cake down before dashing to the main area and making sure everything is a-ok. With a relieved sigh, you run to your car and hop in, once again checking your belongings. You're her maid of honor, and it's her big day. It's your time to go ahead and fix the past, this time making sure that 'Remember the Croquembouche' isn't the main thing from the that comes from the reception.(You made sure that the bridal shower went smoothly, so now you only have today to make sure that you don't royally screw things up.)

The first thing you hear is your name, yelled in relief, and soon followed by a hug. You laugh with joy as arms wrap around you and a voice rants about their worries. With a reassuring pat of the back, you pull away and look at Karma.

"You'll be amazing. Hell, you look amazing right now! Anyone would die to marry you." You offer a smile, stuffing the sudden wave of jealousy down and instead focusing on her.

"You really think so?" She asks, but you both know the answer to the question, and she returns your smile, going back to hug you again. "I'm so excited Amy! Today's the day, and you're my maid of honor! I couldn't ask for a better day."

She breaks away and returns to her mother so that she can finish her hair. As you stare at her with love filled eyes, you feel someone looking at you. You shift your body slightly and see Karma's mother staring at you. Her eyes convey what she dare not say in Karma's presence. "You should be marrying her." You give her a kind smile, followed by a small shrug. She was always in support of your fake relationship with Karma, seeing you as another daughter, and practically wanting you to be a part of the family in another way.

With that, you leave, heading to the outside arch where the wedding will take place. As people get settled, you take your place in the front of the bridesmaids, waiting for the inevitable events that would occur in the next few minutes.

The violinist and pianist start to play a cover of some song, you guess it's 'their song', and you start to blank out, imagining if this was your wedding. You never got over Karma, not really. You were still best friends even after breaking the fake relationship, but that never meant that your feelings for her stopped. Then there were those drunken nights in college, or the lonely nights, in which the two of you got together and blurred the line between best friends and something more. Those nights gave you hope. Hope that one day the two of you would be together.

As you listen to the priest(or whoever he is. You really don't care) recite the normal lines of a wedding(you never bothered to find out what they're really called), you mind freezes when he says, "...Speak now or forever hold your peace."

You shout "I do!", stepping out of the line of bridesmaids and looking at Karma with desperate loving eyes. "We've been best friends since we were kids, and we've been through thick and thin. As I've loved you ever since then. But I didn't realize I had feelings for you until high school, and I just can't stop thinking about what it would be like if that was me up there, standing right there, across up from you. Why can't you just see that I'm always yours? Why can't you just see that?"

"I do."

The two words break you from your fantasy, and you automatically put on a fake smile. You're frozen though. All through high school(and college), you always dreamed of being there with her, reciprocating her 'I do', telling her your vows. You know that she'll never be your maid of honor, because nobody ever got you like she did, nobody understood your bursts of temper. Nobody made you feel as special as she does.

So when she squeals with delight upon seeing the reception, you just give her a huge smile, hug her, hold back your tears, and remember your speech. It's all you can do to not curl into a ball and sob, wondering where you went wrong.

You know where you went wrong. You should've said something when he said speak now.