Two souls were stating in the empty room, breaking apart, by choice and values that the other couldn't, wouldn't understand.
Only Silence was heard, silence that the one who was leaving wished to fill. To say good bye, to say words of love before he departed, yet the other only wish for him to stay, for him to promise his own return. That he couldn't do, make an empty promise in an empty room.
He had to go, to fight for his country, for a better world, for peace. And must of all, too fight for this man right in front of him. To make them leave in a world without war. To make them save.
He needed to. He had to be sure this man was saved.
His bag was heavy in his back. Tony didn't look at him not once.
He called his lover name, for him to turn his way, to look at him at least.
The door was open; the car was waiting for him. He had to go.
'I… I hope you can forgive me'
He left, only stopping when he hear his name been called
'I won't be here when you return'
His brown eyes showed how serious he was. He couldn't do anything more the nod and to turn his back away.
Tony had seen hell. Hell that made a hole in his chest. If not fighting for a better place was enough of an excuse to go to war, Steve would be sure no one ever again suffered has Tony Stark had once open a time. Made sure no one would use Tony like that again. And even if that meant he would never see Tony again, that Tony would hate him, so beat it, he could sleep better knowing the man he loved whit all his heart was save.
Just like that two souls were torn apart from one another.
It took him 1 year, endless nights, blood on his hands and the cold look of death for him to realize how wrong he was.
He couldn't do it. The look of children's crying, dying. The scream of horror and despair of full grown mans. He felt himself falling to insanity
He barely could sleep at night. His lungs were failing him more and more, as if the air wasn't enough. It brought back memories of a child who had once asthma. But that child had a mother to calm him down, to help him.
Now as a grown up man, Steve had Tony in memories. He saw the sweet brown eyes, full of love and care. Words of love wail both of them woke up together in a warm bed.
This made him stronger, made him able to live and fight for another day.
But everything has an end, and in a blood night where even the moon seemed to want to be red, Steve saw the final line.
The smoke, the blood, the smell of death in the air. He found himself crying like a lost child would. Not able to move, his eyes failing him a long whit his throat. He closes his eyes and felt himself fell into darkness.
The celling was white; the smell of sick left no mistake to where he was.
A nurse came running in, wearing a tired smile on her face. Saying words he didn't cared about
What was he doing here? In this place, in this war whit no end
'You do not have to worry. You will be up in your own feet and back to battle before you even know it'
The words of the small beautiful lady came rushing in, breaking his thoughts.
"Is this what my life his for… Too waste it in a world full of war?"
The lady speechless walked away slowly. Leaving the hurt man alone to realize how wrong he had been.
Oh, how Tony had tried to tell him, to show him sense.
Why did it have to be like this? There was so many ways to go and help, to give a helping hand for those who needed. Why war? He was in a war to end war. How did that work if he was in it? It wasn't about not helping people, or fight for a better cause.
It was about how a person ended up helping.
He was fighting for the right cause, but fighting in the wrong way.
In that moment Steve Rogers decided to go back home. Back to Tony.
If the man would still have him.
The hugs of loves ones are the sweets. They warm your soul, make you feel wanted, they show you, that you still have a place, a person to hug, that really cares about you.
They had come for him, after everything they come to welcome him, and even if a bunch of people were making a scene on the airport, they didn't really care, because this was their little family.
Only one person was missing, and strangely was the one he wished to see the most.
To hug, to cry in his shoulder and beg for forgiveness, to fell once more save around does strong arms. To feel the small touches that spoke volumes to him. The looks, the whispers of love, words that would show him that everything would be alright once more.
The man he wanted needed wasn't here. Tony wasn't here.
'I won't be here when you return'
The memories came unwanted. Not everything was lost. He would find Tony, even if the man didn't wish to see him, he would make everything in his power to make thinks right once again.
He gave a broken smile to the red hair lady still in his arms
"It's alright"
He mean it, there was still hope
The strongest women Steve ever known, start crying in his arms.
"You won't… You can't"
He felt something inside of him twist
Before the words came, the questions, a big warm hand rested on his shoulder from behind.
"Steve… Tony isn't coming back… His dead Steve"
'I won't be here when you return'
The words were echoing in his mind as a nightmare whit no end
In a room whit so many souls… One was left truly alone
Leaving Tony in an empty room almost broke him
War almost turned him insane
Losing him, losing his Tony, It didn't almost kill him.
There wasn't 'almost' in it
It simply did.
