Cloud drew in a deep breath, and for a moment he pondered if he'd ever exhale. He hated these moments. Nothing worried him more than laying there with nothing to do but face himself. There was no fanfare, no turmoil, no adventure to distract him from his own nightmare. His heart jumped into his throat each time he heard Tifa clutter a dish. He thought how he hated her clumsiness, and her mechanical repeated motions. Each clink came with precision timing, and they were all followed by the same dragging scrape. Forget about nails on a chalk board. Nothing drives a man up the wall like the sound of knives splintering into cheap ceramic dishes.

What Cloud didn't know is that his projected anger was holding back a terror that he could never defeat. He always had a foreboding sense that something was terribly wrong deep within his mind. He'd always passed it off with some excuse. He'd tell himself it was his geostigma, or something to do with those horrible experiments. Maybe it was his contact with the lifestream. Whatever it was, he fooled himself into believing Tifa understood it.

Clould suddenly burst out, "Shit Tifa! Are you trying to get my attention or did someone break the window?!".

"No, Cloud. What's the matter?"
"You know damn well what's the matter! Can't you wash a dish without bringing down the entire house?!"

Tifa sighed, "You know Cloud, I wash these for you."

"We've traveled the damned globe and all you care about is dishes. Do you think Yuffie sits around holding a smelly ass rag washing plates?! Why won't you just get a dish washer?", Cloud retorted as he trampled down the stairs.

As soon as he reached the first landing Tifa was there at the bottom with her hands on her hips and her head cock to the side. She gave him that look. Cloud didn't have anything else to say, but he felt the urge to scream, "I want out! I want out ! I want out!".

"Ahh, Cloud having one of your pity parties again, now are we?"

"Shut up Tifa, I don't want to hear it", Cloud murmured as he slid down with his back against the wall.

"I know what you are going to say, Tifa. I know you are going to say it wasn't how I remembered it. Blah, Blah, we were eco-terrorists and we didn't have to kill those people. The calamity was a coincidence...but no...don't you dare...don't you dare say she polluted my mind. You could never understand. She saw the world for what it really was, and they knew she was dangerous."

"Cloud, Cloud, I know how you..."
"Shut up, stop right there...you think you know. You don't know shit, Tifa. Both you and Barret. You can't see this world for what it really is...there is something more to this world."
"Cloud, I know what Shinra did to you. I saw the experiments, I was there. I saw Jenova...but it's just a head Cloud. It doesn't have any powers, and it's not from outer space. It didn't summon the calamity. The clones are all dead, and the experiments are over Cloud. We really needed you, you know, a trained killer, but sometimes..." She paused. She didn't know if she should say, but she could see he needed her help.

" Cloud, it wasn't right to bring you along. We knew something was different about you. We knew, Cloud, we knew you saw things. You weren't fighting men...no, you were fighting something else. Cloud, you've been fighting yourself".

"Don't fucking play with me Tifa, you were there! You were there in Junon when weapon attacked. How could you forget that!", Cloud's shout stammered into a whimper. "I know, I know a genetically engineered whale. But, what about the Zolom?"

"Yes, Cloud. We all saw the Zolom. We all saw the Condor. That's not what I am talking about." She reached out and smacked his hand, and knocked loose the materia that Cloud was foundling. "It's that damned materia. It messes with your head. Yuffie runs around days without sleep, literally climbing up the walls. Cloud, do you hear me...literally climbing up the walls. I know why you and Barret liked her around. It's a miracle you two didn't catch a disease from that nasty little slut."

"Shut your fucking mouth, Tifa. You're such a prude. The fate of the entire WORLD was hanging in the balance. You can't blame us if we wanted to unwind, besides it's not like she had a lot of time before us to get around. It's not like we were married, and I never swore myself to you in any way. Besides, with the kind of people you take in, it's so ironic to hear you slut shaming."

"Cloud, you know what I mean...No, fine, I'll say it. You're such a pig. You let that bitch suck you off, steal all of our shit, and almost kill Cid with the stupid Shuriken! She was only sixteen Cloud! Do you know what kind of trouble you could have got into? Aeris and I always knew why you guys let her back..."

"Don't bring her into this...I said don't mention her name!", Cloud growled in a murderous tone. "Don't you ever, ever, ever mention her fucking name again! You don't have the right!". Cloud stood himself up and began lurching up the stairs.

"Cloud, wait! I'm sorry, you're right."

Cloud starred back at her with those mako green eyes filled deep with regret, hate, and anger. Sometimes Tifa thought he wished it was her that had that blade pierce her heart. She thought how hard it must have been for him. He'd always seen himself as the protector, even a big guy like Barret didn't cross him. What did it feel like watching the woman you loved killed in front of you by a psychopath? How he laughed with those eyes challenging him to do something about it. What was he so afraid of? Cloud looked at that thin frail figure as if he wasn't human. He just stood there petrified with fear and disbelief. What could she have said to him to make him attack her, and why would Cloud create this delusion that he could control his mind? She wondered if Cloud even felt like a man again after that day.

Tifa hated leaving Cloud like this. She didn't want to be away if he had another one of his episodes, but she had to get out of the house. The shop had been closed for the holiday. She thought it was funny how people didn't even really celebrate it as a day of remembrance anymore. Just another day for shopping . She wondered if she should stay open next year and do one of those early opening sales, but she knew Cloud wouldn't go for it. Cloud was never away on this holiday, actually he hadn't been on a long ride in weeks. The seat on his bike was even gathering dust, and it looked like it could use a good waxing. It was strange, and it wasn't like Cloud to leave his baby uncared for. She thought maybe she should text Barret and see if he'd like Cloud to fly out with him and take a look at how the oil field was coming along.

It had been awhile since they had seen Marlene. Marlene and Denzel were managing Strife Delivery services after they had sold the company to Cid. Cid and Barret didn't see eye-to-eye and rarely even spoke despite their forced business relations. Cid's newest ship, The Enterprise, was powered by huge materia, and Barret refused to allow any of his oil to be shipped on it. Marlene and Barret never talked about her employment even though they all saw each other when she was picking up a shipment.

Tifa's phone buzzed against her thigh. She reached into her pocket hoping it was Cloud telling her to come back. She looked down at the bright screen waiting for her eyes to regain focus from having been resting in the dark ambience of the old bar. The screen read, "Treasure Babe Extraordinaire".

"What's good bitch? Miss me yet?"

Tifa felt guilty for calling her such a horrible name. She thought it was wrong to judge her based on her style, but wouldn't admit she was a little envious of her carefree nature. Then she remembered that she got with a grungy grease monkey twice her age, and a juvenile slime bag partly responsible for the death of Biggs and Wedge. Still, Tifa didn't have a lot of friends to be picking and choosing, and she really felt like she needed to unwind.

"When did you get into my phone and change your contact name, huh?"

"He, He, yeah that's a secret between us Ninja Masters."
"You still with spike head? Can he even get it up after the geostigma?"

"That's none of your business, and I never said we were seeing each other."

"Lol, so yes and no."

"What do you want, Ms. Kisaragi?"

"Geeze woman, you cold as ice. Thought maybe you'd like to fly out to the palace and admire my materia collection. It is a time for remembering you know."

"Sorry, I don't think Cloud is in the mood to go travelling right now."

"Oh, don't you dare bring his sorry ass. Just the ladies."

Tifa knew just how wild Yuffie's parties could get. She'd just been getting on Cloud's case about irresponsibility. Then she remembered how he'd called her a prude, and thought maybe he was right. Maybe she needed to take some time to let loose and do her own thing. She told herself Cloud would be alright a few nights without her.

"Alright, Alright...I'll take the next boat out of Junon."

"No need fool, I am landing outside of Midgar right now...got my own airship complete with barf bag!"

"What no way?! How'd you land that?!"

"Oh Cid is a sucker for materia amongst other things..."
"Oh and on second thought I guess Cloud can come. I heard he likes to play dress up, and he might as well be a woman with all that bitching and moaning he does."

"Don't be a bitch, Yuffie."

Tifa thought she'd order another drink before she headed out. She didn't want to put up with Yuffie without having a slight buzz on. But it was too late. Tifa felt small hands covering her face.

"Guess who?"

"Um based on the mixture of expensive perfume and burnt loco weed, I'd have to say a skinny washed up girl with too much privilege and not enough commonsense."

Yuffie let out a shrill, "Uh! You're a lot nicer when you actually use swear words!". She added, "Besides, what had you cussing just now, that is so not like you".

"Sorry Yuffie, I've just been going through a lot right now."

"What do you mean? So, you really haven't been getting any lately, huh?"

"Ugh, not everything is about sex you know, and for your information he performs quite well and quite often, as you should know!"

"Heh, I preferred Barret. Still, better than anything I could get back at home."

"Yuffie! That is really inappropriate and stereotypical. You should apologize!"

"Oh really, I can't change the facts of my experiences, so who should I apologize to, myself? Where do you even get off judging others. I bet you still wear orthopedic panties!"

Yuffie grabbed Tifa by the arms and spun her out of her chair. She placed her hands on her cheeks and starred her directly in the eye.

"Have you ever been with another man besides, Cloud?!"

"Of course", she grunted in a softly defiant voice.

Yuffie scoffed, "Who, Don Corneo?"

Tifa placed her hands softly on Yuffie's shoulders. Staring her straight in the eyes she admitted, "It's really none of your business, but to tell you the truth...She paused. Nobody is really with Cloud, not even himself. Let's just get out of here. "

"Are you sure you want to leave without telling, Cloud?", Yuffie asked.

"He needs some time to get his shit together, and I am tired of being his mother."