Author's Note: This was originally going to be a surprise birthday story for the lovely Kristen3, but other things got in the way, so it's a bit late. Sorry about that! But I thought with Hot in Cleveland ending this week (*sniff*), it was appropriate to post it now. It may not be exactly what you wanted, but I hope I have done the show justice! :)


Joy sat on the couch, staring after the lady that pretended to be a new nanny for Wilbur. It was funny, but there was something about her that struck her as familiar. Same with the priest, and the masseur. She couldn't put her finger on it. Maybe it's Mitch, she thought. Being in love this way could make you do some weird things. She smiled, just thinking about Mitch.

Then she heard some noises in the kitchen. She thought she better take a look at what was going on. If something happened to the house, Elka would surely kill her. Councilwoman or not.

When she peeked through the door, the sight she saw surprised her. Mrs. McCracken seemed to be on fire, and furiously trying to get it out, outside.

Joy was in a panic, and there were Elka and Mamie Sue just sitting there, looking as if nothing was wrong.

"What the hell is wrong with both of you?! That poor woman is burning out there!"

But all Elka and Mamie did was look at each other and laugh. Joy was furious. She'd deal with them later. Exasperated, she went outside.

"Mrs. McCracken? You need help! I'll call the fire department, and they'll come right away. We've had good luck with that when we've needed it." Which wasn't often, but maybe Mrs. McCracken caught her drift.

And apparently, she did. "No!" she said in a strong male voice. Joy was thoroughly confused. "No, I'll be alright, dearie." The original voice was back. Something funny struck Joy. It couldn't be...

"You're not Mrs. McCracken, are you?"

Looking shocked and surprised at first, slowly, Mrs. McCracken brought her hand up to her hair. When she pulled it off, there was Simon. He had been here the whole bloody time! Pretending to be a nanny.

"Simon! Wha-what are you possibly doing here?! We were just video chatting the other day. I was worried sick about what you may or may not have heard. And now you're doing this? Masquerading as a nanny? This is unspeakable, Simon. You better have a veery good explanation about all this."

By this time, Elka and Mamie Sue had appeared in the doorway, looking sheepishly. Joy looked back at them, feeling their presence. "And you two knew about this, didn't you? Why didn't you tell me?"

"We all knew, Joy. And we're sorry." From nowhere came Victoria's voice, with Melanie behind her. Joy was incredulous. She didn't know what to say or do. She didn't even know if she could text Mitch. He would be so upset at her former boyfriend arriving back in town. Former boyfriend and Wilbur's grandfather, she added.

She turned back to Simon, who was trying to step out of the dress. If she wasn't so mad, she'd laugh. Simon always did know how to make her laugh. "These things are so uncomfortable, how can you stand it?" He said as he was back to normal.

"Before you make me forget about what's happened, I have to know...Did you hear me say that I love Mitch before you froze up on the camera?" She thought she'd go crazy if she didn't know that little bit.

Simon gingerly took Joy's hands in his. From behind, Elka stifled a comment about Joy's man hands. This wasn't the time.

"Yes, I did. I had the crazy idea that I would come and try to win you back. But I see that I've done it all the wrong way. I have a little owning up to do. First of all, I was in the closet when you called me."

Joy let go abruptly. "The closet?! Simon! You were here the whole time?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. And your roommates here have been covering for me. I know you're mad at them, but it was for you they were doing it. I owe them a lot. And then, you might've noticed me around town. I was the priest when you came for confession, and I was also the masseur who gave you the back rub. I must say though, it seemed as if you enjoyed that." Simon smiled that smile that Joy first fell in love with. But she realized then. She wasn't in "love" with him now. He didn't make her feel the way Mitch did.

"Simon, I don't know why you did all this, but I'm afraid it isn't going to work. I'm sorry, but Mitch is the one for me right now. Oh, don't look so sad. There has to be someone out there besides me."

"I'll volunteer!" Elka piped up.

Joy rolled her eyes. "Oh, old woman, don't be ridiculous. I won't allow that to happen!"

"Oh, don't be so mean, Joy. I'm-I'm sorry for not telling you that he was here the whole time. It was my fault. And Mamie's."

"Hey now, don't bring me into this. I just wanted to see Mrs. Doubtfire." Mamie laughed.

"Oh my God, that's why you were burning? Because of a movie?" Simon hung his head in shame. Suddenly, Joy felt sorry for him, and she didn't want to stay mad at him forever. He was Wilbur's grandfather, which meant they still had to see each other, whether they liked it or not.

"Simon, you're so sweet for doing all this, but really, it's over between the two of us. We did have some great times together, and...great sex, I'll admit it. But, I've moved on, and I hope that you do the same. For Wilbur's sake, if not for Owen's. Or your own."

Joy felt like a weight was lifting off her shoulders. She never thought she'd be able to say that to his face.

Simon sighed. Joy was right, whether he wanted to admit it or not. "You're right, Joy. I know it was foolish of me to win you back, but I couldn't help myself. When I heard you were in love with someone else, I got jealous. I suppose I always will be jealous of the guy you see, when it isn't me. But we have more in common now than just two people in love. I didn't realize that until now."

"You have a son, and a grandson that love you. And will always love you. And I suppose I will too. Goodbye, Simon." She leaned in slowly for one last kiss. Kissing Simon was a lot different than kissing Mitch. With Mitch, she felt more alive and special. She smiled.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a boyfriend to call." She went back into the house, leaving everybody to stare after her. I have my happy ending, she thought as she pulled out her phone.

The End