There are shadows on the street. I watch them drift behind people, following every movement, walking the walk – helplessly tied behind their somebodies. I can't be like that. I won't. I let him know that I'm here every waking moment. And sometimes it's not fair.

But hell. Life's not fair.

I had a life. People find that hard to believe, but I did. I had my first kiss. My first fuck. I fell in love. I'm still in love. They say we don't feel anything, but I never believed that lie. I felt so much, but now, all I have are the memories that are collecting dust in his head.

I hate him for it. I want my life back.

I had a life. I was a person. I didn't have to wish to be a real boy. I was one. And I want to go back and tell him no—"This is my life." But I know better. It wasn't supposed to be. I wasn't supposed to have a life, a first kiss, a love—

He flinches as the red mane flashes in his mind. I smile. At least I have some control. That's right, you bastard, I think as hard as I can. Even though I know he can't hear me.

—a keyblade or friends. I wasn't supposed to have any of it. I think he wishes he never took me back. He'd rather be alone. He'd rather I never existed. I couldn't agree more.

I'm tired of the salty ocean air and that stupid girl with the auburn hair and violet eyes (because she's supposed to be a blonde with sky blue eyes.) But that girl, she's gone now, no better than those shadows on the wall. And I refuse to fade like her. Like any of them. I'm not a shadow on the wall. I'm just a guy stuck in a body that isn't mine.

I'm a guy who misses a place where it snowed so much we had to stay inside. A castle of darkness, with a man with mischievous green eyes.

Hell.

I miss it all.