Chapter 1

"Rouge, how are you doing today?"

Rouge wearily looked towards the therapist as she slowly came back to reality from her daydream. Feeling embarrassed that he had targeted her to be the first to speak, Rouge cautiously cleared her throat as she pressed her hands together, preparing to speak.

"I-I'm good. Nothing new…" Rouge responded, her cheeks burning hot as she turned to the ground, avoiding the stares of the others.

"Would you like to tell us how your week has been since our last group meeting?"

Rouge glanced up towards the therapist once again, slowly shaking her head. She could see the disappointment in his eyes. But she could also see the understanding, almost as if he wanted to push her to speak more, but knew he shouldn't.

"Alright, Rouge." The therapist sighed, and looked around the room, trying to determine who hadn't spoken in the group session today.

"We're all here for you, you know…" A petite echidna whispered to Rouge, slightly smiling towards her. Gently, the echidna placed both of her hands over Rouge's and gave them a small squeeze. "There's something that's hurting us all… we're all the same and that's why we're all here to help each other."

Rouge looked at Tikal and smiled back, genuinely appreciating the echidna's concern. Gently removing her hands from Tikal's, Rouge sighed and looked down at them, picking at her nails as she thought of what to say to the kind echidna.

"Thank you, Tikal… That's really sweet of you to say…"

Tikal nodded towards her and turned away, facing the therapist once more.

"Believe me, we all understand but it doesn't hurt to be reminded that we're here to help."

Rouge nodded, still gazing at her hands as the young echidna's words replayed in her head.


"This was a good session today! I'm extremely pleased with everyone's progress and remember, "what we can't do alone, we can do together." Our next meeting is on Thursday, at five o'clock! Stay safe and can't wait to see you all again."

Chairs moved against the wooden floor as people rose to leave the building. Small chatter began again between people as they said goodbye towards their friends within the group. Rouge, usually keeping to herself, walked towards the exit with her head down, avoiding eye contact with others. She could feel Tikal's eyes watching her walk away, upset that Rouge didn't even acknowledge her as she left.

What did that echidna want from her? It had only been a month since the bat had joined the group therapy and she didn't even willingly join it. If it weren't for Amy getting in her business and pestering Tails to put her in the group… She sighed. No reason to blame her friend for caring for her so much.

As Rouge was lost in thought, Tails gently placed his hand on her back, startling the white bat.

"Rouge, can I have a word with you?"

Rouge slowly turned around to face the golden fox, crossing her arms in the process. Looking towards the ground, she nodded her head.

"Rouge, it's been a month… Are you getting more comfortable? Do you like the group?"

Rouge looked up and stared Tails right in the eyes. She could sense his concern for her and she greatly appreciated that he tried so hard to get her to open up. But how could she? She was all alone for most of her life and him and Amy pushed her to be in this group. She couldn't just spill everything that had hurt her to strangers. What did they expect from her?

"I only have two weeks left until you'll let me drop out from the group, right? That was the deal…"

Stunned, Tails nodded his head slowly and sighed. Of course she wanted nothing other than to get out of therapy but he didn't want her to give up. It was hard to get her to agree to even give this a chance; Amy had to pester Rouge to even consider talking to Tails and it took him months before he was able to get the annoyed bat to even agree to coming to group therapy. In the end, he somehow had managed to convince her to be in the group for six weeks and if she liked it, she could stay. But if she didn't like it, she could leave and neither him or Amy would bother her about it again. Deep down, he knew that Rouge knew she needed to get help but she was too stubborn and kept to herself. He had tried hard to get her to like the group but his efforts were rewardless; each time the group met, Rouge would do anything possible to avoid speaking. First, it started with her needing to get a glass of water. Then, she had to use the bathroom every time she was called on. No matter how many times Tails had tried to get her to actually participate in the group, either she avoided it or she would only give small, broad details. She was determined to be left alone, and it hurt Tails to know that she was suffering that badly.

"Yes, Rouge. However, I really think you should consider staying longer. You have a lot to learn and it doesn't hurt to know you're not alone."

Rouge plastered a small smile on her face and reached out to place her hand on Tails shoulder. She watched as confusion spread on his face, and giggled, using her other hand to run her fingers through her tangled hair.

"Tails, you really shouldn't worry for me. You and Amy are far too concerned. I'm honestly fine. I'm just.." She stopped and bit her lip, swallowing as she tried to find the right words. "…not… happy… with how my life has been. But I'm fine, honestly. You have nothing to worry about."

With that said, Rouge turned around and headed out the door, leaving Tails behind as he worriedly watched Rouge walk away.


Rouge jumped into bed as she covered herself with her blanket, reaching over to shut off her lamp. It was eleven o'clock and she wanted nothing more but to sleep. She put her arm under her pillow and squeezed it as she placed her head down, immediately feeling relief as her eyes began to slowly shut.

Minutes passed as the bat slept quietly. But even sleep wouldn't let her escape the demons that cloud her mind every day. Slowly, the content smile on her face turned into a frown, and anyone could see that her nightmares were back to haunt her. Uncomfortable, the bat turned from left to right and kicked the sheets, almost as if she were fighting someone off of her.

Oh, Rouge…

There's nothing to be scared of…

There's no such things as monsters…

"N-no… Leave me a-alone…" Rouge murmured, eyes tightly shut as she struggled to stay asleep and diminish the nightmare.

Come here, Rouge…

See, there's no monster in the closet…

Come closer, don't be scared…

"NO!" Rouge woke up, eyes wide awake as she pulled her legs to her chest and rocked herself gently back and forth. Sweat poured down her body as she began to cry, stuffing her face between her knees.

"Why… Why again…"

Questioning herself through her sobs, she looked up and her eyes immediately fell on a small drawer that sat across the room. Her eyes remained locked on the drawer as she bit her lip. Shaking her head, she looked away and repeated to herself, "No, Rouge. No. You can't do this to yourself anymore…"

But it was no use.

Biting her lip again, she turned to look back towards the drawer. It couldn't hurt, right? It could help her sleep, help her escape… Sighing, she mentally slapped herself as she stood up and headed towards the drawer.

She could always stop another day…

Bending down in front of the drawer, she ran her fingers towards the handle before tightly gripping onto it and yanking it open, causing the drawer to shake aggressively for a second before reaching to a stop. Grabbing the contents inside, Rouge spread them out on top of the drawer, the clink of the contents hitting the wooden desk making her ears twitch in delight.

Drugs of all different kinds laid on her desk, her eyes quickly scanning them as she tried to choose her drug of choice for the night. Whether she should just roll a blunt or snort some cocaine, she didn't know. All she knew was she had to get high, anything to make her feel different compared to how she felt now.

After scanning her stash of drugs one more time, she sighed, shook her head, and placed the contents back inside her drawer. Standing up, she almost decided to just go back to bed and forget that she almost destroyed all of the hard work she had done in recovering for the past month. But no, the addiction was impossible to stop when she was alone. The constant voice in her head telling her to do it, the twitch in her hands, the shaking of her body; she had been addicted for too long to know that she possibly would never be able to recover.

Walking out of her bedroom door, Rouge headed towards the kitchen, holding on to things to keep herself steady as she walked throughout the house in the dark. Once she stood in front of a large cabinet, she quickly opened it and came face to face with twenty bottles, all stacked nicely, waiting to be drank from. After examining each bottle, she chose a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka and shut the cabinet, sinking down to her knees as she opened the bottle and drank from it, instantly shutting her eyes as she felt the alcohol burn the back of her throat.

Before taking another sip from the bottle, she wearingly looked at her reflection through the glossy label and forced her grip on the bottle to become stronger as she began to shake, throwing her head back as she tried to contain her tears. The image that stared back at her wasn't her; physically, it was but mentally, it wasn't. What had she done to herself? Who had she become? She remembered the days where she had been strong and carefree but now… Now, she couldn't even sleep without vicious memories attacking her dreams every night.

Shaking, Rouge rose the bottle to her lips and silently drank from it, shutting her eyes tight as she allowed herself to chug the bottle down. Once she felt she had drank enough, she placed the bottle down beside her and placed her head in her hands, rubbing her eyes as she felt the effects finally take over.

A.N.:

"And then something invisible snapped insider her, and that which had come together commenced to fall apart."- John Green, Looking for Alaska

So, new story. And it's gonna be a chapter story! Wow, surprising!

Anyways, I wrote this at 10:00 at night after doing a 3 hour hike earlier today so I'm exhausted as fuck and might have to edit this another day. But for now, it'll do and I'm really excited for you all to read and tell me what you think

So, Rouge is a drug addict and/or alcoholic. Poor baby… I personally have never struggled with addiction with drugs so I'll try my hardest to write a realistic story but if any of you would like to help, don't be afraid to leave a comment in the review 3 The only "drugs" I "do" is, well, alcohol and pot and well, another character in the story, wink wink, does some pretty hardcore stuff that I may have to research in how to describe the symptoms and effects so bare with me if throughout the story, it's not the best description of a drugs effect.

So, what's going to happen next? Concerning her therapy sessions, will she stay with the group or will she leave after the last two weeks?

Please leave reviews or comments, they'd be greatly appreciated

With Love,

Celesta Asta xoxo