Disclaimer: I don't own Alice Gakuen.
Past Devouring
May 2015
In the same room, ten years later, playing a different game.
A studious silence filled the room, which ten years ago had been bursting with youthful laughter.
Everyone concentrated on the mahjong pieces on the table, waiting impatiently with frequent sighs for their winning piece to come along.
All but Mikan.
Her cheeks were flushed; her neck burning and her hands faintly shaking. She couldn't concentrate for the life of her, as… well, one of her best friend's older brother had his warm, big hand on her thigh.
It couldn't be by accident because it had been there for more than two minutes now. Also, the hand was not idle by the thigh, but stroking and caressing it under the table, unseen by everyone else in the room.
Mikan didn't dare look in Natsume Hyuuga's way.
What the fuck is going on! Why is he touching me?!
Shall we rewind?
2005
This happened when the girls had one of their first sleepovers.
At the age of ten, this was a big deal. It was a big deal for them all to be under the same roof, past ten on Saturday night. On television, their current favourite film (A Cinderella Story, duh, I mean hello Chad Michael Murray!); in their hands, copious amounts of sticky sweets, salty crisps and fizzy drinks – all whilst being snuggled and cosied up in warm, thick blankets. Of course, it didn't take five minutes for the blankets (save Hotaru's) to be covered in unknown crumbs. In short, they had turned the living room into a mini movie theatre, littered and bursting with hyper preteen giggles.
(Honestly, now that Mikan thought about it, Mr. Hyuuga was a saint for putting up with the six of them when they were ten.)
This sleepover is important to the narrative. Why? Well…
"Okay gang," Sumire had clapped her hand in an authoritative manner (yes, they used to call themselves a gang…), "it's time for a little game…"
"Ooooh!" Anna had squealed in delight, even though jammy dodgers occupied her mouth. "What kind of game?"
"We should play Chinese whispers!" Nonoko, her twin, had suggested promptly.
"No, no, no." Sumire vetoed such childish proposals. "We are going to plan a game that teenagers play. Trust me, I heard this from my older sister."
Ahh, the 'older sibling' card. This card was the strongest card a preteen could possess if they wanted to seem in power. Why? Because passing on knowledge from the older and cooler teenager siblings gave the gang at the age of ten a sense of power, far beyond the capabilities of their age. It was important for the sibling to be a teenage though – Hotaru's brother, Subaru, for example who was ten years older than them so didn't make the cut. He was too old, and therefore could not provide the gang with relevant and up-to-date information.
Hotaru had stonily replied with a dubious eyebrow raised, "This better not be lame."
"Trust me. Wakako is fourteen. She knows what she's talking about."
"How did you find out about the game? Did she tell you?" Aoi had questioned, in a tone that exposed her awe.
"No. Even better." Excited, the gang had leaned in to Sumire eagerly. Sumire had whispered, "I heard her and her friend talking about this game when they were in her room. Top secret stuff."
Mikan had gasped at that point. "Wow…"
"What is it? What is it?
"What's the game?"
"Tell us, tell us!"
"It's called…" Sumire had held her breath in suspense – "… Truth or Dare."
The gang had mouthed the name of the game, entranced. Well, all except Hotaru who seemed somewhat disappointed by this great 'revelation'. She didn't hide her displeasure, "That does sound lame."
"No, trust me it's not lame. We all go around in a circle and you have to pick either a truth or dare. If you pick Truth, we get to ask you a question and you have to answer truthfully. If you pick Dare, we get to dare you to do something weird or crazy."
Mikan remembered being confused. "What do you mean by weird or crazy? Like… sing a song?"
Sumire seemed exasperated at the example. "No, Mikan! I mean something really crazy… like prank calling someone!"
All the girls giggled at that – the mere thought of prank calling was enough to get all the sugar they had consumed shoot straight up to their brain.
This was being ten.
Even Hotaru looked forward to the prospect of thinking up some devious dares. So, the six of them all huddled themselves into a circle and the game of Truth or Dare began at precisely 10:19pm.
The game only lasted two minutes though. But more about the two minutes, and how it was so rudely interrupted.
"Okay, Aoi, because this is your house you go first."
Nervously, Aoi nodded.
"So, truth or dare? Pick."
"Um…" Aoi had thought hard. Realizing that she had no secrets to hide anyway, she decided to pick: "Truth!"
"Okay, Aoi," Sumire took charge of the situation, and the others let her, for they did not know what kind of questions they should be asking, "my question to you is… do you have a crush on anybody?"
The word 'crush' alone was enough to get them all gasping and laughing. They all looked upon Aoi eagerly, ready to hear a handsome boy's name. All but Mikan. Mikan once again felt confused at this point, and before Aoi could utter a name, she couldn't help but ask, "What do you mean by a crush?"
"You know. Like fancy. I asked Aoi who she fancies."
"I don't fancy anyone."
The girls all laughed at Mikan. Sumire sighed, "Mikan, I wasn't asking you. This is Aoi's Truth."
"Sorry!" Mikan giggled, and looked upon Aoi eagerly along with the rest.
Now the attention was on her, Aoi faltered a bit. Aoi had been the newest member of the gang, having moved to Tokyo in the past four months. The girls had been most accommodating to her, and soon enough she felt she could call Tokyo her home.
"Well?" Sumire urged. "Don't make me put a time limit on you!"
Aoi squeaked. "Okay. Well my crush is… Akanishi Jin!"
The year was 2005. Every girl had a crush on Akanishi Jin. This was nothing special, unique or gasp-worthy. Or so Sumire thought: "No, Aoi! It can't be a celebrity crush 'cos that's not real – everyone has a celebrity crush. What I meant was who is your proper crush!"
"I don't have one! Wait… do any of you?!"
They all looked at each other, shocked to think that one of them might like a real boy and not a celebrity boy.
And that's when time ticked to two minutes, and the game ended: the door swung open with a crushing bang, causing the girls to jump in surprise, away from each other in hope to hide the fact they were playing a teenage game.
There stood Aoi's older teenage brother, Natsume.
Natsume was fifteen – five years older than the gang, and so seemed endlessly smarter and more experienced than the six girls.
At the age of ten, Mikan thought Aoi's brother was scary – she referred to him only as Aoi's brother and never by his name. He was tall, quiet and always seemed to be frowning, scoffing, grunting or sneering. Yuka, her mother had told her that this was common in teenage boys because of something called hormones when Mikan voiced her small fear in confidence to her mother.
This was the third time Mikan had met Natsume, and once again, he seemed cross at someone, something or maybe just at the world.
"Onii-chan!" Aoi cried, "Don't scare us like that!"
By the looks of it, it seemed that Natsume was unaware (and unimpressed) that Aoi and all her friends were having a sleepover in the living room. Nonetheless, he had curtly bit out, "What are you doing."
"Um, sleepover! I put the memo on the fridge: do not disturb!"
How dare he disturb the Universe!
Natsume looked at all of them in their pajamas with a derisive, superior sneer. "Whatever. I'm going to Luca's party. Don't be too loud – dad needs to sleep at some point."
"We're not!" Aoi obstinately defended her and her friends.
"Well, I would keep it down if I were you because I was just about to find out who your real crush was, Aoi."
Aoi went bright red at that, and grabbed her pillow. She aimed, and then launched it in the direction of her good-for-nothing, mean older brother. Snickering, her brother closed the door behind with a nonchalant, "See ya," and so, the pillow hit the door with a soft, cushiony thud.
Aoi fumed. "Ugh! He's so mean!"
"Shh!" Anna worriedly shushed, "He might hear you again!"
Regardless, Aoi turned to Sumire and viciously answered, "You want to know my real crush? Well, it's no-one because I hate boys! Boys can go to hell!"
"Not all boys are like your brother," Hotaru pointed out in a level-headed voice, "some are nice, I hear."
"He's so scary…" Mikan could help but whisper, which was received with sounds of agreement by Anna and Nonoko, "and…" she paused, scared to say it out-loud, "didn't you say that he… smokes?"
They all gasped. Smoking was the worst thing anybody could do.
Solemnly, Aoi nodded. "Yup. I saw him." She vehemently continued, "And he goes out drinking with his stupid friends all the time. When I'm a teenager, I'm not going to be anything like him!"
The gang nodded fervently, scared to even think of the possibility that they might be smoking and drinking copiously in five years time. Well, that is all except Sumire. Sumire on the other hand looked starstruck.
Sumire didn't hide her admiration, for she squealed, "What are you guys talking about! Natsume-sama is so cool."
"Natsume… sama?!" Nonoko gasped at the revered formality. "Sama?!"
"Cool?! How is being mean and how is smoking and drinking cool?" Aoi demanded to know.
Sumire cleared her throat, ready to recite what she had heard her sister, Wakako, say a few days before: "He's such a tall and good-looking bad boy. Like, Leonardo Di Caprio!"
"Leonardo Di What-Now?"
Sumire sighed at her friends' lack of knowledge. "He's a Hollywood actor, duh. He smokes too. He's super cool."
"Wait, wait. Does this mean to be cool we have to do that?" Mikan felt her heart beat at the thought of her massacring and reducing her lungs to black soot.
Sumire shrugged. Hotaru denied this immediately and comforted her best friend, "No Mikan. Besides, it's lame for any of you to even care what's cool or not. Fashion changes every year. By the time we are fifteen, it might be considered cool to plant trees and meditate."
Sumire squawked, "What! That's crazy!"
"You never know."
"Well, I have it on good authority," (by that, she meant Wakako), "that Natsume-sama is the most popular boy in his year, and soon enough in high school. He's the real deal."
Aoi crossed her arms, "Oh yeah? Well if you like him so much you can be his little sister because frankly, I quit! I want someone like Subaru-nii-chan as my older brother."
Hotaru glowed with Imai pride, and Mikan couldn't help but agree – having Subaru would be miles better than having Natsume as an older brother.
"Ew, no! I don't want him as my brother. After all, you can't date your brother."
Silence filled the room for all but six seconds before all the girls burst out: "Sumire! Is he your real crush?!"
Proudly Sumire nodded and declared to the room, "Natsume-sama is my crush! But you can't tell him, especially you Aoi!"
"I would never admit such atrocity!" Aoi promised, mortified at the thought of her friend liking her brother. "You should reconsider though, seriously! Your taste in men is questionable. Not to mention, as my friend you are probably not allowed to date my brother anyway. I think that's a rule."
This was ten years ago.
Ten years ago, Aoi's older brother intimidated Mikan. Ten years ago she was told that dating a close family member was against the rule – and honestly, she had no problem with the rule for she had no intention of breaking it anyway.
A lot had happened in ten years. Granted, they were still all friends but changes occur. Like, they don't call each other a gang anymore (instead, they are a squad in 2015). Mikan is now a social smoker, and rolled her eyes when people told her how she was going to die of lung cancer at the age of forty. They were just finishing up their first year of university, having spent a gap year all together.
2015 so far had been an all-time low for Mikan, consisting of existential crises every other day: loneliness, philosophical bewilderment and asking strangers in bars 'What is the point of everything and my degree', usually in states of inebriation.
Mikan had spent her first year of university more drunk than sober, and had little friends to depend on at her Alice University.
There's nothing to laugh about that.
The six of them had been the gang, the squad from the age of ten, and so for them to go in different directions for university had been a hard change, especially in the first few weeks. Like dandelions, they dispersed, expected to grow, mature and prosper elsewhere, with only the capricious wind as their guide.
But none, it seemed to Mikan, felt the change more severely than herself, who spent nights alone (after two semesters!) watching Netflix whilst text-saving her friends in different cities from disastrous but hilarious date nights.
Mikan's date night total? Zero.
Her love life sucked – it was more severe than 'sucked' really as there was literally no 'sucking' action anyway. It was non-existent. Nil.
But that didn't bother her so much. Only sometimes. It just gnawed at her self-esteem, annoyingly so.
It was more her loneliness at university, lack of friends and her routine of going straight back to halls after lectures that pained her. Especially as she knew her squad had made friends in their new respective cities in their new respective universities.
It wasn't like Mikan was socially inept. On the contrary, she was friendly, easygoing and could laugh at herself. It was strange – it was as if she had skipped the whole 'finding-yourself' procedure at high school. High school was a breeze: this, being twenty, was a fucking slap in the face alongside a cold splash of reality right in the eye.
Tokyo felt miserable without her friends, but one thing she realized was how dependent she was on her friends, and that scared her.
(Because they didn't seem to need her as much as she needed them. They were happy. She was miserable.)
The wind had not been a kind guide to Mikan.
And so, when Aoi had called her earlier in the week to tell her that she was coming back to Tokyo for two days, Mikan was overwhelmed with happiness, so much so that she wondered whether her exuberant happiness at Aoi's nostos in fact exposed her general recent unhappiness.
Another thing: Mikan did not tell her squad about her depression.
She never thought she would ever be embarrassed by her feelings, yet here she was. She was embarrassed to think she was the only unhappy, unloved and friendless one out of the six.
And well, that's how we get back to our narrative.
Aoi Hyuuga is back in Tokyo in May 2015.
She invites her best friend, Mikan, to her house for dinner.
She opens the door when the doorbell rings, and Mikan is ecstatic at the sight of her, and at the familiar sight and the nutty sandalwood smell of the Hyuuga house, the walls filled with Mr. Hyuuga's paintings of his dead wife, Kaoru. Kaoru seems to Mikan to be saying hello across the universe of Paint.
And now…
"Oh, I can't wait for summer until we are all here back in Tokyo," Aoi gushed, as she took Mikan's coat, "by the way, I love your new hair! It looks fabulous! Oh, and hope you are okay with spaghetti bolognese – my brother's here, and well, you know that's the only thing he can cook…"
"Yes, oh my God, yes. You know I love your brother's spag bol. I haven't had it in ages."
Aoi grinned. "Well, come come! My dad's in the kitchen – he can't wait to see you. Natsume's friends are all here too – the usual idiots, you know them all."
"Familiarity is nice." Mikan smiled, and hugged her friend again.
That was when Natsume appeared. "Hey," he said, casually, "long time no see, Polka Dots."
"You really have to stop with that nickname… that was seven years ago. Get over it."
It was at the age of twelve Mikan decided that she was not scared of Aoi's older brother. Yes, he was seventeen then (which was, to her horror, even scarier than fifteen) and she only twelve, but after two years, she had grown immune to his snide remarks and scoffs once she realized that he wasn't being mean or victimizing, but rather that was just how he was.
And that was fine.
But then how in May 2015 and why did Mikan find herself later that evening playing mahjong with Aoi, Natsume, their father and Natsume's friends in that same living room with Natsume's hand touching her thigh without anyone suspecting the aforementioned intimate caressing?
Well… that's a whole other chapter, really.
A/N: Hurrah, I've done with exams! Hurrah, it's time for another Summer writing project! If you haven't already, check out my 2014 summer writing project called, 'The Break-Up'. Unlike last year, I will not be updating everyday, but I promise this story will be done before autumn :)
(My other stories? I will update them along the way)
Please drop a review!
