I woke up in a stranger's bed
With pins and needles in my head
And the clock ticking off the wall
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah
Your head is fucking pounding. Jesus motherfucking Christ. You think you overdid it on the motherfucking human soporifics last night. You blearily open your eyes to discover you're not even in your own bed. You look down at your body; still clothed. Okay, so you didn't pail nobody, good. Where are you?
I don't even know myself
I wish I could be someone else
But I don't have a clue at all
Oh, yeah
You try to remember where you are, or even how you got here. Nothing. You remember your dancestor Kurloz telling you about this miraculous party, and you went with him and his hyper matesprit that reminded you of your purrsis. It was all kinds of miraculous colours and there were all kinds of smells, and this motherfucker offered to introduce you to this chick Mary Jane. Then you smoked some wicked shit with Kurloz and a bunch of his friends and one of them gave you this tiny white motherfucker. That's where your memory starts to get fuzzy.
Maybe you should ask Kurloz? But that's half the problem; you still don't know where you are, or how to get home. You take in your surroundings; a tiny apartment with a human bed, a table, and a miracle box in one room. The other room, partially separated by a wall, has a cooling unit, a fire-breathing heating device, and a "dish washer". You don't see any photos to tell you who lives here, so until you can find somebody, it looks like you'll have to sit tight and wait. I'm sinking
You're wading
I'm thinking something's gotta give
It takes you about 3 hours of spacing out and staring at the ceiling to remember that you have a mobile communicator. You pull out your "cell phone" and find Karkat's name. You tap on it, and the device calls your moirail. You hold it up to your ear and are greeted by shouting not a minute later. You smile to yourself. At least Karkat is the same.
"Hey Karbro, I kind of up and got myself all lost. You think you can come get a motherfucker and help him get his home quest on?"
"Oh my God Gamz, even after all this time on this shithole, you still manage to sound like a complete grub fucker! How the fuck did you get lost? I thought you were going to Kurloz's?"
You look around the room, and recognition blooms on your face.
"Oh yeah! I guess I am. You wanna come get your chill on anyhow brother?"
"No I do not want to 'get my chill on'! Believe it or not you fucktard, some of us work for a living! I guess you wouldn't care either way though, since you're probably too fucking burned out to understand a grub shitting word that's coming out of my talk blaster!"
"So is that a yes?"
"...I'll be over in 10 minutes. We better watch 50 First Dates."
"Of course, soul brother."
Oh
Wake me up
Say enough is enough
I'm dying to live
Something's gotta give
"Oh my God! That is it! I've had it with you and your stoner ass! Get out!" She pointed in the vague direction of the door, mouth drawn in a frown and red glasses reflecting the light from the window behind you. This wouldn't be the first time someone kicked you out while you were strung out.
"Gamzee, get the fuck out of my hive!"
"Uh, Gamzee, can you please... Leave..."
"Ugh you're such a paaaaaaaaiiiiiiiin!"
Maybe you need to listen more.
Oh
Pull me out
Of this sinking town
I'm dying to live
Something's gotta giveYou groan, everything in you throbbing. You feel more than hear someone stoop over you and check to see if you're still alive, which you somehow are. An exasperated sigh makes it to your bloody ears and there are hands on your shoulders, trying to get you to sit up. You cry out, not being able to form coherent words, and hope they get the message.
The hands set you back down, and the person sits next to you. Somehow, after you got your hyped ass beaten, you managed to make it back to Kurloz's apartment, figuring he would come back from the party the two of you hit sooner or later. You don't even remember why those motherfuckers were beating you, and you don't really want to; thinking makes everything hurt more. Somehow, a voice makes it through the pounding in your ears.
"Hey assface, you're bleeding all over your...bro's...bed. Get the fuck up would you? I'll take you back to my place."
You groan and try to move, but the most you can manage right now is to roll onto your side. The person you're pretty sure is Karbro huffs and helps you to your feet. Standing makes the pressure in your head heavier, but you figure you gotta get out of Kurbro's apartment before he can get mad at you for the blood stains you're sure you left.
Maybe I'm a fucking waste
Filling up the empty space
I've been here way too long
Oh, yeah, oh, yeahIt's been a month since you smoked anything or shot up or even swallowed a pill and you feel miserable. You can't find it in you to even get out of bed in the mornings, and you've resigned yourself to watching TV on the flat screen stuck to your wall. You can't hardly sleep anymore, kept up by the overwhelming need to put something in your body to make everything disappear.
You find it in you to kick off your blankets. You're not even hot, but you're sweating like a motherfucking oink beast. It feels disgusting. You close your eyes and listen to the sounds of an infomercial you don't have it in you to turn off.
I'm feeling like a nervous wreck
Living on my last paycheck
I'm a cliché in a song
And everybody's singing along"Gamz? Are you dead yet. Fucker answer me."
You pull the covers over your head and try to fuse yourself to the mattress. Maybe if he can't see you he'll go away. You hear a knock on your bedroom door and growl. You never were very lucky.
"Gamzee you piece of shit get out here! No one has seen you in days. Your own ecto-whatever thinks you've died in your own pile of squirming filth, and frankly I've fucking had enough!" The door opens and Karkat yanks the blankets off of you, making you shiver.
You're in nothing but your rainbow polka-dot boxers and socks. Earlier, when you were feeling better than you had all week, you felt hot, so you stripped and turned down the temperature in your apartment. Now you're shivering and cold, but still sweaty as fuck. You wonder if this is what it feels like to be Equius.
Karkat is looking at you with a mix of anger and concern in his features. He lays down next to you and brings the blankets back over the both of you, snuggling up to your chest. He feels hot, but you like it. You wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his hair, still shivering.
"Shit Gamz... I knew you were trying to sober up but... If it was this bad, you should've called me."
You wrap yourself around him more. "Didn't wanna up and bother a motherfucker with my own problems."
Karkat sighs. "You fuckface. I'm your moirail, you're supposed to bother me with your problems."
You shrug noncommittally and he sighs again. "Let's just go to sleep. We can figure something out later."
You close your eyes, lulled to sleep by Karkat's warmth.
I'm sinking
You're wading
I'm thinking something's gotta giveYou've been sober for about 6 human months now. Everyone is proud of you, especially Karbro. It's been hard, since you're always surrounded with drugs, but after Karkat made you move in with him to keep a better eye on you, it got easier. You think Karbro is planning some sort of surprise for you. You caught him writing something out and calling all of your friends and he denied anything you said. You may not be the sharpest threshecutioner's blade in the dungeon, but you can tell when your moirail is lying.
Oh
Wake me up
Say enough is enough
I'm dying to live
Something's gotta give
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. You fucked up. You motherfucking fucked up. You slipped up. You were doing so motherfucking well and now you've ruined everything. What will Karkat think of you? He'll fucking hate you. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Oh
Pull me out
Of this sinking town
I'm dying to live
Something's gotta giveYesterday, Karkat came home to find you in the middle of the social block, shaking like a fucking leaf and crying like a wriggler. When he asked you what was wrong you couldn't speak, so you pointed a shaking finger at the trash bin. He ran over to it and found your mistake. The needle.
His face was blank as he walked back over to you and knelt in front of you. You thought he was going to hit you, or yell at you, or kick you out, and the thought made you cry harder. When he lunged at you, you shrieked. Until you realized that he was hugging you.
He held you tight as you muttered out hundreds and hundreds of apologies, and shooshed you when you started to get down on yourself. The two of you sat on the floor for what felt like hours, him holding you and you just wishing you could die.
Someone please come pull me out
From the shadow of my doubt
Wake me up
I'm fallingYou don't leave the apartment anymore. You hardly even leave Karbro's guest room, unless it's to go to the ablutions block. You don't watch TV though. You just sleep. Sleep and wake up and stare at the ceiling and wait to die. You don't even know why you made it out of the game; someone shoulda culled you sweeps ago. Yet you're still here.
Karkat checks up on you before and after work. He asks how your day was, if you've eaten at all, asks if you need anything. You usually answer him with grunts or head shakes, and after standing in your door with an unreadable expression for a while, he'll leave, and you'll sleep.
Oh
Wake me up
Say enough is enough
I'm dying to live
Something's gotta give
Your door opens in the middle of the night and Karkat slips in, shutting it quietly. You're awake, staring at the ceiling, but you don't think he notices. He sits down gently on top of your comforter, and you close your eyes. He sniffs, and you crack open an eye to see what's up. You can see tears leaving tracks down his face, and you struggle to shoosh him.
"I'm sorry Gamz..."
You almost sit up in bed right then. What does he have to be sorry about? You're the one who's wasting his time and money, living here like a vagrant.
"I'm sorry. I know it's hard... And I haven't been able to help you like a moirail should... I'm so sorry."
He pets your hair and walks out, unable to see your eyes in the darkness.
Oh
Pull me out
Of this sinking town
I'm dying to live (dying to live)
Something's gotta giveYou don't know how you've been able to do it, but it's been almost two years since you stuck that needle in your arm and you're still sober.
You asked Karkat to help you prepare this abandoned house you found. You want to turn it into a halfway home, where teens and young adults can come when they have nowhere else to go. Maybe you can help someone like you. When you told your Karbro about your new dream, he immediately insisted on helping you out until you were ready to stand on your own. You think it's going pretty well. You're painting the outside tomorrow, and after that you're going furniture shopping. For now, you're cleaning out the inside and fixing holes.
I'm sinking (I'm sinking)
You're wading (you're wading)
I'm thinking something's gotta giveGamzee's Miracle Fun House became a well-talked-about place amoung the homeless and forgotten people. You get a lot of visitors on a daily basis, and you know almost everyone by name. Once in a while, you're tempted to go back, but when you look at your new family, at the people you live and work with every day, you realize you don't need anything else to be happy.
A lot of people say you're making a huge difference for wayward people. You're not so sure, but you got no room to argue. You're just happy they're happy.
Your name is Gamzee Makara, and you've been the proud owner of Gamzee's Miracle Fun House for 10 years officially tomorrow. You don't know it yet, but right now everyone is planning a party for you. You never would've thought you were going to have a life like this, but that's okay. Some of the best plans aren't plans at all.
Oh
Pull me out
Of this sinking town
I'm dying to live (dying to live)
Something's gotta give
